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Things to Remember When Cheating on Your Partner

Updated on June 23, 2009

While I would never be an advocate for infidelity, reality is what it is. Cheating happens everyday, all over the world. People do it for many different reasons- they are unhappy, no longer satisfied, for revenge, or just simply because they can. The list could go on forever. But, there are some important things to remember when one gets in this type of sticky situation, a situation that can often cause more pain than pleasure in the long run.

Cheating requires a lot of deception- so the first thing to remember when cheating is to destroy all evidence! This includes text/picture messages, letters, incriminating photos, ingoing/outgoing calls, receipts, and so on and so forth. The reason for this is so that one's indiscretions are not exposed in the stupidest manner! While this may seem like common sense, it appears to be the number one way people get caught. One friend of mine found explicit text messages in her husband's phone; another found naked pictures of her boyfriend's mistress in a box laying around the house.

The next thing to remember, is to be coordinated! When juggling more than one activity, a plan is required. Just like dropping the kids off at their various activities. Coordination is required to figure out who is picking up/dropping off; what location are they going to; what time do they need to be there. The same can be said for juggling three (or more!!) people. It is imperative that dates, times, and locations are discussed and agreed upon. Otherwise, it's possible to end up with two lunch dates at the same place and at the same time- very uncomfortable!!

Another thing to remember is to remain the same. Sudden changes in one's personality, appearance, or attitude are often dead giveaways that something is going on. Things like suddenly working out when physical fitness was never a priority; suddenly "working late," when the work day has always ended at 5 o'clock; not answering the phone or turning it off, when it is usually attached to a hand. All are signs that things may not be what they seem.

Something else to remember is that the mentality required for cheating is not the same as just being in a relationship. It has to be known and acknowledged that what is being done can be detrimental to your relationship, and sometimes even detrimental to your health. It also has to be assumed that this person will not leave their spouse or significant other, and if confronted about the situation, the "other person" will surely be the one to go.

The last and most important thing to remember is that cheating changes the very aspect of who you are as a person. It can lead to a loss of family, of career, or of oneself. No matter the reason for the affair, this change will always occur, and one has to be prepared for the consequences of those actions. If you are a person who cheats just because you can, then you loose your heart and your ability to truly care for people. If you are cheating because you are unhappy, you will continue to be unhappy because the person you are cheating with is a constant reminder of what you wish you had. And cheating for revenge, that just makes you bitter- because it is not something you truly wanted to do, but something you felt you had to do to even the score- one hurt for another.

As I said in the beginning, I am in no way, shape, or form an advocate for cheating. It is a selfish act, one that can cause your partner a lot of pain (they will be changed forever as well). But, if you are going to cheat, there should be no misconceptions about what has to be done to do it successfully.

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    • trusouldj profile image

      trusouldj 7 years ago from Indiana

      Actor Patrick Dempsey from "Grey's Anatomy" said it best: Cheating takes away your right to look in the mirror and say, "I'm a good person". All you'll ever see from then on is an a**hole.

    • profile image

      Justsilvie 7 years ago

      Great article!

      Cheating is such a senseless act that devastates your partner and damages your own self-worth. If tempted, talk to your partner first and either find a solution within the relationship or end it. Close one chapter of the book before opening the next.

    • JennaJackson profile image

      JennaJackson 8 years ago

      Very nice commentary on cheating spouses. There are no winners. In fact, everyone loses.

    • profile image

      SallyJD 8 years ago

      Having both cheated and been cheated on I can honesty say that there are no winners in this situation.

      I now find it very difficult to trust anyone - myself included!

      However, I am working on that one and articles like this help toward that process - thanks x

    • profile image

      Just Me 8 years ago

      Speak Beauty Speak!! I can honestly and directly relate to your hub. I just never really thought of it that way. Cheating really isn't something to be taken lightly whether your cheating or being cheated on.

    • BeautySpeaks profile image

      BeautySpeaks 8 years ago from Prince Georges County, Maryland

      Thanks LondonGirl =) I'm glad you enjoyed. That's exactly what I was trying to convey =)

    • LondonGirl profile image

      LondonGirl 8 years ago from London

      Great hub - both funny and serious at the same time.

    • Justmedrc profile image

      Justmedrc 8 years ago

      Very well written, entertaining and thought-provoking. I have some friends who definitely need to read this article :)

    • BeautySpeaks profile image

      BeautySpeaks 8 years ago from Prince Georges County, Maryland

      Thanks GlamourGrl =)

    • profile image

      Glamourgrl78 8 years ago

      I think this article is well written. I do not agree with cheating but having been cheated on and having considered cheating to "get even" I understand how it can occur. I think these "tips" are very true. People get cocky and careless and that is often how they get caught.

    • profile image

      Lady A! 8 years ago

      Great article Beauty're in the wrong profession.

    • BeautySpeaks profile image

      BeautySpeaks 8 years ago from Prince Georges County, Maryland

      I'm glad you like it guys =)

    • profile image

      PheonixRachelle 8 years ago

      I love this, so true ! Cheating doesn't need to happen. Michael Baisden and I agree on the same philosophy about cheating.

    • profile image

      Chidi 8 years ago

      I like this article. You know what you're talkin' about!