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The need to argue

Updated on October 2, 2015

We always want to prove our point in a conversation like it’s some kind of a competition and we can’t risk losing. Proving our point is so damn important. We keep thinking about an argument hours after it occurred and wish that we could have gotten another chance to say the things we didn’t. Although it doesn’t make any difference because adding some flaming truth wouldn’t make it get any better. An argument is an is just a meaningless conversation between two people who think differently or are thinking differently at the particular time and nothing can make them look at it the same way. Arguments do however hold a great importance as they cause an urge to prove the other person wrong. And the urge is the reason of a whole lot of misunderstanding and miscommunication. Arguments can therefore be greatly destructive for both parties.

Who and what causes them

So the question is, is an argument necessary in all situations? Sounds like a stupid thing to ask. Obviously it isn’t. But is it always unnecessary though? There may be someone’s life depending on it. Sometimes there isn’t a way other than to argue. It is said that that quiet people are more witty and the less you speak, the more you observe. But quiet people are sometimes the ones contributing to the beginning of an argument in very smart way and they might even be the ones to flare them. And the people who argue a lot are usually the ones who are not very good with words and their way of trying to prove a point usually creates a messy situation. The thing about an arguments is that the more we get out of line, the more we think we’re closer to winning. We just feel like making more points for ourselves in the conversation and we don’t even listen to half the words the other person says. Because our head is swirling with the words we ought to say next.

The most common cases

An argument between two people commonly takes place because of the following reasons:

  • One person is smarter of the two (and he knows it)
  • One of them thinks he ought to be the one to straighten out other’s mannerism
  • The two people are in a close relationship

In the first case the person trying to start an argument know he’d win. So he makes a point of trying his best to break the other one’s pride and composure just to prove he’s something. The other one only keeps up because he is afraid to lose, but then who isn’t? There is no meaning in such an argument and whenever you come across this this kind you should try to end it as best as you can.

The second kind is very, very common. There are people who are always, always there to show you the right way of doing things. Why do they need to do that, even they don’t know. It’s just that they think they are being straight forward. They feel the urging need to tell you the truth about yourself, show you how it’s done and point out your quirks.

The third case is the most common one. People learn to love each other by first seeing the best of the other. But they wouldn’t know what it would be like if they disagree, it can only be learned by time. We just can’t go on without making them understand because they are supposed to understand. In cases relationships just end like they never were, sometimes it’s only a text message. It’s because we didn’t expect to see the other side of them. There are people to whom we can be honest and tell them what we feel, like our parents. But even to them, we should try to explain our anger rather than arguing. Because in this case we always, always regret if we get out of line. Sometimes we just feel we can get everything out on them, make them share our burden. They may not tell you it bothers them, but it is so unfair. It happens naturally sometimes, but you can always apologize. Apologizing after all, is easier than making a mistake. But relationships are never perfect. I’d rather say that learning to love the imperfections is perhaps what makes them perfect.

Avoiding an argument/ apologizing

But is it alright to argue? It’s not a good idea to make other understand by forcing your view. Being silent and letting it go is a lot harder, but everyone can learn to do it if we try. It might not always make us feel better, but why would we always want for ourselves to feel better, right? Besides the silent treatment is sometimes a lot more effective, even if we may not think so at the time.

P.S..took inspiration from recent hub by another hubber and tried to be as original as i can.. :)


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    • hajra bajwa profile imageAUTHOR

      Hajra Bajwa 

      3 years ago from Pakistan


    • Rafia hassan profile image

      Rafia Hassan 

      3 years ago from Faisalabad

      Totally Agreed


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