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Is Your Marriage Toxic? Signs You're Married To A Clinical Psychopath

Updated on August 3, 2010

If only marriage was as simple as this video shows. But it's not. Marriage can be filled with hugs, kisses and lots of laughter, if you choose to. But often times it's not filled with any of those and is filled with anger, sadness, bitterness and headaches.

Going on a different tangent today with a, "been there", toxic issue. It's not about chemicals in the environment, it's about when your marriage reaches a boiling point and keeping it from getting to that toxic level. Although there are two sides to every story, this notation is from a woman to all the men out there and how to avoid getting to that point. Some women may apply it to themselves if needed too.

Are you a man-boy? This is a man who looks like an adult but with a little boys actions and a juvenile brain. This is not helpful to a marriage and can be conceived to your wife that you weren't ready for marriage because you are still acting on a child's level. Man-boy behavior is lying about small, insignificant things, such as saying "I'll be there in 20 minutes" when you're fully aware it'll take over an hour. Men, you don't have to worry, your not married to your mother so you won't get a time out if you're late. Just tell the truth or try to be more accurate with your timing. Don't guesstimate. This really ticks women off. Especially when you do it on a constant basis. Use the cell phone if you think you're going to be too late. We're not trying to keep tabs on you or your whereabouts 24/7. We just want you to tell the truth!

If your taking quick glances at other women especially at their body parts and in her presence, this'll guarantee a few nights without any nookie-nookie. I've heard from a therapist that this is what all men do and is basically considered normal behavior. BS! It is degrading to the woman you are with and we know why you do this. It means you are not content with the one your with and your shopping around for some eye candy. Lower your gaze or better yet, a novel idea, turn your head and start talking tot he one you're with. And if you're caught on the spot, DON'T DENY IT!!! This'll start WWIII and you'll for sure be looking in the yellow pages under A for Attorney. If you are caught, a sincere "I'm sorry, it was wrong to do that" And give her a big smooch...on the lips...for 2 seconds, not a quick peck. This'll smooth things over right away. But you must do all of this quickly, because the longer you wait to apologize, the more deep ca ca you'll be in. Trust me. It builds excuses for her not to be with you. It will make her feel you can not be trusted and if you are doing it in front of her you must be doing it when she is not around, which can further harm the relationship with trust issues.

I hope you don't have a habit of calling young women sweetheart or honey. This is the same as the above issue and can be perceived just as detrimental as goggling at women. Again, if you are doing this in front of your spouse, even if she says it doesn't bother her, believe me it does. Just stop trying to build your ego by charming the opposite sex. You'll look stupid to her and it will get you nowhere real quick. Time to remember why you took those vows right about now.

Are you a bully or have intimidating in-your-face screaming matches to get your point across?Do you name call with four letter words or make up things about your wife that aren't true? Do you test her truthfulness by setting her up with phony situations? Do you say things you later regret because you said them out of anger and don't apologize for any of it? If any of these things are currently happening, your marriage is severely toxic and you are a man-boy psychopath. You are also an egotistical, paranoid, narcissistic bully. You have no empathy for the other person and getting your way is your only goal. If any of these traits describe you, go get help some serious mental now!

We are now hearing tales of Mel Gibson and how he is behaving in these specific ways. Very charming and friendly and jovial to others, but a completely different man only to his girlfriend. This man has serious issues. But he won't believe it is his fault and feels it was his right to scream at her and more than likely blames her for his actions. She did this to me or she made me say this. I call it the OJ effect. Several years ago, a friend of O.J Simpsons, told a Southern California radio station DJ, that O.J. spilled his guts about what happened the night Nicole Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman were brutally murdered. That he went to her house and knocked on the door. She opened it and happened to have a knife in her hand, from making dinner not for protection, but O.J. had taken the knife and slit both their throats. In telling of this gruesome tale to his friend, O.J. blamed Nicole. O.J told his friend, "If she didn't have that knife in her hand, she'd still be alive" he totally blamed her for him killing her! Total psychopathic behavior. No remorse or guilt, just blame the other party. Amazing!

