- Gender and Relationships
How To Find Mr. Right: 6 Steps on Finding the Right Guy
I believe every girl in the world have dreamt of finding their prince and living happily ever after. At some point in your lives you've wondered how this person would look like and I'm sure you saw a perfect guy who has everything in the world and with no flaws in that little imagination of yours didn't you? Well guess what, that perfect guy doesn't exist! He's nowhere to be found on planet Earth, maybe he's in another planet?
This is a fact and pointing this out to you doesn't mean you have to stop dreaming of love. In fact, acknowledging this truth is the very first thing every woman should do in finding true love. Instead of looking for a perfect guy, start looking for the RIGHT GUY. Read on and learn how you can find the right guy to date!
Step # 1. STOP Dreaming of Prince Charming
I'll tell you again, Mr. Prince Charming doesn't exist in our world. He is in NEVERLAND and for you to meet him, you'll need a Fairy Godmother or a Genie's help but even these two are fiction characters!
Instead of finding a Prince, why don't you lower your standards a bit? Ask yourself, does he really need to have that perfect smile with pearly white teeth? Does he really need to have that angelic face, tantalizing eyes and superb sexy body? Does he need to be rich who could give you everything you ask for? Does he have to be genius or would you like him to be as strong as Superman who could defend you from all evil? Okay, you're imagining again! If all of these are required, you may end up spending your lifetime looking for someone who only exists in fairy tales.
Why don't you cross these out from your requirements or maybe remove some? Focus on the things that can be easily achieved.
Step # 2. Set Your Qualifications of a Right Guy
This is like looking for an employee to hire and you are the employer. Again,we are talking about real guys here and not some fiction character on a fantasy novel. Let's skip physical appearance for now and think of what other traits you would like a person to have. I'm not saying that you have to settle for a less attractive person. Physical appearance can be something you prefer but not required.
Get a pen and a paper and write down WANTED BOYFRIEND followed by the traits that are required for him to have. You may also add your preference which can be a tie breaker.
Must be nice (I think everyone wants a nice guy)
Must be thoughtful, sweet and caring
Must be faithful
Must be god-fearing
Must have proper grooming
Must have no current relationship
*Preferably handsome but average is okay
After listing down the qualifications, review it and check if these can describe a real person. You might want to ask your bestfriend on what he/she thinks about these must-haves.
Step # 3 Start Your Quest For The Right Guy
They say that we don't have to look for the right guy, we just have to wait. I say, you can do either way. It's not bad to start looking for the right guy. Think about it, what if he's waiting for you to come around too? The worst is he may have approached you but you haven't noticed because you are busy daydreaming. For me, searching for the right guy will speed up the process of finding love. So go on, take your checklist with you and start noticing the guys around you.
Step # 4 Stay Focused and Investigate
So you already have someone you like but you are not sure if he is qualified to be the Right Guy. Ask yourself, what are the things that made you like this person? Are his qualities listed on your checklist? How did this guy score? Did he get a 100% based on your checklist? Or he just look so yummy, it's so hard to resist?
Being physically attracted to a person can put you out of focus. It's even harder when you start feeling butterflies on your stomach. You have to always remind yourself that you are looking for the right guy and that you need to check your list because this is how you would like your guy to be. Of course you wouldn't know if he's qualified unless you get to know the person.
The best way to get to know him is to befriend him. If you are shy or tongue-tied, you can also ask around and investigate but remember, if you can't stay close to him you can never see if he fits your qualifications so learn how to control those butterflies and talk to him soon.
Getting information is very easy. Hang around with him and ask him questions. But don't rely solely on his answers. If you want to know if he is faithful, you can ask his friends on how he broke up with his ex-girlfriend. Was he caught being with another girl? If so, you can't really say that he can be faithful with you. If he already got some girls' hearts broken, would you still take the risk and try to change his heart?
Step # 5 Keep Observing
Let's say this guy whom you like got all of the qualities listed on your checklist... Will that be enough to say that he is indeed Mr. Right?
Keep observing... What are his other qualities? What are his bad traits? Everyone has bad traits. Can you accept him being the imperfect human? Again, no one is perfect. Know his flaws and see if you can live with it.
One important thing to know is if he likes you too. All your efforts are useless if this guy doesn't like you. I found a Hub which can be helpful on finding out if he likes you. Here's the link: Does He Like Me - 5 Ways and Signs to Know If A Guy is Interested In You
Never ever pretend to be someone you are not just to get a guy to like you. He may love you when you pretend but there will come a time when you'll be tired of pretending and eventually reveal who you really are and this might change his mind and leave you for another woman. Don't take this risk. If he doesn't like you, why waste your time? There are a lot of fish in the ocean. Try to catch another one!
Finding love is like finding shoes. People go after the good looking ones, but they end up choosing the one they feel comfortable with.
So you like him and he likes you too, is that okay now? Not yet... Here's another thing to consider. Are you comfortable being with each other? Do you easily connect, like when you are talking with each other it seems to be non-stop? Do you laugh at the same jokes? Do you feel awkward when you suddenly ran out of topics to discuss? Liking each other is not enough. Both of you should feel free being yourselves; both of you should feel happy being with each other. Only then can I say that yes, you found your match!
Step # 6 Fall In Love and Forget Steps 1-5
Why did I give Steps 1-5 if the final step would be forgetting them?
There should be no reason for loving someone. I gave steps 1-5 so that you can open your heart for a possible love match. It would take you long to find love or you may not find anyone to love if you're just sitting there doing nothing. Even if there should be no reason in loving someone, let's not forget the fact that every romantic relationship starts because two persons like something in each other and they felt comfortable with each other. The goal of steps 1-5 is for you to find this person whom you feel comfortable with and see if both of you can start a spark of love.
Love takes time to develop and that is something a dating couple should work on. Many people believe in 'love at first sight' but I'm not one of them. For me, love starts when you stopped noticing the good or bad qualities of a person, you just accept him. His happiness becomes your happiness that's why when a person you love chose to leave, you would let go even if it hurts. When you love, there is no more throbbing in your heart and no butterflies in your stomach. When you love, your heart is relaxed, your heart is happy and at peace. I don't believe in one true love. You can love anyone you like. If your boyfriend cheated on you, you can still mend your heart. It would be hard and it will take time but it is not the end of the world. Learn to move on and when you have moved on, please don't stop believing in love, go back to steps 1-5 instead and find that person who can make you fall in love again.
If you stopped believing in love, there will be no love for you. If you believe that every guy is a cheater, well they'll be cheaters. Quit thinking negative thoughts, if romantic love is something you hope to experience in this life, believe in it, feel it and It will come to you!
REMEMBER: "Whatever is going on in your mind is what you are attracting." - The Secret