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- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
Things A Woman Needs From A Man
A Call To Men
Okay, men. Listen up and listen good. Your a husband or your that one special man in your girl's life. You have a chance to either be her hero and her lover or her demise. Which do you choose? Of course you choose to be the good in her life and not the bad, but yet you wonder how it is that she still isn't happy or she gets frustrated with life and even you so easily. I have been the woman, so I can relate some things that I have found that women NEED from you. Women want a lot of things, as I'm sure you know, but we absolutely have to have certain things. I am going to try to name a few of these things that are desperately needed by your girl. What you choose to do with it is your business but if you are smart you should at least try it and see how it works out for you. It certainly wouldn't hurt. Buckle up your seats gentlemen, here we go.
First things first. Your girl needs time. There are different kinds of time that she needs. She needs your time first and foremost. She needs you to stop everything you are doing and pay attention to her and her wants and desires. She needs you to put down your paperwork, hammer, calculator, or whatever it is that you do and just be hers alone. She desperately needs this time without distractions on a regular basis. I don't mean once a month men! Try at least once a week and if you can tell she is frustrated and edgy one day she might just need that again in the same week. Don't be stingy with your time! I know and she knows that there are bills to be paid and work to be done but sometimes just being together is much more important. After all she is who you work to care for and if she is gone it is all for nothing. She needs quality time. Going out to dinner and talking is great but don't do just that every time you have alone time together. That will get stale, old, and boring after a while. Do something fun! Try out new things. Go dancing, go to an arcade and try to best each other at games, go for a long walk in the woods, go skiing, there are so many things you can do together that is fun and adventurous that will build your relationship and create wonderful memories.
Besides your time she also needs her time. This is her time to be alone, her time to get out and spread her wings and enjoy doing things that she loves without feeling pressured by anyone. So if that means you stay home with the kids so she can go out and unwind or you have to hire a babysitter then do it. Your girl's emotional health will be helped in so many ways just by this little act of kindness. I know as a mom that had 90% of the care of the kids everyday that we as mom's need this time away. If your girl doesn't get that time, before long she's pulling her hair out, frustrated, and snapping at everyone and everything and nobody likes that. Then she feels guilty for being emotionally a wreck which just adds to the problem. She needs you to come in and notice that she needs help and to come to her rescue. She doesn't need you to go sit on the couch and turn on the t.v. or video games while the kids are crying or fighting and act like nothing is going on. She needs you to say, "honey, you look stressed, go out and have some fun." Hand her some money, give her a kiss, and let her go and be happy about it. One thing I've noticed is that when a man gives a woman time or money to go out, many times he is begrudging about it. He doesn't really want to do it, he just does it because he feels that is the only way to make her calm down. Do NOT be this way men! This is bad! You need to be her supporter, and if she feels her supporter really doesn't want to help her that will only make her feel even more guilty or angry for needing that help. Maybe your girl doesn't want to go out, there are other things you can do right there at home to help her out. Offer to watch the kids, make dinner, or do the dishes so that she can go relax with a book. Make her a hot bubble bath and play some calming music. Let her nerves and her emotions have some downtime. Men, you were given brains for a great reason. One of those reason's is to use it to come up with good ideas to ease the load on your stressed out wife.
How Often Do You Have Quality Time With Your Girl?
This is a very important thing. While giving your time and making sure she has her time both show love, there are other ways to do this as well. A woman can tell if you love her or not. A woman can tell if you just do things to appease her so she isn't bothering you or if you actually genuinely care about her. Do not be the man that does kind things for his girl simply to get her off your back. If you walk in a room and see your girl washing dishes or playing with the kids or doing whatever it is that she does and you don't want to immediately walk over and kiss her neck or caress her arm something is wrong! You should want to touch her, you should want to make sure she is happy and that things are going well for her. Observe her. You will be able to read her expressions or body language, and in doing so you can usually determine if she is frustrated, or calm, or happy, or sad, etc. Take the time and the care to think about her. She needs this type of love as well as intimate love. Don't just go to the bedroom and do your thing and go to sleep. Really guys? That is all that love making is to you? Enjoy it. Try new things, find out what she likes and I promise you that you will not regret it. Awaken her desires. Be the lover that she always wanted.
Encouragement from you is like balm on a wound, and is something that she will not thrive without. Hopefully by now you know what she is interested in. You know what her dreams are and the things that really make her tick. These are the things that she needs your encouragement on. Help her to achieve these dreams by any means possible. If she has always wanted to learn how to sew, then go out and buy her a sewing machine and supplies. Find someone who will give her lessons on how to do it if need be. If her interest is in helping animals then encourage her to become an animal foster or to volunteer at a local animal shelter. No matter what her interest is in there are ways that you can encourage her. Give her the tools she needs to do it and the encouragement to do it. Let her know that you believe in her skills and even if it doesn't work out that you still are there for the next interest that comes up. Her interests will change over the years so don't expect her to stay rooted to one thing for the rest of her life. Encourage her in all of her endeavors and she will see you as her dream-maker!
I've already pointed out many ways that you can help her. I am going to add to this just a little bit. She knows that you work hard all day and she might work hard all day too, whether at her own job or at home with the house and kids. She would appreciate any help that you can give when you get home from work. Some women feel guilty for asking their husband to help do things around the house or fix a leaky pipe or whatever it may be, when he gets home. She knows you have worked hard already and may feel bad about asking you to help, but take the initiative. If it has been a long day for you then don't do much but consider that it may have been a long day for her as well. Cleaning things up together or getting kids to bed together really does lessen the load for both of you in a shorter amount of time. If there is something broken or not working properly that you know she has no idea how to fix, then fix it. It might take some time, you might get dirty, but do it. Especially if it is something she needs to just function on a daily basis. Do not procrastinate in fixing it. Just like you need certain things at your job to make things go smoothly, she needs certain things (if she's at home) to make her day go smoothly too.
Now Do It
This is the part where I encourage you men to just get out there and do it. Be your partner's hero. Be the everything that she needs. You will have a happier, well-rounded woman on your hands and that in turn will help you to be happy. Happy women are a joy to be around. They laugh, they smile, they have humor and whit, they flirt with you and are much better at love-making. So stop wasting your time thinking only about yourself or not doing anything at all and show her how much you love and appreciate her. She can walk out the door any time she wants and the minute you think that she won't she will surprise you, if you do not make sure she has the things that she needs. Love her with everything that you have!