But going back to Mel Gibson, if it weren't for those recordings I might not believe his girlfriend either. I call this the Jekyll and Hyde syndrome. Experts believe this psychopath behavior, is a result of not getting enough love or tenderness from his mother in his younger years. Was his father abusive? If he was, did his mother protect him from any physical, mental or verbal abuse? Did his father let her protect him? Possibly not. A mothers natural instinct is to protect their young children from any harm, even if it's their own husband doing the abuse. Abusive fathers will feel like the protective mother is interfering with his way of discipline and will accuse the mother of systematically overruling his actions. It's in our DNA to nurture and protect our babies and we will continue to do so with or without your approval. Best response to this behavior is to just walk away and leave. Then seek medical attention from a licensed psychotherapist.

Acting this way gets you absolutely nothing. No woman is going to jump in your arms after this tirade and say, "I love you honey!" They will only run in the other direction. And fast. They won't even come close to you and will avoid you at all costs. They are done with this level of toxic behavior and if she is a strong woman will end it immediately.

No one wants to be treated like this and more than likely she was fooled by your charming side. To reel her in with your phony niceness was easy for you because you've done it so many times before. Your good at it. But she has no clue.

She is busy with her life and hoping to share a joint venture for a lifetime of marital bliss. But it never comes. She's perplexed at why you don't comfort her during the delivery of your children. Waiting for that gentle stroke on her head with whispers of encouragement and excitement on the impending birth of your children. But all she gets is you sitting there next to her appearing to be concerned, appearing to be the loving husband in front of the delivery room attendees. But she's not tuned in right now to your actions, because her main concern is the safety of the baby. She will only dwell on it years to come when she places the pieces of the puzzle together to realize who she really married.

We as grown women are that, we are grown women and most of us act accordingly. Well Ok the majority of women do. We have psychologically grown up and take on adult situations when they're handed to us. A sick child, a loss of a job, or a-psycho-husband-who-is-acting-like-a-two-year-old. We are able to pull our boots straps up and move on. And if they're kids involved we do what's best for the kids, not what's best for us as an individual

Insecure men run away, far away from a simple problem that can be remedied so easily. But unfortunately, most men can not talk the way women want them to talk. Mostly about how they're feeling so we can see inside your soul and see who you really are. Running away is not an adult decision or a wise one. This a man-boy behavior. Stay with your wife and kids, if there are any and talk gently with a controlled voice making sure you do not raise it or come across as devious. The change your behavior with the help of psychoanalysis, psycho therapy, anything to get help. It's going to take years to get where you should be, where your life will be as normal to us as it is to you.

Do's and Don'ts for a Better Marriage and Signs of Psychopathic Behavior

  • Lower your Ego standard, we will feed your ego when we want to
  • Think before you speak (think of the consequences of your words)
  • If you can't say anything nice, then don't say nothing at all (didn't your mother teach you this?)
  • Don't lie or exaggerate about the small things (yes, even those little white lies)
  • Don't assume your wife can read your mind
  • Tell her gently with kindness you need some time alone
  • Your a man now, act like one
  • Don't threaten to do something to get her to act on something or change her behavior
  • Women love to be romanced, think of something romantic instead of meeting her in the bedroom and waiting. This is a big turn off.
  • Apologize right away (within 1/2 hour to hour) for something you've done or said wrong. Waiting days or weeks or even months does not play well with us


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      Grok 4 years ago

      This article is very disappointing. It's sexist, and doesn't really talk much about being in a "toxic marriage" but rather rambles on with some very elementary psychology and remarks about Mel Gibson.. what does that have to do with anything?

      My wife is a diagnosed bi-polar borderline sociopath (she feels but not like most people).

      So I'm a man, so I must be the bad guy when she's being paranoid and attacks me for no apparent reason.

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      Greg 6 years ago

      Wow - hey LunarGal - are you one bitter and twisted bint or what? What a negative article.

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      Andrea 6 years ago

      Please learn the difference between your and you're. I feel dumber after reading this.