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The secret of my married life

Updated on November 11, 2013

During the courtship people behave very well to get a husband or wife. Then after the wedding or after they start living together, the real person shows up. They got a husband or a wife. Now they can stop faking who they really are. After the initial few months or years, the real person comes out.

It is the common problem with the common people that they achieve some very good goal and then no longer after that they slide and go right back to where they were.

How can I keep my marriage alive?

This is the question 99% of married couples asked after they get in to the wedlock. Very often many found it difficult for them to continue together. They seek for separation. I often wondered why they loose interest in their partner very soon after the marriage?

The reason is that they reached a goal. But they don't know how to improve it. We need to make constant effort to improve our marriage. Understand your husband. Try to understand what he expect from you. He needs a wife who understand him. There are lot of things which needs to be shared together. Share your feelings, joy, sorrow etc. with your partner. Give him/her the most you can. Also mind your behavior. Think, how was your behavior during your courtship. Keep that same behavior till the end of your life with your spouse. That is the key to keep the marriage alive.  Also make it a point that both you enjoy the physical relationship every day.  Satisfy his/her physical need so that he/she will not look for another option. Take care of him/her.

Your spouse doesn't need a trouble in his life. Don't be a trouble to you husband or wife. There is a limit for everything. Don't demand too much of time, money, respect or things from him/her. Avoid disturbing your spouse with your won problems or worries. Live and let others live. That should be the attitude. Give him/her whatever you can. Give physical help. Give Money. Give things. There is joy in giving. You may be in the kitchen and sweating, when he wants to kiss you or do some fun with you. Do not stop him. Encourage him and have fun with him. That is life. Who knows when you are ready, he will be in a mood to have fun with you.

Remember this, the greater you encourage love to grow in between you and your spouse, that much it will grow. If you encourage hatred to grow, it will grow beyond your imagination.  Remember the old saying "you will reap what you sow".  Sow good things, you will reap good things. If you do the opposite, you will be reaping bad things.  That is not pleasant. 

Another this is to support him as much as you can.  If you can support him with money do that.  Emotional support is greater than anything else. When your spouse is dried out and tired, encourage him/her.  Don't try to draw more from her/him on that time.  Give him rest.  So that he will rejuvenate his dryness and be a better companion to you. 

Remember there is consequences for every action.  Be ready to face that consequences.  Suppose If you enter into a relationship, there are chances that you will get a child to raise.  There are chances that your spouse do not have enough money to support you.  To enjoy a loving family, you have to sacrifice your time, money, energy etc.  You have to give to your child.  You have to give your wife at the same time you take from her.  It is a two way relationship.  Giving and receiving.  If you are a selfish person, marriage is not for you. 

Marriage is a vow to be faithful to each other.  If you are married, do not seek for another relationship.  Be faithful to your spouse.  All other mistake of your spouse will be forgiven. But when you commit marital unfaithfulness, no one will support you.  Even Jesus allowed divorce for those who are unfaithful to their spouse.  Jesus said "But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery".

Listen what King Solomon say about adultery "Can a man scoop fire  into his lap  without his  clothes being burned?  Can a man  walk on hot coals  without his feet being scorched?  So is he who sleeps with another man's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.  Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.   Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,  though it costs him all the wealth of his house.   But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;  whoever does so destroys himself.   Blows and disgrace are his lot,  and his shame will never be wiped away;  for jealousy arouses a husband's fury, and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.  He will not accept any compensation;  he will refuse the bribe, however great it is."

I love my hubby, because he is such a wonderful husband and also a wonderful father to our two daughters.  He come home every day after his work and spend some time with us.  Children are happy to be with him as he is so lenient to them than me.  He is always support them whenever there is a problem in their life.   Whatever that he has are mine. We love each other. Keeping the marriage alive is a big thing. It is not everybody's cup of tea.


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    • profile image

      Frederick Nyankson 6 years ago

      Marriage was established by God but people marry without consulting God.

    • youcanwin profile image

      youcanwin 7 years ago

      Thanks putz ballard for your visit and comment


    • Putz Ballard profile image

      Putz Ballard 8 years ago

      Great advice! and nice hub, cute baby too.

    • youcanwin profile image

      youcanwin 8 years ago

      Peggy, Congatulations for your 39th wedding anniversary in advance. It is great to know that you are together for the 39 years. I have a long way to reach taht level. We will be having our 11th wedding anniversy next month.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 8 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Sounds as though you have found the formula for a long and successful marriage! We will be enjoying our 39th wedding anniversary next month. Love continues to deepen and grow through the years if one puts forth a bit of effort. It is worth it!