- Gender and Relationships»
The secret of my married life
During the courtship people behave very
well to get a husband or wife. Then after the wedding or after they
start living together, the real person shows up. They got a husband
or a wife. Now they can stop faking who they really are. After the
initial few months or years, the real person comes out.
It is the common problem with the
common people that they achieve some very good goal and then no
longer after that they slide and go right back to where they were.
How can I keep my marriage alive?
This is the question 99% of married
couples asked after they get in to the wedlock. Very often many
found it difficult for them to continue together. They seek for
separation. I often wondered why they loose interest in their
partner very soon after the marriage?
The reason is that they reached a goal. But they don't know how to
improve it. We need to make constant
effort to improve our marriage. Understand your husband. Try to
understand what he expect from you. He needs a wife who understand
him. There are lot of things which needs to be shared together. Share
your feelings, joy, sorrow etc. with your partner. Give
him/her the most you can. Also mind your behavior. Think, how was
your behavior during your courtship. Keep that same behavior till
the end of your life with your spouse. That is the key to keep the
marriage alive. Also make it a point that both you enjoy the physical
relationship every day. Satisfy his/her physical need so that he/she
will not look for another option. Take care of him/her.
Your spouse doesn't need a trouble in
his life. Don't be a trouble to you husband or wife. There is a
limit for everything. Don't demand too much of time, money, respect or
things from him/her. Avoid disturbing your spouse with your won
problems or worries. Live and let others live. That should be the
attitude. Give him/her whatever you can. Give physical help. Give
Money. Give things. There is joy in giving. You may be in the
kitchen and sweating, when he wants to kiss you or do some fun with
you. Do not stop him. Encourage him and have fun with him. That is
life. Who knows when you are ready, he will be in a mood to have
fun with you.
Remember this, the greater you
encourage love to grow in between you and your spouse, that much it
will grow. If you encourage hatred to grow, it will grow beyond
your imagination. Remember the old saying "you will reap what you
sow". Sow good things, you will reap good things. If you do the
opposite, you will be reaping bad things. That is not pleasant.
Another this is to support him as much as you can. If you can
support him with money do that. Emotional support is greater than
anything else. When your spouse is dried out and tired, encourage
him/her. Don't try to draw more from her/him on that time. Give him
rest. So that he will rejuvenate his dryness and be a better companion
Remember there is consequences for every action. Be ready to face
that consequences. Suppose If you enter into a relationship, there are
chances that you will get a child to raise. There are chances that
your spouse do not have enough money to support you. To enjoy a loving
family, you have to sacrifice your time, money, energy etc. You have
to give to your child. You have to give your wife at the same time you
take from her. It is a two way relationship. Giving and receiving.
If you are a selfish person, marriage is not for you.
Marriage is a vow to be faithful to each other. If you are married,
do not seek for another relationship. Be faithful to your spouse. All
other mistake of your spouse will be forgiven. But when you commit
marital unfaithfulness, no one will support you. Even Jesus allowed
divorce for those who are unfaithful to their spouse. Jesus said "But
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital
unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who
marries the divorced woman commits adultery".
I love my hubby, because he is such a wonderful husband and also a wonderful father to our two daughters. He come home every day after his work and spend some time with us. Children are happy to be with him as he is so lenient to them than me. He is always support them whenever there is a problem in their life. Whatever that he has are mine. We love each other. Keeping the marriage alive is a big thing. It is not everybody's cup of tea.