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Thin Line Between Love & Hate

Updated on October 19, 2015

Real Recognize Real


When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. We are living in the day in age where the very people who claim to love you, will anticipate your downfall. Those same people who wish you well to your face, will put you down as soon as you turn your back. Isn’t it ironic how people who do not know you will support you quicker than people who do? It’s the way of life. I can always tell the people who are genuinely happy for me, and those who truly want me to succeed. I read people through their actions. It’s one thing to tell me you love me, but it takes on a different meaning when you show me you love me. After all, actions speak louder than words. The line between love and hate is so thin it’s almost nonexistent. We tend to love people based on their ability to love us back. Once any amount of “shade” is thrown at any point the level of love decreases to an acute form of hate. We see real for what it is and we recognize fake or false flaggers almost instantly. This is why we have to be careful about who we allow in our inner circle. Not everyone will have the pleasure of sharing my company, not everyone should.

Everyone has that one girlfriend who ONLY calls to see how well or poor you are doing. You NEVER hear from this person unless they find out something either good or bad has happened to you. We call these people “sometimey” but a more appropriate term would be phony, or as my mom would say, “Fair weather” friends. As a woman, I know how hectic life can get, especially when you are raising children. However, we make time for the things that are important to us. My friends know how chaotic and busy my days usually are, so I never really get the chance to sit down and talk with them. However when I do, it’s like we never missed a beat. That’s true friendship. That fake mess, is obvious and unwelcomed. I do not congregate with every female that has an open conversation with me. I have lived long enough to know that even your closest friend has the potential to betray you. We can’t go through life not trusting people, or always having our guard up, but we can be wise about who we choose to expose our life to. Everyone who smiles in your face, is not your friend. These women and girls alike are vindictive, messy, and will use any opportunity to throw shade. It’s sad, but true. Those of you who think it’s a lie, are probably the messy ones. Stay as far away from me as possible. I do not entertain certain gossip amongst women, especially if the gossip has something to do with another woman. In my personal opinion, if you’re having an open gossip session about a certain woman and it extends the time frame of ten minutes, you are truly obsessed and more in love with that individual than you think. If I don’t like a person I have nothing to say to them or about them, I just don’t like them…end of story. Women are complex but it isn’t hard to determine who is on your team and who is not…all you have to do is pay attention.

The love/hate relationship between men is most dangerous in our society as a whole. Women are catty and petty, men, however, are ruthless and unforgiving. You cross a man one time and you’re on his bad side for life. He may not openly diss you or put too much emotion into a “beef”, but at any given time he can catch you slipping and that would be the end of life as you know it. The only men who are out here fighting with their fists are in the MMA or WWF. In the real world, where we live…men are actually killing men. The fault might seem minor to some, but in the heart of an unbalanced man disrespect is disrespect, and there is no such thing as turning the other cheek. What’s sad is how hard men hate on other men. As a woman I’ve watched various situations where two male companions were in constant (unconscious) competition with one another. Every time one guy went and copped the new Jordan’s, the other had to follow suit. The same guy starts to talk to a new woman, as soon as he turns his back, the other guy can be found spitting game to the same girl. The low key hate is real. During recent studies of my own, I’ve come to the conclusion that men are far more insecure than women. They constantly measure themselves up to other men to prove how competent they are. The hate stems from the point when they cannot compare or compete on the same level of other guys. Men hardly ever express their love or affection unless it’s to their mother or children. Tell me the last time you heard of one man congratulating another on his accomplishments in life? They claim to love “the guys” but deep down the love only extends so far. We live in the Midwest where there is a hood in every city. Guys who grew up together will turn their gun on each other in a split second for a quick dollar. In Joliet alone, the set up rate is at an all-time high. There is a thin line between love and hate, the moment that line is touched all hell breaks loose and we see firsthand the pure evilness that hate brings.

