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Three Stupid Words

Updated on May 29, 2016
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Three Stupid Words

The English language contains many words, and those words can be assembled into various combinations to form statements and sentences to express and exchange ideas and thoughts. There are three words in particular that in and of themselves are fairly benign. The words themselves are harmless and individually really don’t mean much, however, put them together and they form a very powerful statement to express some pretty strong feelings between two human beings.

People say these words to each other all the time whether they mean them or not. Sometimes they come out by force of habit, sometimes they are said to manipulate people, other times they are said when people are dying. There’s an entire greeting card industry and “Hallmark” holidays centered on these three words. That’s how powerful these words, in this combination are. It’s pretty heavy stuff if you think about it.

I have used this combination of words to express a thought directed at other human beings, my parents, my siblings, my children, people whom I dated in the past, people I was married to and people that I am friends with. It feels good to tell people those three words in that particular order. At least it does to me.

Sadly, the reality is that these three words have seemed to elude me my entire life. I just want one special person in my life to look me in the eye and say, “I love you” when I’m not expecting it. I have no idea what that would feel like, but I’d like to find out.

However, having said that, I’ve come to realize that in actuality the words, or specifically that phrase really mean nothing. We all have heard the phrase “Actions speak louder than words.” While in a philosophical sense, this may be true, but in my opinion, these words have a place too. There are many ways for people to express the meaning of this combination of the three words. For instance, we can practice kindness to one another, giving portions of one’s life, time and commitment. We can perform acts that make each other feel worthy and deserving of our attention and devotion. There are actually many different ways to say it:

“Call me when you get home.”

“Buckle your seatbelt.”

“Be safe.”

“Good night and sleep well.”

“Let me know if you need anything.”

“I want you to grow as a person.”

And the list goes on and on. Just remember, if someone close to you doesn’t tell you specifically that they love you, chances are they probably do. They just have a different way of saying it.

Go on and tell somebody that you love him or her. There are many different ways to say it without using those three stupid words.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 14 months ago

      Interesting!

      " I just want (one special person) in my life to look me in the eye and say, “I love you” {when I’m not expecting it}. You basically listed two caveats.

      1. The person has to be "special" (in your mind)

      2. Their saying "I love you" has to be unexpected.

      The reason why that is such as challenge is you wouldn't choose to date or be in a relationship with someone whom you didn't think was "special" at least in the beginning.

      Secondly if you've been having a wonderful time together for weeks or months it's not likely going to completely surprise you if they said: "I love you"

      Recently there have been several articles written which illustrate the majority of the time it's (men) who say "I love you" first!

      Lots of women believe if they let a man know how much they care about him he is going to turn into a sudden a-hole and take advantage of her.

      Some women are also afraid of coming off as clingy/desperate or they're afraid if they say it first it might scare the guy away.

      This may also explain why so many women would never propose marriage to a man whom they want to marry! They'd rather silently wait in agony for (him) to propose.

      They want the man to "lead the way" when it comes to expressing words of love and future commitment.

      Sometimes a woman may say: "What are we?" or "Where are we going with this?" rather than saying; "I love you" or "I want a commitment." they throw the ball in the guy's lap to react and decide.

      It's as if it's an unwritten woman's book rule: "The man has to ask for the date, the dance, pay for the meal, say "I love you" first, and propose." The woman gets to sit back and say "yes" or "no".

      Therefore it's very unlikely a man will be told "I love you" first by a woman that (he) considers "special".

      Odds are it was he that pursued her!

      "I’ve come to realize that in actuality the words, or specifically that phrase really mean nothing" - Excellent point.

      It's never about the "words" but rather how (we feel) about the person who says them! If you're not "into someone" it doesn't matter if they are being sincere or not when they express those words. We only care when it comes from someone that we desire or admire!

      Lastly everyone has their own "litmus test" of what love should "look like" or "feel like". Until you find someone who expresses love the way (you) feel it should be expressed you will always wonder if they really love you. It's not uncommon to hear a frustrated person respond to being told "I love you" by someone who doesn't behave the way they believe people in love should with: "What does that really mean?" or "If you truly loved me then you would.....etc"

      Awhile back I heard a radio host state early on when he's dating a new woman he asks her: "How do you know when you are loved?"

      Based upon her response he knows if (he) is the right guy for her.

      As you noted some people aren't "wordsmiths" but they'll look out for those they love, do favors, and provide comfort in times of need.

      Maybe a guy doesn't write poetry, come up with creative surprise getaways, sends roses/balloons "just because" or serve breakfast in bed but he would lay down his life if an intruder crashed through the door!

      Ultimately each of us defines love in our own way. Odds are we'll never be happy until we meet someone has the same definition we have.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is up to us!

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde