ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Tips on "Coming Out" to Your Family and Friends

Updated on July 19, 2009

Ellen & Portia

George Michael

Are you secretly gay or lesbian but are afraid of coming out to your friends and family? Opening up to your loved ones about your sexuality is never easy. When I first came out to my family, well, it wasn't exactly "coming out" or an easy confrontation. I was sort of guilty by association and my girl friend at the time was the one who "outed" me. That's a whole other story! Regardless of the situation, coming out is easier said than done. Maybe your family is conservative, religious, or homophobic. But no matter what beliefs they may follow, they are still your family. Coming out is a confusing time. You may start to wonder, "What will people think of me?" "Will my family and friends stop loving me?" "Will people make fun of me?" This is an opportunity to re-evaluate yourself and who you want to be.

Life is too short to live in a closet.. haha! Let me try again, Life is too short to live with regrets.

You should always be true to yourself.. Here are some tips about coming out to your friends and family that helped me.


1.) Make sure that you are what you say you are. Accept yourself. A lot of teenagers and people think that homosexuality is something you can just "try out" until you realize that you really are or not. In a lot of cases, being "bisexual" becomes a new trend. That, my friends is NOT cool. Don't pretend to be someone you're not just because its the "cool" thing to do.


2.) Reach out to the closest person to you.. Casually bring up the topic about homosexuality and wait for their reaction.. if its positive, you can slowly start telling them about yourself. If their reaction is negative, maybe you should reach out to some people who ARE gay. Join a group on line, whether its myspace or facebook, whatever, join a group and reach out to people who are experienced. Chances are, they've been in your shoes too. Everybody is different and their experiences are different, but there are people your age going through the same thing you are. Sometimes its helpful to get a second persons perspective.

Know that you are not alone.

3.) Learn about the Gay community. Educate yourself on practicing safe sex, how to handle discrimination and defamation. Because of religious and or personal beliefs, a lot of people are not accepting of this lifestyle. Try to surround yourself with positive influences such as celebrities, artists, or people you meet.

4.) When you are ready to come out to your family, start off with the person you feel most comfortable with and when you're ready, work your way up to your parents.And if your parents are not okay with it, surround yourself with people who are. I'm not saying that you should turn your back on your parents but this is a hard process for them as well. Educate them with books or articles about homosexuality. It may take a little longer for them to come to terms with the situation or even accept it, but they will on their own time.


No matter how you do it, whether its through a letter or an email, tell the truth and make sure that you are ready and comfortable. Keeping your sexuality hidden will repress your true emotions and desires in the long run. Believe me, that is NOT fun. Being gay or lesbian does not make you a monster. Be proud of who you are. People in this world discriminate against others not only because of their orientation, but race, gender, religion, and anything they can. We live in a society that judges and discriminates each other! Shameful, isn't it? One's opinion is only as big as you make it. I hope this was somewhat helpful.. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to post!





Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      CELINA22 

      5 years ago

      YOU ARE APPRECIATED,I am CELINA from Canada i just want to thank Dr Okoro of okorohomeofrefuge@yahoo.com for all he did for me...for really taking his time to cast that brought my ex lover back to me[ALBERT] we are both married with kids and we are very much happier than never before what more can i say rather than to say a very big thanks i am everything i am today because of Dr Okoro i am grateful unto YOU spiritual Doc His email okorohomeofrefuge@yahoo.com for marital and relationship problem.

    • profile image

      Jane 

      5 years ago

      My Name is JANE.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook and she changed her Facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to My Name is JANE.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook and she changed her Facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to My Name is JANE.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook and she changed her Facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to My Name is JANE.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our wedding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook and she changed her Facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..I lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business ha

    • profile image

      katherine 

      5 years ago

      This is my testimony about the good work of Dr Zunga who help me.... I'm Katherine Garrett from UK. And am sorry for putting this on net but i will have to by this world top spell caster that brought back my husband which left me out for past 3 years, i eventually met this man on a blog site posting by one of is client for help, i explained everything to him and he told me about a spell caster that he had heard about and he gave me an email address to write to the spell caster to tell him my problems. In just 3 days, my husband was back to me. I just want to say thank you to this truthful and sincere spell caster, sir all you told have come to pass and thank you sir. Please i what to tell everyone who is looking for any solution to problem, i advice you to kindly consult this spell caster, he is real,he is powerful and whatever the spell caster tell is what will happen, because all what the spell caster told me came to pass. You can kindly contact him on: his email address is: zungaspelltemple@gmail.com

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 

      5 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      Ditto!

      Tweeted.... ! :)

    • Astra Nomik profile image

      Cathy Nerujen 

      7 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

      This is just fantastic. This should be tweeted everywhere. And on Facebook too. Thank you for another wonderful Hub. Coming out can be so hard for some people. You explain this so well. :)

    • Schwag profile image

      Schwag 

      7 years ago from Clarksville, TN

      Great hub. I can't imagine the stress of such a huge secret.

      Our parents know us better than anyone. In many, many cases the parents already know. I have two daughters; one is 3, the other is about 2. The older one loves climbing, trucks, tackling boys for the ball, sports, etc. The younger one's favorite phrase is "I want shoes". My wife and I already joke about my older girl possibly being gay.

      If you're worried about coming out to the parents, chances are they already know or at least suspect. Just a thought.

    • atlovesbm profile imageAUTHOR

      Anna 

      7 years ago from Orange County, California

      @dingdondindon: That is awesome! Some people are lucky to have such understanding parents. My mom FLIPPED when I told her I was gay haha

    • dingdondingdon profile image

      dingdondingdon 

      7 years ago

      Fantastic hub! My brother came out to our parents (he was already out to me because I've been passionate about LGBT rights since we were teens, so he knew I wouldn't judge him) about five years ago and I'm proud to say our parents reacted by simply smiling and saying it didn't change a thing about their love for him.

      I just wish all kids could have such a positive coming out experience.

    • atlovesbm profile imageAUTHOR

      Anna 

      7 years ago from Orange County, California

      @ d.william: Thank you for your kind words and thank you for reading :) I'm glad you enjoyed the cartoons!

    • d.william profile image

      d.william 

      7 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      wonderful hub with excellent advice. And you are correct to emphasize the comment: "Be proud of who you are". God made us the way we are, and he does not make mistakes. We are who we are for a reason. And I love the cartoons.

    • atlovesbm profile imageAUTHOR

      Anna 

      9 years ago from Orange County, California

      Aww thank you Dohn121!! =)

    • dohn121 profile image

      dohn121 

      9 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      Great hub! I like your hubs so far because they touch on things I have yet to witness. We'll talk again very soon! Keep it up!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)