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The issue with gay marriage - a new never-ending debate?

Updated on March 4, 2012
Gay marriage - will it stand the test of time?
Gay marriage - will it stand the test of time? | Source

Nearly every day we come across some article, debates, protests about gay marriage. I have not counted for how many years it's been an issue by now. I am actually beginning to wonder if this will be the next "never ending" issue just like abortion. It would not surprise me, because just like abortion it is a widely spread topic affecting religion and personal intimate feeling about it. Whenever a topic goes that close hand in hand with law and individual - we are divided and never able to close the gap.

Let me start with a very simple standpoint of mine. I don't mind people of same gender getting married, as long as it does not affect me and my life. Would it be a choice for me? Absolutely not. For me personally the only acceptable marriage would be that of a man and a woman. It is for once the way I grew up and I say carefully the bible supports it stronger. I have to admit I have not studied the Bible in very detail and so I am not willing to debate on the religious issue too much, but as far as I can see - the bible clearly supports the relationship of a man and a woman, to become a family and to have children. And we have plenty of work to do to get back to better marriages and less divorces.

Now gay marriage, like so many "new age" generation developments, that might be the best way to describe it from my point of view, because no generation has ever questions so many things, changed so many things since I grew up - at least not that I remember. It seems there is a provoking generation on every issue there is.

I have no medical degree to have an in dept understanding of gay marriage, simplest way to see it, is that there is affection between the same gender. The medical reasoning is not that important I think, I think it is rather to make it more complicated. There is just one medical aspect - children. They cannot be brought into those marriages the natural way like it happens in a marriage between a man and a woman. Still, even there in some cases, where health reasons make it impossible to conceive - they find other ways to make the dream come true.

Unfortunately, we don't have enough experience on this arrangement of marriage, it has not been around for long enough, so that we have statistics of lasting marriages, divorces among gay marriages, how the outcome of those children living and growing up in a gay marriage are. So it still has to stand the test of time. Maybe it is just more of a trial than a real thing in the long run - a man-made idea, tested and turned out to be wrong and not working. Maybe it will proof stability and will be something very natural to our children as a part of their lives, and they don't even discuss it....Remember the first computers? They thought they would never make it into any household. Is there any household without a computer now?

Nobody can tell the future, yet. Should we judge and rule over gay marriage? Hard to tell. First of all it invades the current law in many states and some states allow it, others don't....totally mixed. Why shall laws forbid this individual desire? It is like an invasion in private matters to me. I feel, as long as gays don't bother me or try to convince me of their idea - I don't mind. They have to judge their own lives and live it. I have no right to judge - God will judge and either accept or not accept it. I can have my own mind and opinion, but I have no right to judge on this topic. How do I know how a gay is really feeling inside - if I never will be able to share this feeling? This topic is to young to see the outcome in the long run as well.

What I don't like is that gay people try to gain way too much attention everywhere. It sometimes seems like they want to get all attention they can get. Why? Just because it is a newer thing. But do it on your own and don't involve the whole world in it! It won't change the torn opinion but rather makes it worse. People feel more and more against gays just because they stir all kind of attention all the time and everywhere. Keep the profile a little lower and act more normal and don't try to stand out so much, treat yourself more like a normal person with the only tendency towards same gender feelings. You are no more and no less.

Why does the public feel so offended by gay marriage? Well, because of the above mentioned attention seeking behavior and they feel annoyed by making it an issue for every household, while it is not! How much does it affect your life, when your neighbor is a gay couple? Well, you can make it an issue mentally - thinking and believing that living next door to a gay couple could affect you. It really doesn't. You have your life and they have theirs. It's a personal choice, but it does not affect your personal life.

If it happens to be yours on who chooses gay marriage, it might affect you more. Is it still your son? I would say so. You have the choice to still see him as your son or not, but it has less to do with his choice of life, but much more the way you judge his personal decision for his own life. Will it be easy to accept it? I don't know and I agree that it might be something that needs time - but does it change your personal life with your partner? I think the issue is separating the situation from your own personal life.

We all have the right to make choices, a God given pleasure or duty. We have the free choice to do right or wrong, we do have the free choice of how to lead our lives. But we have no right to judge when the choices are not in agreement with our own ideas. God will take care of that. Will it stand the test of time? We will have to wait a few years to have an answer for that?

What about children growing up in gay marriages? I honestly have my concerns, because they will not get to see the standard marriage and eventually get an idea of relationship of same sex, getting confused when they don't feel that way. How will they talk to their parents one day when they feel strongly towards the traditional relationship? Where will they get advice from how a traditional relationship works? Seeing how gay couple fight for their rights I have the feeling that they will avoid accepting the standards...

I also have the concern when it comes to raising a child, because there are such critical differences in the way a woman and a man raises a child, plays with it etc. Usually you find the child having tendencies towards the mother to do certain things with her, to talk to her about certain things, but they go to the father for other things, simply because of their differences not only in the sexual way, but also in the thinking and feeling.

We all know the huge differences about woman and men and why we have so many issues understanding each other. There are differences for a purpose, differences for a benefit - to blend and be one more ideal by marriage, each partner bringing their share into this unity. How will gay couples bring this into the life of a child growing up, when both parents are of the same gender? A man can never feel and think like a woman, and the other way around is impossible as well - something that will never change. There is a good reason why two sexes exist, so very different, but yet in need of each other.


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    • beadreamer247 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Zephyrhills, FL

      Hi Cherlame,

      thank you for your comments. I did look up the study you mentioned above. It is a very sparse first study of 154 women in 84 families who. Honestly I don't feel that this is not a reliable research at this point to really make a strong statement - but I am not downplaying it.

      I believe some of the psychological and behavioral differences can be explained easily - there are not two different sexes in the household to overcome differences, so usually less disagreement, misunderstanding etc. I am not sure about the outcome though when it comes to those kids, who don't come across gender based issues based on the differences - how will they learn to handle them?

      Honestly, I even wonder if some choose a gay relationship in order to escape the gender issues of misunderstanding and differences in order to have an "easier" relationship. Cross gender relationships are more complicated when it comes to these issues.

      The research study you mentioned goes back to 1986 - 24 years and 84 families - I would not draw too much conclusion from it at this time...For me it is not solid enough research. Again I am not ignoring it and find it actually interesting.

    • cherlame profile image


      6 years ago from Seattle

      I think you've definitely generalized the gay population when you claim that they are attention seeking.

      Also, according to a 2010 study by Nanette Gartrell and Henry Bos which was published in journal, Pediatrics found that "children in lesbian homes scored higher than kids in straight families on some psychological measures of self-esteem and confidence, did better academically and were less likely to have behavioral problems, such as rule-breaking and aggression".

      There are also many other research studies on children in gay or lesbian households which assert that the sexual orientation of moms or dads has no impact on their kids' upbringing in terms of sexuality, gender identity, or any other aspect of their psychological and emotional development.

      And the best home is not that of either traditional parents or same-sex parents but rather, those with two parents.


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