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Things Men Want Women to Lie About

Updated on April 14, 2011

Yes, the title says what you think it says. And yes, men do want women to lie about certain things. Ok, maybe exaggerate, embellish and omit are better terms... same thing, as far as I'm concerned. The point is, they don't want to know the entire truth, because the entire truth could really mess with their heads.

Oh, men will tell you they don't care about some of these things; don't believe it, sister. The male ego is just as fragile as yours, and, while they do take some things incredibly well, these are not among them. No, I do not recommend giving them truthful answers about these matters, unless the truth happens to be extremely flattering to them.

That doesn't mean you should tell the most absurd lie you can come up with -- it still needs to be said with a straight face. So easy does it! You don't want him starting to wonder whether or not you've been faking other things, as well.

Are things... uh...big enough.

Fortunately, if he has the hoo-haz to ask you this one (no pun intended) he likely already believes it IS big enough, and then some. If it isn't, it should be pretty easy to convince him that it is. This is one of those times when telling him the truth (IF it isn't) is not going to get you anywhere anyway. Apart from maybe the living room sofa for the next few nights.

Is he the best you've ever had.

This should be obvious, but some women will actually tell their man that Romeo was better. They do this in hopes of inspiring him to improve. Don't do it. Just don't do it. Best case scenario, you're looking at male performance anxiety for a long time. Worst, you're looking at having to let him prove he's the best -- 5, 6, or 7 times a day.

Do you like his family.

Maybe you love his family. Maybe his mother is the best woman on earth. Then again, maybe she's the devil incarnate. If he isn't capable of true objectivity, and if he thinks his mother is perfect, you are going to put him between a rock and a hard place. Unless you're seeing her everyday, and unless she's doing terrible things that affect you, don't tell him this kind of thing until you know you're relationship is solid. If you tell a man his mother sucks, he's likely to picture his future with you as being a nagfest or bitchfest, or not being able to see mommy when he wants to.

How many men you've slept with.

I don't care how forward thinking he is -- unless the number is 1, he doesn't really want to know. Tell him one or two, and leave it at that. And I do mean leave it! A man who doesn't want to know will not push you to answer in more detail.

You think his best friend, brother or whoever is hot.

Do not plant this seed in your man's head. Just don't do it. Even if the friend flirts with you. Even if your man says he'd be into that kind of thing. Don't take the chance. Once you say something like that, it never really clears the air.


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