Going through a divorce showed me just how thin the line between love and hate really is. When I was his wife, I loved him, and had nothing but pleasant things to say about him. When he left me for another woman that love quickly dissipated and turned into extreme disgust. He was no longer the strong loving husband when he betrayed me. Turns out I had been married to a man who secretly wished for, and actually waited for my demise. I shared all of my secrets fears, and insecurities with him over the last 6 years… and you know what he did? Used each and every one of them to try to tear me down. The low key hate is real. All the love I had in my heart for this man was replaced with repulsion. Not only because he left me for another woman, but because our love was supposed to be the most sacred of its kind. If he was willing to betray me for the sake of lust, how would I trust him to make a lifesaving decision for me? It’s always more to a story than what is portrayed, but facts are facts. This is life, everything changes with time, and anything can be replaced. I know better than to ignore the obvious which I why stick to what’s real. These hoes ain’t loyal and that’s all there is to it.

If I love you, I will tell you that I love you. If I don’t, one would never know. That’s the beauty of the invisible line between love and hate. You don’t necessarily have to expose your true dislike for another individual if you aren’t moved to do so. One thing I will never do is pretend to love someone but secretly hate them and wait for their demise. Nothing is more dangerous than a smiling friendly foe! These types of people are unpredictable and simply cannot be trusted. Words take flight quicker than a thought. A thought has no life, it cannot be determined by simply looking into ones face (unless you’re a psychic). Words however, speak volumes, once they leave your mouth, it can’t be undone you can’t take it back. Pay attention to what people say to you when they speak to you, then match it up to how they treat you. If the two doesn’t balance out you may have a “frenemy” on your hands; beware. I respect a person who is honest about their feelings, what I can’t respect is a person who outwardly shows “love” but inwardly harbors hate.

There is a thin line between love and hate, & it doesn’t take much for a person to be on the other side of that line. Recognizing the difference is essential to survival in our society. Everyone who smiles in your face does not have your best interest at heart. I know personally that the people closest to you will be the very ones to stab you in your back and leave you for dead. Its life, we live and we learn. It is unreasonable to believe that everyone will love you simply because you’re a nice person. In fact, people will hate you for being nice!! I’ve dealt with both sides of the line and I know this to be true! You don’t have to like let alone love everyone you meet in life, that’s not how any of this goes. There will be people who you can’t stand just because they chew loud. My point is recognizing the difference between love and hate, and knowing it doesn’t take much to be on the opposite side. They say Knowledge is power, and ignorance is bliss. Which would u rather be powerful or blissful?? My advice would be to play close attention to the people in your life, family and friends alike. For it is better to be aware, than unaware. No one is off limits when it comes to love and hate, believe that! You know I only say it because I’m truly genuine…until next time…PEACE!

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    • IWriteyouRead profile imageAUTHOR

      Kristina Riddle 

      2 years ago from Joliet, Il

      Very insightful!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      2 years ago

      I believe it's important to acknowledge there is no such thing as "unconditional love" with the possible exception of a mother's love an God's love. The rest us have "deal breakers" and "boundaries" that if crossed will change how we feel about that individual.

      In fact I'd say people who don't have "deal breakers" don't love themselves! Anyone who would allow themselves to be taken advantage of, verbally/physically abused, cheated on, ripped off financially, emotionally/physically neglected is probably someone who needs help.

      Having said that I believe the true opposite of love is "indifference".

      Anger is the Mask that Hurt wears....

      The only people who can truly hurt you are those you (care) about. If they mean nothing to you than nothing they say or do stays with you.

      Hating someone means you're still "emotionally invested". Having little or nothing to do with them while enjoying your life with others is the best revenge. You can't have peace of mind if you "hate" someone.

      Indifference on the other hand is viewing them as total stranger with no history of ever been connected to you. There is no emotional investment.

      Lastly there is no universal definition of love.

      Each of us has our won "litmus test" of what love should look an feel like. Oftentimes it comes down to finding someone who (naturally) loves us the way (we) want, hope, and expect to be loved. For some people it's about having their mate act as (they) would and being reciprocal in words and deeds.

      It's a thin line between love and hate because they're both emotions.

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