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The basis of domestic violence

Updated on May 1, 2012

Domestic violence comes in many varieties and is more prevelant than we would like to think.

This is the typical view of domestic violence, but....
This is the typical view of domestic violence, but....
sometimes it's the husband that's on the receiving end, Both have ways of hiding the truth.
sometimes it's the husband that's on the receiving end, Both have ways of hiding the truth.
Neighbors can get involved with domestic violence and this often starts with spying. Spy stores are everywhere and cater to this kind of activity.
Neighbors can get involved with domestic violence and this often starts with spying. Spy stores are everywhere and cater to this kind of activity.
Sometimes snooping is obvious, but more often it is far more furtive. Today we make spying easy with the likes of Facebook and other social sites.
Sometimes snooping is obvious, but more often it is far more furtive. Today we make spying easy with the likes of Facebook and other social sites.
The subject of abuse toward children is so sensitive, hardly anyone wants to touch on it in case it backfires into libel that can kill. Thus one of the most pervasive forms of domestic abuse continues virtually unimpeded.
The subject of abuse toward children is so sensitive, hardly anyone wants to touch on it in case it backfires into libel that can kill. Thus one of the most pervasive forms of domestic abuse continues virtually unimpeded.

Domestic violence comes in many shades and variations.

Domestic violence is usually depicted as an irate, frustrated or furious husband beating up his wife for one reason or another, usually on suspicion of cheating with another man or over financial questions. We usually hear stories of women hiding their battle scares with clothing, make-up, sun-glasses and the like. However; domestic violence is by far not restricted to husbands beating wives. Domestic violence has a far more diverse face than what is presented on media. It includes violence directed toward live in seniors, children, husbands and even snooping neighbors. One of the worst things that has occurred in the last decade is the so called snitch lines that encourages neighbors to spy on and snitch on one another as a form of harassment. There are shops, likely in your city and certainly on the internet that cater to the amateur spy, who could be your watching and listening neighbor. We were once told that this was the domain of the former Soviet Union, but this one has come home to roost with a vengeance right here in the US and Canada in an anti-trust environment rife with terrorist fever.

Let us look briefly at all the types of domestic violence that is out there and then turn our attention on what can be the worst culprit of all and why it is. Over and over, there are horror stories about the results of gossip, gossip, gossip. Even the Bible warns about the negative results of gossip. Gossip fuels a lot of domestic violence. Gossip often comes from outside like an insidious disease that corrodes families on the inside once it gets hold.

Anti-senior violence is a largely hidden form of mental and physical harassment that rears its ugly head where seniors are physically assaulted, chemically and physically restrained, starved and berated. As many seniors are house bound or restricted to an institution, this often goes unreported, unless a spy sees this and rats out the perpetrator(s). Nor is it restricted to visiting family members. Those who work in institutions are also involved such as the infamous case of the mass murder of seniors during the Katrina disaster in New Orleans, where institution staff overdosed dozens of seniors with morphine. At home, where institutions have little or no influence, senior abuse goes virtually unnoticed. When it is uncovered, the circumstances can be blood curdling.

Children are also victims of domestic violence that runs the range of physical, mental and sexual assaults. All of it is illegal and in some cases can result in severe action from the legal system. Like wives who are beaten, children often don't report crimes committed against them possibly due to ignorance and often due to fear of parental reprisal. Of all the domestic violence against children, by far the worst is sexual in nature where unwilling children are raped and/or confined in a place like a basement home made dungeon or in an attic. We hear stories on the media of children confined for over a decade and repeatedly raped. Two such stories unfolded in Europe. Sexual abuse of children is all too often the domain of the domestic. It is such a problem, that certain relations are just kept away or watched with extreme care and prejudice. Often, relations who are gay are just kept outside of all family and relations affairs, such as family get together events. But all too often, this does not work and adults still have their way with their own children. This is an uncomfortable issue, but a real one nonetheless; so much so, that neighborhood spies will even manufacture stories if real circumstances can't be found. No on Earth wants to be labeled a child molester as this can be libel that kills, but far too many go unreported. What is needed is a real treatment to heal these dreadful conditions, not just escalating reactions by jailing and execution.

We have all heard of the tough woman who can handle her own. As a result there is a little reported on husband abuse, simply because the man worth his salt does not want to admit that he was whooped by his woman. As in the case of wife and woman beating, the man will hide it, though not with make-up and sun glasses. The man will excuse his injuries by stating that he got into a fight with one of the guys and lost the fight or that the cuts and bruises resulted from some sporting activity such as football or hockey. When pressed as to whether they want to press charges resulting from the "fight", they refuse citing friendship while the real reason is embarrassment that a big guy was thrashed by a small demure woman. If it does come out that it is the result of domestic violence, this revelation reduces the man's standing with his peers, so he would rather lie about it than tell the truth.

Neighbors often play a tragic role in domestic violence, whether by inciting in family fighting, gossiping, reporting confidential and private information, or by alienating the community against their targets. Neighborhood spies can get landlords to turn against tenants, bosses against employees and so on. In fact, a lot of domestic violence can be triggered by busy body neighbors who have a long to-do list of harassment techniques for one reason or another, whether a grudge or the desire to break up a relationship or to take over one of the partners. It is all about control and some people are control freaks pure and simple. It is a fact of human nature that most people have a secret or two that they would like to keep that way. But the proliferation of spy stores, devices and supplies tells a far different story. They could not exist unless there was a market. In addition, the proliferation of cell phone cameras, Facebook and YouTube means that anyone's story is now public domain. Stories true and fabricated abound for anyone to read and react. All too often there is too little by way of resources for the person, couple or family undergoing spying harassment. This is a form of domestic violence that is often not even heard of or discussed.

