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Things To Remember When Dealing With a Backstabbing Friend

Updated on March 20, 2011

It is very heart-breaking to discover a friend you have trusted, has been backstabbing you. You won’t even know how to get over it. At times, vengeance is the thing that comes first in your mind. However, this kind of mind-set will not be very helpful on your part in the long run. You have to realize that even though you are the aggrieved party in this situation, but still, you need to face the situation in a more decent way.

In addition, if you are just so overwhelmed with what you have discovered, hence, you have no idea on how to deal with a backstabbing friend, I hope the following things will help you out in dealing with this kind of person.

First off, you really need to know first if what you have heard and discovered is true. If the person who told you that you’ve been backstabbed is very reliable, then that’s the time you make your first move. If everything has been confirmed that she really was talking bad things behind your back, the very first thing that you should do is talk to her, but don’t ever mention who told you this. Ask her what motivated her to say such bad things to you. If there were things that you’ve said or done to her that resulted her to backstab you, and as much as possible be calm when you’re speaking with her. Listen to every word she utters since this will give you an idea if what went wrong, why she has the courage to risk the friendship she has with you, and if she’s telling the truth or if she’s sincerely saying sorry to you. Basically, just give her time to say her piece, listen to what she has to say.

After you heard everything she had to say, and then tell her what is exactly in your mind and what was your exact feeling the moment you’ve discovered that she was a backstabbing friend. Let her know what is in your heart, for her to feel how painful it is, and for her to realize that regardless of what her reasons were for doing such thing, but still there’s no valid reason at all for her to backstab a friend, and it is the most painful thing that she can do to a friend.

At times, to realize that a friend had betrayed you is really hard to accept. You won’t even believe that she is capable of doing such thing, thus, making it hard for you to move on. However, time heals all wounds. In God’s perfect time, you’ll be able to forgive and forget what was happened, that if ever you happen to bump into her again, it’ll not be that hard for you to face her once more. Wherein she’ll be able to say how sorry she was for all the bad things she had done. And if ever you’ll see the repentance in her, it’s up to you if you are still willing to give her another chance and if you’re still open about the possibility of starting a friendship with her all over again.

Therefore, encountering a person like this will truly serve as a wake-up call, and a lesson for us that not all people we meet along the way will turn out to be a real friend in the end. That’s why we have to be very careful in choosing a person whom we want to share our whole life with. We should not trust so easily. As we all know trust is not earned overnight, it is earned over time. That’s why you really have to know the person very well before sharing your life with her. So that in the future, you can avoid a person that sooner or later you'll just realize that she is such a backstabbing friend.


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    • zeeshaa profile image

      zeeshaa 6 years ago

      very informative work you done i like it.