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The Early Stages of Online Dating, How to Avoid Looking Like a Creep

Updated on March 14, 2018
Eternity Reign profile image

Eternity published her first book in 2013. Since then she has focused on writing short stories and articles. She has a passion for travel.

Are you not getting the outcome you want in the online dating world?

Why did you choose online dating-- is it possible you didn't choose, and online dating chose you? Maybe, you just work to much, and you don’t have the time to get out and socialize. Maybe, you are socially awkward and prefer to connect on your own terms. Maybe, you are just testing the waters, perhaps other dating options haven't worked out in the past. Or, you like the idea of meeting someone far away-- possibly even an entire country away. And maybe, just maybe you are a ‘creep’-- hauled up in your parents basement somewhere at age 35-- hahahaha-- Sorry. That was a joke.

Whatever the reason, no one can deny that online dating has become very popular, and has helped many individuals find love over the years. But, just like any form of dating the early stages are the most crucial for making a real love connection.

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Can’t get anyone to answer your “hello, hi, hey” messages-- tired of the non responses?

So how do you get the responses, and how do you avoid looking like the ‘creep’? Well, they say never judge a book by it’s cover. But if we are being completely honest here, a lot of people judge by first glance-- first appearance. We can’t help but to be visual, that is human nature. So, what is the first visual we notice when reaching out online? That’s right the profile picture. You wouldn’t buy a product online if the image was non existent, out of focus, it looked like an afterthought-- or anything less than professional, Right? The same goes for online dating. In a way we are selling ourselves-- okay that may not be the best term, but we are definitely trying to portray our best self, and our profile image should emit that.

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How can you avoid looking like a online flirty creep?

So, how do you go from ‘hello’, to exchanging numbers, to the meet-up, and possibly the happily ever after (assuming that is the goal)? The answer is simple. Do not come across as the flirty online ‘creep’.

So, here are 5 tips on what not to do.

  1. As mentioned before, have a good profile pic. Your profile picture is extremely important. People will get a first glimpse of who you are before they open the message you’ve sent them, and before they check out the rest of your profile. You don’t want someone deleting your message based off a poorly taken profile pic.

  2. Don’t be to pushy. Nothing comes across more creepy or stalkerish than sending back to back messages before the person has even replied back. Or, maybe they have replied and now you want their phone number or some other contact information. The internet can be a scary place-- a place full of scammers, con artist, stalkers, etc. Respect people’s hesitancy, and take things slow. If a person is not ready to give out any other information, don’t take it personal. They are just being cautious. Don’t push them to hard-- if you do, it could result in getting ignored or maybe even blocked.

  3. Do not call without asking first-- (referring only to the message apps). This is a big no no. Some message apps offer free voice and video calling. This is great, and convenient in so many ways, but calling someone without permission can seem rude and intrusive. Especially if you have the audacity to call more than once. The best thing to do is establish a comfortable text rapport. Then find out the most convenient time to call, because we all have busy schedules, Right?

  4. Do not call to much. Let’s say you’ve texted and talked, and it seems to be going well, and maybe you’re are getting excited. It is still wise to limit you calls throughout the day. In any dating situation smothering a person and not respecting their space is never good. Again, the results will probably not end well in your favor.

  5. Don’t message to much back and forth. You should mirror your response to the sender’s. If someone sends a sensible message, asking you about your day, don’t send a two page paragraph explaining every detail. Leave that for the phone calls. Texting and sharing are great ways to communicate, but that is all-- if you want a pen pal find one and write a letter, but when texting your online companion leave it at that-- just texting.

© 2018 Eternity Reign

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      6 months ago

      As you stated having a nice profile picture is very important.

      Secondly one's profile should be (positive and personable). In other word it should be filled with things you enjoy doing, favorite places to travel, favorite music, movies, and types of food.

      Too often people make the mistake of using all their space to list the things they don't want. "No liars", "No cheaters", "No players".

      This makes them sound as if (they) have a lot of baggage.

      It's not as though a so called "player" who thinks you're "hot" will read those statements and say to himself.

      "Aw snap! She ain't got no love for the players! I guess I had better move on to the next profile." - Seriously???

      Clearly if you don't list something as a "want" it means you don't want it. Reading negativity in any form is a turn off for most people.

      Reality Check

      You are not everyone's type!

      There are two basic forms of rejection.

      1. Direct rejection: Someone lets you know they're not interested.

      2. Indirect rejection: They ignore your flirts or pass up your profile.

      Many of these sites will show you who "looked at your profile" this does not mean the person wants to be contacted by you!

      All it means is your photo caught their eye and so they clicked on your profile. After reading whatever it said or closely examining your photo they decided to "pass" which is why they didn't message you!

      If someone looks at your profile and doesn't reach out it's a rejection.

      Online dating sites and apps are a tool for meeting (new) people.

      You are responsible for having your own mate selection/screening process and "must haves list". Much like a fork is a tool for eating. One can eat a garden salad or a slice of double fudge chocolate cake. However no obese person would ever blame their fork for their weight gain! And yet people who have bad dating experiences with those they met online will blame the whole online dating industry.

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our own mate selection process/must haves list.

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

      Nothing happens until (you) say "yes" to someone!

      If anyone is experiencing one bad dating relationship after another it's probably time for them to reexamine their mate selection process. The only thing all of your failed relationships have in common is (you).

      Last but not least don't put the cart before the horse!

      Too many people will state on their profile they're looking to get married, settle down, or have a "serious relationship".

      Essentially they're chasing after a "relationship/marriage status".

      I've heard of women proclaiming they were "ready to get married" and they didn't even have a boyfriend! That's scary!

      In an ideal world (the PERSON) you are dating should be the reason why you're suddenly having thoughts about being "exclusive" or marriage. There's something "special" about (him or her)!

      The goal is to find "the right one" not "the next one".

      Dating whether it's online or offline is about meeting (new people) and determining if there is any chemistry and compatibility.

      If there is you both decide to spend more time together, go out on more dates, and allow things to (evolve) over time.

      These days a lot of people want to (rush) into exclusive relationships and marriages. One gets the sense they actually HATE dating! Not long ago I saw the following quote online:

      "Love is like a fart: If you have to force it; it's probably sh*t!"

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