- Gender and Relationships
How to get married - What not to do to keep a man
I had a friend who was beautiful, both inside and out. She had an awesome personality along with a beautiful face, but she just couldn't keep a guy. She was engaged twice (to different guys) and never married. The guys always broke up the engagement. I always wondered why this happened, until I started noticing a pattern that kept repeating itself in her love life and in the lives of other girls I know, all of them single.
So what exactly were they doing wrong?
Let's list out a few of their problems. (Here's a list of other problems that can make a man break up with you.)
Being too nice
Being nice is cool, just as long as you're not TOO nice. I started noticing that one the reasons a lot of the guys fled the scene was because the girl always gave in to anything he asked, and was willing to make all sorts of accommodations to make him feel happy. I noticed guys get tired. Why? Honestly, I don't know, but they do. I've heard several theories on this. One of these theories even mentioned that guys are "hunters" by nature and they like to chase after girls. I am not sure if I buy that theory. I personally think they get tired because guys, just like most people, believe that anything worth having is worth working for. If you don't give them much work, then you're probably not worth having. Whatever the reason behind their departure, know this: guys DO get tired of having everything handed to them on a silver plate, and will dump you for the first girl that makes them work a little harder.
What you think he sees when you are too nice and accommodating...
What he really sees...
Losing your personality
This goes hand in hand with being too nice. Some girls, in an effort to please their man, will agree to everything he says, and in the way, they lose who they really are. Let me give you an example:
He: Today I feel like going for a movie.
She: Me too.
He: I will order a margarita.
She: Me too.
He: My favorite color is green.
She: Mine too.
You get the idea. The girl is so eager to please, that she is willing to forget who she is. Guys get bored of this. They don't want to date themselves. They want to date another human that will possibly introduce them to new and exciting things. So, don't hide who you are to please him. Be yourself and show him who you truly are.
Always being available
Always being available translates into "I am a boring, needy person that has no life". And guys don't need a translator to understand that's exactly what you mean.
Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong on being available when your guy invites you out for a movie. It becomes a problem when he doesn't even have to ask because he knows you have nothing to do. And that's just depressing.
Guys want to know they are dating someone with a life. Place yourself in their shoes: would you want to date a guy who just sits around all day waiting for you to call? A guy who has no hobbies, no interests, no goals?
Even though you may just be trying to be nice by putting aside your hobbies and interests for him, he won't be grateful for it. Instead, he will just see it as a sign of neediness.
Instead of saying: "Of course I can go to the movies with you tonight", why not offer another day as an option. This will let him see you are a busy person that has a life, interests and hobbies.
Keep in mind that the goal of this advice is not to get you to treat your guy like trash because this may happen if you do. This just means that you have to set limits and boundaries. Don't let him take up all your time and energy. If you are looking to get married, let him see what an interesting and exciting person you really are, instead of just aspiring to become his clone. If it doesn't work out with him, at least that time won't have been completely wasted.