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The online dating game. Scream and run, or stay and fight?

Updated on October 12, 2009
Do U know wht I wld do wit my big bar in ur numbrz?
Do U know wht I wld do wit my big bar in ur numbrz?

Online dating has become hugely prevalent over the last few years. At one time, saying that you met your partner online carried with it a huge social stigma. People would look at you as if you had an extra head sprouting out of your shoulders. Nowadays it still carries a social stigma, but everyone's doing it. The official rule seems to be 'don't ask, don't tell', and if that's good enough for the US Military, why then it should certainly be good enough for the rest of us.

It's not enough to just go online and set up a profile though, that won't get you the man or woman of your dreams. It will get you one of two things, depending on which sex you are. If you're a man, it will most likely get you overwhelming silence. If you're a woman, it will get you inundated with pictures of penises, and lewd sexual propositions. The sad fact of the matter is that you could probably go into your local biker bar and be less harassed than you will be if you go online to date, and if you're a guy, there may be more chance of getting some action at your local convent.

That was all very negative wasn't it? Yes. And of course, I am speaking in generalities, which is really the only way to speak. Some people do find the loves of their lives online, but not before they have ploughed through screeds of semi illiterate pornographic text to get there.

The Internet is certainly advantageous in that you don't have to leave your house to go find someone, and people are plentiful online. The question most people ask is how can you tell the difference between someone genuine and someone faking it for fun? Unfortunately you really can't, not at first anyway. Are you talking to the sexy stud of your dreams, or a ten year old who knows how to Google for body builders? Only time will tell.

However, this is not the huge problem it seems to be, the major problem on the Internet is in fact, people actually being themselves. Social morays go out the window, and men who would normally be too scared to approach you are suddenly coming up with charming opening lines which involve vivid (though usually poorly spelt) descriptions of what they would like you to do with their genitalia. It's not pretty, and it just goes to show that being yourself is sometimes a little too much for the rest of the world to handle.

So, scream and run, or stay and fight? It is up to you, just be aware that even greater than the risk of being scammed, is the risk of dealing with hundreds of people who have suddenly lost all sense of decorum and sociability and behave with all the decorum of rabid sex offenders.

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    • KING-B-II profile image

      KING-B-II 

      10 years ago

      sorry bout this one, i sent it twice.

    • KING-B-II profile image

      KING-B-II 

      10 years ago

      ok nice hub, i have a questiion, I started out on iMesh-Bearshare-Bebo-Myspace and others, i met her on #2 and we started talkin, she was bored so i told her some yo mama jokes( im 15 she15) and we started chatin erday. for some months, i told her tht i liked her and she liked me too, she then led me to #3 then #4, all was good until we had a argument, she had some issues with her parents and i tried to help, but i shud hav left her alone, but i didn't, from there we haven't been talking alot, and now she accepts my comments but she doesn't reply, i really wants things to work. oh and 2 years ago(before i went online) i prayed for someone and i 4got bout till now, and some how i think she is the one i prayed for(sorry about the short hand, i wanted to finish ths comment quickly, What are yours views on this?

    • profile image

      Ananta65 

      10 years ago

      Personally I think you should not look at a dating site as the way to find a partner, but rather as a community to find new contacts.

      After all, in real life you don’t look at everybody as a potential soulmate either, do you?

      Putting things into perspective may make it easier to just ignore all the testosteron-filled message and focus on the normal, witty and fun contacts.

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      10 years ago

      Dating can indeed be the proverbial pain in the ass :) And responding to long winded drunken rants, well, it's just what we folks do around here...

    • profile image

      paludism 

      10 years ago

      Yeah, me either. I think that what I was trying to say is that all dating is bullshit. It's merely what you have to do to find someone that you want to fuck for copious amounts of time. If you could graph it, you'd wind up with an asymptotic line that started well below origin. In any case, thanks for taking the time to respond to my long winded drunken rant.

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      10 years ago

      I'm not entirely sure what you just said there Pal, but may you have ultimate success!

