- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
The Worst Relationship Advice I've Ever Heard
"Love him less than he loves you."
This is one of those quotes that is most likely said by bitter women who have been in bad relationships. They probably put too much into the relationship and then got nothing out of it.
Now I realize that this is basically saying to protect yourself at the core of this. However, to say that you should love a man less than he loves you is absurd. When I hear this quote, it sounds like it's just giving women an excuse to not try when the relationship gets tough. Not only is it unfair to the man in the relationship, but it just makes the woman look childish in this situation.
Love is about giving it your all even when you don't necessarily want to. If he's the only one giving in the relationship, then it can become one sided very quickly.
"Love will wait."
Now this is in the context of when a couple should get married after they've been dating. I've heard things like, "You should wait until you graduate college." "You should always live together first." "You should date at least five years so you can make sure you actually know this person." "Build a career first and then get married in your late twenties."
I realize that people are just trying to look out for you, but quite frankly, it's annoying when they try to assume they know what's best for you. I've seen couples date for two months, get married and stay together for many many years. I've also seen couples that have dated for ten years and then get divorced after a few months. Sometimes you never know what the future is going to hold and you won't know if you don't make that jump. If you both feel ready for marriage then go for it.
Bottom line is, you can spend years with a person and not know anything about them. It's not about the time you spend with them, but about what you both choose to do with that time.
"Have a baby to save your marriage."
This is probably some of the dumbest advice I've ever heard, yet I see people doing it all the time. A baby will not save your marriage, especially when it's on the rocks.
I think a common misconception here is that a lot of people think that babies bring love. While that is true, they can also come with a lot of complications and stress. So if you're already arguing in your relationship, the stress is only going to magnify once the baby comes.
"Never go to bed angry."
I heard this a lot growing up and I actually believed in this for a while. But once I was finally in a relationship I realized that it's okay to go to bed angry, because sometimes you just need to sleep on it.
I felt like when I was angry before bed I was more likely to say things that I didn't mean and the tone of it all would come off harsher than what I wanted it to be. I always felt that it was better to lay in bed, think about what I wanted to say, and get a good night's sleep. It was better than getting into a heated argument in that moment and then regretting it later. Instead we were able to wake up refreshed and tackle the issue a lot better.
Besides, a lot of issues are going to take much longer to sort out than twenty minutes before bed.
I'm sorry, but I think this is absolutely horrible for someone to do to their partner. It's manipulative, juvenile, and just plain rotten.
I understand that sometimes someone may not be in the mood for sex at the moment. However, to not have sex with someone for an extended period of time because they're angry at them isn't cool. Withholding sex will not solve the problem two people are having and it will certainly in many cases make the situation worse than it already was.
Instead of dangling the idea of no sex in front of the other person's face, it's much better for people to sort out their problems like mature adults should.