The Wedding Reception – Selected Jokes

In April, 2019 I was the MC for a wedding reception. the reception was short (by Indian standards) and had several items on the agenda. One of the things that you need to do as an MC is to keep the humour and joy flowing so that it is a fun time for all. Most of the talking was ad-lib and I used a twist of words and my knowledge of the couple and their friends to throw in a lot of humour. However I also had a rehearsed set of jokes that I wove into the time. So here they go!

“I wanted to buy a gift for the couple and thought that a book on Amazon titled, “The secret to a lifelong happy marriage” would be appropriate. I ordered it and thanks to Amazon Prime I received it in a day. So there was this 100 page book with 100 blank pages! The moral is that the secret of a lifelong happy marriage is a….”. I looked at the couple:
“Secret”, he said – correct answer (He had been a wedding MC on many occasions!)
“Myth”, she said. (He was in trouble!)
This was delivered well and the couples response made it even better.

” So this bad guy kidnapped a woman and called her husband. ‘If you ever want to see your wife again, you need to pay 1 crore rupees’. The husband was shocked. He replied, ‘How much should I pay if I don't ever want to see her again’.”
After this, I went on to tease the couple that inspite of these kind of jokes, they will miss every minute they are apart and would do anything to be together every minute of the day. She was flying off abroad for a job in a months time and they would join up after a few weeks of that – so this anecdote made a nice point.

“Last night, Amits college friends were getting emotional and said, ‘Today must be the best day of your life’. Amit reminded them, ‘The wedding is tomorrow dudes’. ‘We know,’ they said.
His friend was proposing the toast after this and this seemed like an appropriate introduction to what was to follow.

“Amits friend Raj will be proposing the toast and introducing the couple. This will be the official, family friendly talk. Meet Raj after dinner for the rest of it”.

“The best way to never forget your wife's birthday is to forget it…..once….only once”. This was a one-liner the groom had used a few years ago when he was MCing a wedding reception. Interestingly the bride and groom today had the same birthdays, so this made for some interesting banter on stage. I also had to point out that my wife’s birthday was on Womans day and that she had pointed it out at our first meeting and I hence couldn't afford to forget it!

The rest of the MCing was to do with family fun, explanations of some traditions and some spontaneous comments by the parents! It turned out to be a good afternoon. Everyone was in a fun mood and the couple had some fun games too woven into the reception which made it very interactive

There were quite a few other fun things at the reception. Since the groom was renowned for saying 'epic' and shooting selfies, these were incorporated into the afternoon too. He still hasn't shown me the selfie he took with me though!

We had a traditional shoe game and a shoe ceremony at the end.

1. The Aisle, Altar, Hymn (I’ll Alter Him) joke – its just become too common.
2. “The best way to get a guy to do anything at home is to tell him he is probably too old to do it”. I somehow forgot mentioning this one which I had saved for after the toast
3. “In this mobile era, couples spend more time on their phones than with each other even for the wedding planning. Hence it is important to have a good reception”. This was suppowed to be the opener, but I started off with some informal banter and threw this out.

So thats a personalised post with my experiences. Do share more wedding and marriage jokes here!