Neighborhood busy bodies can ruin sources of income through rumor alone, increase expenses, and hire thugs to beat up family members, ruin cars by loosening wheels or cutting bake lines or many other ways that can cause rigged accidents. How many innocent people die as a result of accidents as non-involved third parties is unknown and hard to calculate. If they have any control over various apartments, they can cut off or turn on heating at inappropriate times. Then there are other methods like telephone harassment and telling of gossip to each partner to arouse suspicion and jealously and possible in-house domestic violence. If a couple does have a verbal fight that looks like it could escalate, suddenly the police arrive at the door asking about a screaming woman after nearly knocking down the door. They never ask about a screaming man. Further, these cases of inter-neighbor domestic violence that is often mental, financial and physical go unreported because it sounds like paranoia and is ignored by the state and there are few resources for recourse, especially for some minority oriented issues. Let us look at a case, but names will not be mentioned to protect the innocent and to avoid further provoking the guilty. This is a true story and it is still ongoing and unresolved.

A certain person who will hereinafter be called "Y" has been engaged in harassing a gay couple, one of who is in a wheel chair due to an earlier, but unrelated violent attack, hereinafter called "W". Y is someone who has been engaged in a campaign of harassment extending for two decades. Over the last few years it has intensified. Y has been involved from a distance until he/she became a neighbor in the early years of the new century. The term he/she is the result of this person being an involuntary sex change early in life and usually but not exclusively takes the male role. At first, the campaign was conducted by an earlier neighbor who died and was replaced by Y and the family. A vicious gossip campaign began that ultimately ended in a 40 percent reduction in income and the preposterous circumstance where the working partner suddenly found himself on "workfare" to support his partner who was originally on handicap assistance. This was the beginning of woes. While the partner was at work, Y would manipulate the heat on and off and this was confirmed by the partner who found the apartment as cold as the outdoors in the depths of winter. There was also constant noise day and night and Y was the one who decided when W and his partner had enough sleep and this was usually short. Sleep deprivation is an acknowledged form of torture and is prohibited under the Geneva Convention under the articles and terms of war. Not only that, the US and Canadian Charter of rights is supposed to offer people protection from cruel and unusual punishment.

A spying and listening campaign was also conducted against W so that there was no privacy. Details that were private were gossiped to the family and relations of W and the result was the total alienation of the family and support against W. To add insult to injury, Y would tap on the wall to let W and his partner know that he was listening in and was signaling agreement when the two were conversing or a certain thing was said in song or the media. The campaign was also conducted "on the street" with cameras in his face, threats, "accidental" and provocative physical assaults and intimidation from unknown agents of Y upon W and his partner. Contacts would be manipulated as to who could become friends, where they would meet and how long. The breaking point came in May of 2007 where W attempted suicide via a drug overdose while his partner was at work, but failed. The partner found him alive and did a crisis intervention that prevented death. The attempt was ridiculed by Y in a published cartoon. Y improved security in the building by fortifying his/her own apartment against potential assault from someone in a wheelchair!

Several months after the suicide attempt W and Y came face to face in a restaurant. At the time, it was not known that these neighborhood bitter enemies were face to face in an orchestrated attempt to set up a fall. It quickly became apparent when Y orchestrated a con theft from W in a public place and then screamed and carried on about being assaulted by W. Y had finances that allowed him/her to hire thugs to make attacks everywhere. Every time when Y communicated, it was apparent that he was privy to information that W and his partner thought were private and unknown by others. Not only that, others that were involved were also briefed.

An interference campaign was also mounted as W is in a wheel chair and this consisted of blocking egress and ingress out of the apartment from the only one entrance there is. W developed a strong desire to be out of the apartment as public places became the only place where privacy could be attained; at least for everything except sex. The interference and constant spying completely cut off sex for long stretches. Under the gag law the existed briefly in the region before it was struck down by the Supreme Court as being unconstitutional, the partner was forbidden by the landlord to speak with any tenant under any circumstance on pain of a $10,000 fine and/or a one year term in prison. This thankfully, never materialized before the law was struck down by the court. There is far more to this story than can be detailed here, but some of the details are blood chilling.

There are many other instances of inter neighbor violence that exist and this is a little acknowledge form of crime. One of the reasons is the sheer difficulty in being able to prove anything unless one has a police officer move in and monitor the goings on. However, this is not likely, so the police tell the people under harassment, mental and psychological acts of cruelty and torture to keep a log. Unfortunately, such a log is not very admissible in a court of law if someone wishes to pursue this costly venue of control. People say move out, but it is difficult owing to lack of finances and suitable locations. Also, there exists the possibility of jumping from one bad situation into another bad one. The number of spy stores and the ready availability of spy devices suggest there is a lot of this going on and most people are not aware of it. We are cautioned to mind what we put on Facebook, MySpace and like internet social networks as "the boss might be reading and may fire you". Neighbor against neighbor violence is more common than some think. Since they don’t actually live with you except in shared homes and to a more limited extent, next door apartments, this type of domestic violence goes largely unacknowledged until someone explodes and kills the perpetrator. This is another form of bullying designed to get others to comply with a script that is written by the bully.

Will compliance in total result in the end of harassment? Well, seeing as wife and husband beating are rife as well as child and senior domestic violence abuse; the answer appears to be no.


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