- Gender and Relationships
11 Things You Should Stop Doing for Your Partner If You Want a Healthy and Stronger Relationship
Being in love with someone is the most beautiful thing that can happen to someone. Especially when you have found your soul mate in that particular person, we just cannot let go of him/her. No matter how many problems or what type of issues arises, we will do anything to keep our partner happy and satisfied. However, fights and misunderstandings are negative traits of a relationship but if we excel at designing solutions for any issues regarding the relationship, we can then, keep the balance and harmony that relies on both partners’ maturity and understanding. But is that enough to keep a relationship healthy? Sometimes being too generous, forgiving and helpful does not really help the relationship to grow and this can change the way your partner perceives you. The question arises about whether a relationship fails only because of negative behaviors and reactions or is it that sometimes good actions and reactions also cause disruption in the relationship? What are the boundaries that should never be crossed to help a relationship to really flourish? So, let us discuss about how maintaining positivity and understanding can still bring misbalance to a smooth and healthy relationship.
Say yes to everything they want or plan to do
Letting your partner decide upon everything be it simple choices over restaurants or a big decision about taking a loan can make you feel aligned with their choices at first. But as time goes on there is a built up of repressed emotion or anger when you never agree on your partner’s choice and vice versa. This can create real clashes and disruption in the relationship. Your partner might change their perception about you as you might sound to be someone having no personal choice no personal opinion and simply indecisive. This can pave the way to letting your partner take the lead in every important decision and you will be no more living an authentic life. Therefore, each partner should take some time to discuss about each other’s choices, opinions, desires, likes, and dislikes.
Giving too much space to your partner
Giving your partner space is a good thing but allowing too much space creates distance and the connection and affinity is lost. When people first start dating, they want to be together all the time up to the point of being indivisible. But as a relationship extends over time, the spark that lies within the relationship starts to fade away little by little. Each partner wants to do their activities on their own without feeling the need to involve their partner in everything as they get more comfortable with each from day to day. If partners had the pleasure to accompany each other in every social event in the former times, but now each one of them goes out more often with friends or alone this is already an alarming sign that the distance is already there. Therefore, too much space destroys the relationships.
Always be the first one to say sorry
Any issue that arises in a relationship is not always the mistake of only one partner it involves both partners ego, understanding, patience and behavior towards a particular difficult situation. Looking for a solution to resolve the problem involves both partners effort. So never be ready to be always the first one to apologize, instead try to analyze the missing parts, the misunderstandings created and mistakes done by both partners. Both should be mutually sorry to avoid ego problems. And if we really love someone what would not we do to resolve a problem as soon as possible.
Impose a bad habit on our partner
Being in a relationship also implies helping your partner overcome any bad habit or encourage him/her to become the best version of themselves. Instead of taunting them over every mistake or bad habit, which will only make your partner feel totally down and hurt, it is better to support your partner to bring the positivity they are seeking in their life is what a true partner should do. Keeping on motivating your partner about how to reach their goal over something will only increase the love between both partners.
Being an emotional pivot to your partner
When your partner is depressed, sad or simply angry over something it is better to let them handle the situation on their own. As being a partner you would want to help them or want to give them advice over the depressing situation, but this can cause more harm than you can think. We cannot be the emotional pivot that will them restore their mood from sad to happy or depressed to ecstasy. This will lead your partner to be too emotionally dependent on you because the day you fail to be their emotional support over a depressing situation this can cause many misunderstandings. Your partner might end up thinking that you are no more interested to pacify them because you do not care about them being hurt or not when it is really not the case.
Keeping grudges for too long
Arguments and fights are way too common in a relationship. However, the most important endeavor is reconciliation, by speaking up your mind about something that is nudging you so as to avoid keeping grudges. Grudges against your partner will only increase the distance and can also start to make u feel as if you genuinely hate your partner. The magic in the relationship will only just fade away. If you have any anger over your partner it is better to resolve the situation in order to bridge any gap as soon as possible.
Cover up their mistakes
Having a partner who told you many nasty things that really hurt you, or they are just violent or aggressive over every petty thing will not resolve the issue if you make them feel like they are never wrong. If you always make them feel like it was your mistake then your partner will not respect you anymore and this will only encourage your partner’s bad behavior. Instead, we should discuss all the problems faced in the relationship, voice out any bad behavior or any common mistakes that were already discussed formerly. Understanding and maturity can really resolve these issues.
Taking all the responsibilities of the chores
Doing all the chores should not be restricted to only one partner. Both should cooperate and give a helping hand about how to balance free time and chores and work. Everyone wants their free time so we cannot just thrust the whole cleaning on your partner just to be free. The one who does all the house chores should also not be a fool to just not ask his partner to help.
Trying to give unnecessary advice
Giving your partner advice over their professional life or about their future might just not be the typical piece of advice which you are seeking for. She/he might just not take your advice or simply not like it since it is bringing them down or making them feel more confused. Instead, let them deal with their own choices and decisions and if in return they come to you for some personal advice or guidance then you will feel more open to share your opinion about their life and give them a good advice about which you can also feel a boost in your self-esteem.
Say yes for sex when you do not want to
Being intimate with your partner is a must for bonding the relationship. Sex, however, is a choice, you do not always need to agree to have sex with your partner just because he has a right over you after marriage, or just to please him/her. Forced sex was never appreciated and if mutual trust and respect dominate the relationship, then there will be no room for these kinds of situation where you have to succumb to your partner's desires. Therefore, if your partner refuses to have sex there is nothing to feel bad about, instead, this will make your partner appreciate you more for your understanding.
No more efforts towards them
When you get too used to someone after some years of relationship, we simply stop trying to compliment them, showing them how much we appreciate them for their understanding, for the compassion and love they have for us. We just assume that the person is very much aware of all that. But this magical love spark should always be present in a relationship by showing them that we feel very lucky to have them in our life. Appreciating someone and showing them how much we actually appreciate them and how much we enjoy their company makes a bunch of difference and this really helps to keep the relationship joyful and healthy.
A relationship is always based on true love and trust. Having an awesome partner can literally make you feel complete but when it comes to understanding your partners’ needs and wants and making efforts to keep them happy, all these can be really challenging. We should not compare our actual relationship with former bad experiences which can be a big turn off for your partner who will eventually feel judged and being compared to people who could not keep you happy in the past. In short, if you have found your soul mate in your partner then keep this relationship strong and beautiful because you are luckier than you think.
© 2017 Ashi