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Things that are concidered as cheating

Updated on August 8, 2016

What things are considered as cheating

If you in a relationship, and you have a friend that your partner has not met.

Going to the person house without telling your partner is considered cheating.

Email the person behind your partners back is cheating.

Meaning if it a secret then it cheating.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 20 months ago

      Cheating is in the eye of the beholder. Flirting is cheating for some folks.

      Most people would not call (themselves) cheaters simply because they visited someone or sent an email to a person their spouse has never met.

      In fact most "would be cheaters" initially start off by saying things like:

      "Just because I'm in a relationship or married doesn't mean I can't have (friends)". "It's not as if we're (doing) anything." "For all I know he/she probably has (friends) I know nothing about." {It's a lie of justification.}

      There's a misconception from the betrayed person's point of view of why people cheat. The goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while they address their other "needs" on the side. Rarely does someone cheat for the purpose of (replacing) one relationship with another. They want to compliment what they have.

      In some instances people cheat in order to (stay) in unhappy marriages.

      For example imagine a husband in a sexless marriage with three kids.

      From his point of view after having several discussions and his wife has indicated she just doesn't have any interest in sex he has three options.

      1. Accept the fact that his sex life is over from here on out.

      2. Run down to the courthouse and file for divorce, move out of his home into a one bedroom apartment, pay child support and possible alimony, become a weekend dad, split up assets along with friends & family who choose sides. (Some people cheat to maintain their living standard.)

      3. Find a woman who is attracted to him and (wants) to have sex.

      It should come as no shock why many men would go with option #3. Especially since most cheaters don't expect to get caught!

      Awhile back a question was posed on HP.

      "Is sexual incompatibility a valid reason for ending a marriage?"

      Over 90% of the people answering said "no". However I bet if one were asked. "Would you rather your mate cheat on you or leave you?"

      Those same people would say they would rather their mate leave them! Essentially it's the same question asked from a different perspective.

      There are basically three types of cheaters.

      1. The Incessant Cheater

      This person has never been faithful in any long-term relationship. They're always in search of the thrill that comes with being with someone "new". Their motto: "Variety is the spice of life".

      They get bored very easily and view monogamy as going on a very strict diet. It's not a matter of (if) but rather (when) they will cheat.

      2. The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater

      He/she is not "proactively" looking to cheat. They may have a secret crush on someone or they meet a person who is very attractive and this person either hits on them or makes it known they could turn their "fantasy" into a reality. It doesn't help if the would be cheater is immature and has friends that egg him/her on to "go for it" during a business trip or girls/boys weekend getaway where they're not likely to get caught. Oftentimes this cheater will confess weeks, months, or years later just to absolve themselves of the guilt they've been carrying around.

      3. The Discontented Cheater

      He/she blames YOU! If you hadn't done or stopped doing whatever they (never would have been open) to stepping outside of the relationship/marriage. They'll say you took them for granted, neglected them, stopped making them "feel special". A strange came along and put a smile on their face and in their heart. He/she complimented them while you were complaining about them. They listened to them while you tuned them out. They flirted with them while you ignored them.

      It's not uncommon for a betrayed person to be willing to forgive a discontented cheater if they really (buy into the belief) that their actions or lack of was a major contributing factor.

      Having said that monogamy and cheating are both choices of the individual. Cheating is a selfish cowardly attempt to (have it all) by looking elsewhere. They refuse to gamble by letting go of what they already have and know.