    • profile image

      paludism 

      10 years ago

      The only kind of beer I can get behind is one that causes men to be infertile and also entitles women to bus passes. I dare to dream.

      P.S. As noted in a previous comment, the toads are the same, it's only the setting that changes. Unfortunately, it's not just the toads that are the same -- it's women, too. I wish that the setting (that the veritable climate) of the world could be one in which princesses and toads were no longer our modes of being. It's not that I wouldn't kiss a toad, it's that I shouldn't have to. I also shouldn't have to be some stupid princess who's dumb enough to drop her golden ball and worry about it. I know plenty of men who think they have golden balls, and I could give a fuck less if said balls fall down a well. Now I have to kiss it better? Who am I, Donna Reed? We are new now, us girls/women/fems/doms/whatever-you-want-to-call-us, and at this very minute there is a world of opportunity. So what if you drop your ball -- or his for that matter? The point is that (online or otherwise) the privilege of being you belongs solely to you. You GET to be you, and that's about it, sisters. In the end, all you have is yourself, and (frankly) I'd rather face myself with my own two eyes, than through those of a toad. Basically, to steal from the great thief bard, "to thine own self be true" and if you drop a couple of balls here and there, don't worry -- some idiot like me will probably pick them up. If not, let them rot. Fuck it, you only get one shot -- make it a real one.

      As always, don't forget your rubbers and bail money.

      Yer pal,

      Pal

    • ART WITH ASHES profile image

      ART WITH ASHES 

      10 years ago

      I've been trying the online dating thing for almost a year now. I am still friends with the first man I met on My Space. We didn't start out dating. It was just friendly banter.

      I fell in love with a man I met there 5 months ago. Within the past 2 weeks, I realized that it would go no further. That all the "I love you's" and sweet talk were nothing but "SCREEN PLAYS". It was a wonderful time but we all know that the play ends with the final act. It is ended.

      The man I met a year ago has been my friend throughout and we have chatted almost daily about our lives, etc. He is always there to pick me up when I fall and comfort me.

      Now I am faced with a new dilemna. We are getting closer; like we see each other for the first time romantically. He is 20 years my junior and lives on the other side of the country. We have 3000 miles between us. We have been there for each other thru happy times, sad times, sickness and surgeries (all verifiable) and now, we want to be together.

      We have decided to give it another 6 months before either of us makes a major move. He has no problem with the age thing. It bothers me, but less now than before. This online dating stuff is deep. I don't know if it will work for us. Just know that it can't be rushed into.

      I have kissed a lot of toads (figuratively) online. I don't want to miss out on this one being my Prince Charming. Decisions.................

      Thanks, your HUB gives insight..................Lu

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      11 years ago

      My god, patent that idea before someone steals it.

    • tshirtscene profile image

      tshirtscene 

      11 years ago

      If only there were a brand of beer that had sodium pentathol? lol

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      11 years ago

      Sadly this goes to show that spelling is no guarantee of truthfulness. In fact, a recent study showed that the average person can only pick a lie 50% of the time, so it's probably best to kidnap eveyone you know, inject them with sodium pentathol and interrogate them for a few hours, just to be sure they're telling the truth.

    • tshirtscene profile image

      tshirtscene 

      11 years ago

      Great stuff! I have a friend who recently went through an online dating ordeal, I say orde3al because that's exactly what it was. She, as you pointed out thought she was meeting the man of her dreams, charming, (this guy could spell, and spin a line no like no other!), employed (or so we thought, lol), good looking (as far as we know the pictures and cam were real, but who can tell these days?), anyways to cut a long story short, she "fell in love" (I called this e-love of the fibre optic kind), only to be badly BUMMED out, he was not employed, didnt live in the country he said (after fessing up once my said friends was 2 days away from flying over to meet him all the way in the good ole USA ;)), and, heres the clincher, MARRIED with 3 kids.

      Such is life I guess, and has left a very sour taste in my friends mouth and not mention a broken heart. That said I have a few friends who have met their partners online and to this day are very, very happy, so I guess as in rl, to me the basic principle is still the same, it's the setting that has changed.

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