- Gender and Relationships
The reason he never called you back
He was the half man....
Everywhere you look on Web there's a spider holding instructions to women on how to get a man, how to keep a man, even how to lose a man, from the signs that he's just not that into you to how to deal with the fact that he's just not that into you. Sure, women have options as well. However, men exercise this choice more than Nicki Minaj changes her personality (I love you Nicki!!) Women are the ones that are majorly left confused after a great date or a 5 hour long conversation, wondering just what the hell did we do wrong. If we didn't blame ourselves, these dating sites wouldn't exist. They thrive on our vulnerablilty.
The truth is... It's not us. No, really its not. Simple, I know, and many of us have figured this out, but just as many of us haven't and are still trying to fix ourselves for a guy. Unless you've proposed to him on the first date or bruised his flesh with lighthearted yet violent flirting, then the problem is not with you. You are a beautiful woman. The problem is his lack of communication.
See, men and women's brains are the same except for a few things.. a few very small differences. Men are better at spatial tasks (not math or reasoning. girls get better scores on these subjects yet boys are socialized into them) while women are better at verbal and non verbal communication. Girls learn to speak earlier than boys and therefore have a larger vocabulary, are better readers, and less likely to develop dyslexia (this is what psychology majors are learning while the public doubts us).
So the reason he is not calling you back after a first date or first kiss, or sex is not because you did something wrong. It's not because you are unattractive or not enough, no. It's because he is terrible at actually communicating to you what he thinks and feels afterwards, so he just doesn't say anything.......
Which is idiotic.
Men: you want to know why women think all men are assholes? It's a no brainer, really. BECAUSE YOU ACT LIKE ASSHOLES! You sleep with us then just disappear. You make us laugh and touch our hearts and then just disappear. You send us mixed signals. You go out on these great dates with us and say you'll call but never do and some how you think you're being a nice guy by doing so..... "because you don't want to hurt our feelings." It hurts more when you are so inconsiderate of our feelings that you don't say anything. If we wanted "nice" they would finish first not last (no offense nice guys but there is a difference between asshole and confident which I'll discuss in a later article). We want honest. We want open and honest communication between us- women and men. If after the first date you're not intrigued... call and respectfully say so. That doesn't make you an asshole. If all you want is sex.. say so before you chat us up for 2 hours about your goals and dreams. Sure you risk rejection, but that doesn't make you an asshole.
Lying makes you an asshole.
Disrespecting us makes you an asshole.
Only thinking of yourself makes you an asshole.
perfroming the disappearing act makes you an asshole, not a magician.
Knowingly leading us on makes you an asshole.
Thinking that a woman is so fragile that she can't take the truth makes you an asshole.
Thinking that a woman is beneath you makes you an asshole.
Putting us down to feel better about yourself makes you an asshole.
It's called self fulfilling prophecy- you behave like an asshole, we think you're an asshole, and then you get pissed when feminists are shouting "riddens to the male species!"
One thing I've learned is that it doesn't matter whether you sleep with a man on the first or third date, how much make up you wear or how tight your jeans fit, how educated or uneducated you are, how ambitious or un ambitious you are, how successful or unsuccessful you are...... Men act the way they do because they think they can and get away with it and then blame their shortcomings on us.
So ladies, don't beat yourself behind a guy... his machismo is what causes him to act like a dirty douche bag. He's also lost in his identity because women are doing what were supposed to be manly things like achieve and become educated. Turns out, those are human being things. And we're much better at it.