- Gender and Relationships
I Love You: An Honest Opinion
Whenever I get into a relationship with somebody, I never truly fall for them. None of this “I can’t stop thinking about you” “OMG I LUV U BABY!” crap. I don’t promote it, I don’t make a big deal out of it. Hell, I hardly even think about it. So when a boyfriend tells me “I love you,” I don’t know what to say. Do I lie? Can I respond in a nice way, avoiding the “L” word? Should I really just say “thank you?”
In that split second, I have to decide. How can I be honest and not hurt him? But I quickly realize there’s no way to do that and I just lie. “I love you too.” There. That should pacify him for a while. I mean, I’ll mean it one day, I’m sure. It’s not really lying, it’s just predicting the truth before it happens.
Such is my dilemma, in every relationship. They love me. I only like them. Yes, you’re attractive. Yes, you’re funny. Yes, I enjoy spending time with you. But do I love you? No. I like you, I really do. I’m rather fond of you; you’re nice to have around. But I don’t love you, I’m sorry. I don’t think about you day and night. I can breathe without you there. In fact, if you’re around too much I’m going to demand breathing room. I don’t need you. Maybe you need me, but that’s never what I wanted.
So please, don’t tell me “I love you more than anything I’ve ever known.” Don’t tell me “You are the best thing in my life.” That’s not what I want to hear. Your life is your own, not mine. I shouldn’t be what defines it. Can’t we just enjoy each other’s company and make out and laugh? Isn’t that enough? No, you have to love the person you’re with, you have to love them with every fibre of your being and not be able to imagine yourselves without them. You have to put a label on it, this love. Because apparently, if you don’t love them, then the relationship is going nowhere and he’s not the right one for you.
He’s just not the right guy for you.
You’re just not ready for a relationship.
He is the right guy for me, by all accounts. And I am ready and capable of a relationship, I just don’t want one. Yet no one seems to understand that. I can’t not want a relationship, that’s completely unheard of. I just haven’t found the right guy. When Mr. Right finally decides to show up everything will be perfect and magical and we’ll live happily ever after. Lies. I know better. Hollywood has filled up our minds with a lot of crap about true love and soul mates and it’s all bullshit that we should’ve outgrown when we stopped playing with Barbie dolls. Yet somehow, it sticks. It pervades, despite logic and despite reason.
Maybe it’s out of the fear of not wanting to be alone. Maybe it’s out of the intense desire we all feel to be loved and accepted and cherished. I don’t know. But what I do know, is that it’s a lie.
So don’t tell me you love me, because that means nothing to me.