- Gender and Relationships
The important secrets of Attracting Women
It's time to take a look at the Holy Grail of attraction: what REALLY makes a female want you. And yes, we really are going to take a stab at this - possibly the most universal of ALL questions about women - right here and now. What behaviors can YOU implement that are known to make the women that YOU DESIRE MOST want you?
First of all, it's time for a small but important distinction. Be aware: there is a difference between LIKING and WANTING. A woman can like you perfectly fine, and still not be ATTRACTED to you. (Hint: this is called
Unfortunately, a lot of guys TRY to create 'attraction', when in fact, what they're ACTUALLY doing is creating FRIENDSHIP. Many guys attempt to do things for a woman which (he thinks) will make her want him but which, in actual fact, do nothing but broadcast his COMPLETE lack of perceived control over the situation, his DESPERATION to effect a certain 'end', and his cluelessness about 'how attraction works'.
Such men include those who preface a conversation with a female counterpart with the words, 'Hey, can I buy you a drink?' and 'You're pretty' as well as guys who assume the 'therapist' role (hearing all about the ex, the guys who've 'done her wrong', and about the guy she's currently seeing - even how great the sex is) as well as guys who ROLL OVER and play 'dead' for a woman (being the chauffeur, buying her stuff, putting up with weird behavior and temper tantrums, and generally pandering to the idea that SHE is in control and YOU are supplicating to her.)
Fortunately, there are many women out there who have too much self-respect, compassion, and BETTER OPTIONS available than to encourage that kind of behavior from men but on the other, less-fortunate hand, such women DO exist who WILL accept (and in fact, blatantly orchestrate) such behavior... some, who even EXPECT IT.
Such women are toxic, and you would do well to avoid all interactions with them. Chase after such women, and not only will they bring you down, but they'll damage your chances with other, BETTER women.
There is an important lesson here: if you want to make a woman WANT you, you have got to be in control of yourself, and not seem DESPERATE.
The easiest way not to seem desperate is, of course, to actually NOT BE desperate. And the best way to genuinely avoid desperation is to actually
get 'out there' and create yourself some OPTIONS when it comes to women and dating.
If you ever catch yourself feeling as though you'd 'do anything' for a woman just to have her hang around, she will SENSE IT and be repelled.
Why? Because women don't like weak, needy men who are OK with receiving poor treatment simply to bask in her presence.
Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely. This absolutely applies to WOMEN so STOP GIVING HER ALL THE POWER!
Lesson one: don't give away your power. Don't supplicate. Don't beg. Don't be desperate. For now, put your attention on the necessity of
not 'faking' anything (i.e. not having to PRETEND not to be needy or desperate, while all along your heart's hammering away and your palms are sweating because this is Your Big Chance) ... and of actually HAVING OPTIONS.
A few solid guidelines:
- Don't be 'on call' for her.
- Don't drop everything for her.
- Don't wait for her to validate you.
- Don't offer to purchase anything or expend
any resources in order to talk to her or see her.
(If taking girls out is something you already do
for fun, then fine. But if you're doing it because
you want her to 'like you', then consider that
your first red flag and drop that behavior like a
- Don't be the one she calls ONLY when she
- Be a man, not a puppy-dog.
But enough with the doom and gloom. So now you
know how to make a woman 'like' you as opposed to
'want' you ...
... so how do you flip the coin? How do you make
her WANT YOU?
Is it looks?
Is it wealth?
Is it confidence?
Is it power?
All those things are part of it, but they're not THE SINGLE MOST FUNDAMENTAL THING. I want you to think deeper than what everyone
else is telling you. Think deeper than 'conventional wisdom.'
What is the single most fundamental thing that a woman wants in a sexual partner? Think about it... What's the one thing she HAS to have?
I can tell you straight off that it isn't looks. There are plenty of average-looking guys with beautiful women in their lives.
And the best women don't tend to be overly impressed by wealth.
Confidence is definitely a big one, but it's still not ESSENTIAL a full 100% of the time, with 100% of women. so WHAT IS IT? Here goes: the MOST important thing that a woman needs in order to WANT YOU is that you are a MAN.
That you know what it means to be a man that you're OK with it ... that you don't APOLOGIZE for it that you have the strength to BE it ... and
that you ARE it, through and through, 100% congruence ... meaning, there's no 'act' here. (Because women can smell FALSITY.)
Women are attracted to MEN, plain and simple. A MAN is someone who's different from her in every way. A MAN is someone who has integrity, knows who he is, and knows where he's going. A MAN is someone that a woman can trust to guide her and lead her into a great future. A MAN is someone who has the strength to let her be her most feminine self without ever making
her feel that SHE'S the one who's going to have to 'carry' them both. Who can let her know that everything's going to be OK. Who's not fazed by
her femininity. Who supports her EMOTIONALLY, not just MATERIALLY. Who validates HER instead of looking TO her for validation.
Here's what 'being a man' ISN'T:
Trying to be her 'friend' in order to come in 'under the radar'. Paying for attention, affection, or conversation. Disguising your truth in order to 'create an impression.' (For example, hanging out in the VIP
lounge and flashing your money-clip around in order to get 'high-class' females, when it's actually beyond your means to maintain.)
Freaking out when she reacts emotionally to a situation. Relying on her for validation and approval. Looking to her for decisions and opinions.
A woman will go to other women to share feelings, gossip, and talk about the neighbors. She'll go to a MAN for her other needs. She'll go
to a MAN when she wants to lean on someone strong. She'll go to a MAN when she wants to let loose and go wild.
A woman wants a man because he's a MAN not because he's 'just like her' or 'just like a friend'. I want you to get this concept, because it's THAT important.