The Stresses of Wedding Planning That No One Tells You
On the road to saying I do...
1. Yes, this is your wedding, but it may start to feel more like it’s your family’s day instead.
From the moment you got engaged, your mom/sister/aunt/grandmother/best friend/future mother-in-law or somebody will tell you what they want to do for your wedding or what you need to do that day, or even traditions you didn’t know existed. At the end of the day, it’s your wedding so stick to what you want, but this is also a day for you to celebrate with your family and friends, so it is okay to do something because your parents wanted you to, etc. Be open, but make sure you are on board for it as well. Don’t do something someone else wants you to do if it doesn’t go along with you and your future hubby’s values.
2. It’s expensive AF
I’m sure you know this already, but it’s really difficult to understand until you are actually in the planning process. Even if you’re planning the smallest wedding, photographers, bands, halls, restaurants, flowers...they are all expensive. So be prepared. And if no one is helping you with finances, it is OK to have a long engagement and be ready for a wedding you want, rather than going into debt for it.
Also, really thing about what is most important to you to spend on your wedding. For me it was photographer, videographer, venue, band/dj and dress. You could have different values. So take away what you don’t need and really research before you make your decision. At first, we didn’t think we needed a videographer, but then we did it because we didn’t really want to regret that decision and it’s a really nice thing to have. It’s up to you, but remember to take your time and do your research when deciding!
3. You and your fiancé are bound to get into a few or more arguments...( I mean hey, it IS stressful, it’s okay)
I’ve heard stories. People almost break up. Maybe it’s a good thing because you get to see how much stress you can handle together as a married couple before you tie the knot. I didn’t think this was a big deal, until me and the fiancé got into an argument ourselves. But hey, we’re stronger than ever now! It is okay, just most importantly. Remember the end goal here. This is a day of you two becoming one and celebrating with loved ones. Try to have fun through the process!
4. You will offend someone.
It’s bound to happen, even if you try not to. A friend/family member will get upset they are not in the bridal party. An acquaintance will get upset because they didn’t get invited. A family member will get offended you didn’t do a family tradition. It is OK. Don’t sweat it. You can explain to them with love, why you couldn’t and then move on. You can’t make everyone happy, and really, it’s not your job to.
5. You will forget the little things.
There are so many things involved with wedding planning, and really, it’s your choice what you want to incorporate in your wedding. A card box. A guest book. Thank you cards for after. Thank you cards for the bridal shower. Something borrowed, something blue? There are so many things involved, you are bound to forget something. This is why a wedding planner could be ideal, but for money saving purposes, talking to friends that have recently gotten married could help! Or even check for forums online, or Facebook groups, there are a lot of ladies out there in the same boat as you who would love to chat about the process which may help you realize you missed somethjng!
6. For some, dress shopping is a piece of cake, for others it’s an annoying headache until you find the one, I think for most it’s the latter...
For me, dress shopping sucked. The first time I was nervous. The 2nd time was nice but I just couldn’t find 1 I loved. The 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th time were UGH...I was over it. And then when I had given up all hope, and was set on making my dress instead, I went to a bridal store for the hell of it, thinking I really won’t find anything, and I finally found my dress.
Also, dresses come in a sample size, so be prepared to either have the dresses all be too big or too small. You have to use clips to see how it would look on you.
7. Everyone will have a say in how you should do things.
Again, you”ll experience this through the whole process. I learned to just let people talk and then do what I wanted. But you could deal with this in whatever way works best for you. :)
8. It gets even more expensive AF because you forgot about some other little things.
Yep. Day of makeup and hair. Bridesmaids gifts. Mother in law gifts. Parents gifts. Husbands gifts. The list goes on.
9.You might not be having fun anymore. But please remember to.
This might not be everyone’s situation, but for a lot of people I’ve spoken to, it was. For me it was! But when I was really hating it, I realized that I was not going to experience this again (hopefully) so I really made the effort to have fun with the process again.
10. Finally, the day goes by so fast.
All this planning and then the day comes and it’s over! So I really recommend you plan to carve out some time for you and your husband to spend alone that day, right after your ceremony, in between cocktail hour and dinner, etc. so you can marinate in your day. It’s a beautiful moment for you to share in the midst of all the fun that day!