- Gender and Relationships»
Tips for succeeding in a new Relationship after a Divorce
The divorce rate in US and other Western countries is in the range of 30 to 50%. But, after the split, many of these people try to find new relationships. These people may justifiably be concerned that their new relationship should succeed because the first one has failed. But, only if they do things differently, they can be hopeful of a success in their new relationship. If you are also one among this group, you can find the following tips useful.
- You should be ready to effect a few changes in yourself. These behavioral changes may go a long way in helping you to succeed in your new relationship. The first change is that you should let go of your past. This includes stopping blaming your ex-spouse for the failure of the relationship. According to experts, if you continue blaming your ex for the split, you may not behave neutrally with your new partner.
- Taking advice from experienced people who have succeeded in their married lives is a good idea. You should learn to move on without the baggage of regrets, guilty feelings and blame. You should do an honest "reality check" also to jettison your past.
- You must change a few habits also. If you have always been a workaholic and have never cared to understand the feelings of your ex, you must put a stop to this behavior. If profuse smoking or drinking have been the causes for the split, you must find out ways to come out of these habits. If you continue with the same habits, your new relationship is also likely to fail. As experts put it, "if you come out of your comfort zone", that move itself can transform your entire life.
- Communicating with your new spouse is very important. Especially, money matters can be a major point of contention. They may create differences between you and your new partner. It is not necessary that you should merge your finances. Even if you merge your finances, you should find out a way that works smoothly for both. You should have an honest discussion with your partner beforehand so that you can find out a workable way for spending as well as saving because both are important for running a family. In addition to them, you and your partner should be clear about individual expenses also. Both of you should clearly know the so-called "red line" and both you and your partner should ensure not to cross this red line.
- Apart from communicating about financial matters, you and your partner may like to share the feelings, goals, stresses both of you may be facing and so on. Discussions between you and your partner should be fruitful and purposeful and hence, both of you should think before talking. Listening attentively when your partner speaks is very important also. Both of you should refrain from making absolute and generalized comments or remarks.
- Despite discussing all these aspects and effecting the changes in behaviors, there may be conflicts. But, you and your partner should be able to handle them better. There should be attempts to end the conflicts. For this, both of you should learn to control emotions like anger and analyze things impartially. At no point of time, you or your partners should make personal remarks or attacks. The focus should be on resolving the conflicts.
In short, you should try to make yourself a better partner if you want your new relationship to succeed.