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To All My Single Brothers Who Have A hard Time Keeping Their Fliers Up

Updated on March 16, 2019

Raise your hand if you have always had a hard time keeping your flier intact, you probably are not the only one. I have been having a chat with some bachelors. Same questions kept popping up about marriage, relationships, their fears, rumors they have heard from people, and life in general. Allow me to share with you some of the things I told them. I was plain and straight.

Think Before You Act

When you have sex with a woman without using protection, she can get pregnant. Whenever your penis is in a high mood, and you feel like having sex, remember that it has millions of chemicals that can change your life forever. Impregnating a woman and you fall into a situation of marrying her simply because she is pregnant for you is not worth it. Do not forget that basic biology. Do not let your penis reason for you.

When deciding who to marry, look at some factors. In marriage, you live with this person every second, minute, hour, day or years for as long as you live (unless you get a divorce and she won’t let it just happen just like that). So don’t just look at the outer beauty alone. Beauty fades, but character rarely does. Try to study her character and weigh if she has the values and discipline you want in a potential spouse, friend, mother to your kids and friend of your friends. Take your time. A wife is so many things.

Know What You Want

Sometimes you are going to feel attracted to a woman. This is okay and natural. It doesn't mean that everyone you feel attracted to is a potential spouse. Sometimes you need to give yourself time to be friends first and give your mind and body time to understand if what you saw on the first day is what this person is. The truth of the matter is that all human beings are actors especially when it comes to the time of choosing a spouse. Everyone puts out their best behavior. This is why this decision needs to be given time. Do not rush but do not also be worried to try. It’s a delicate balance but one you would rather err on the side of caution than risk.

Don’t Tie Yourself Down.

Do not, do not and I repeat...do not impregnate someone before you decide that you want to be with them, it is the worst thing you can ever do for yourself. Once a woman is pregnant for you, you have started a new relationship which you will always have no matter what happens after that, and it can be stressing. You will be bound by the child between you. You can never run away from this fact. Please do not impregnate anyone's daughter without knowing their family or at least introduce yourself to their parents or other guardians. It is a sign of disrespect, and you will have started on the wrong footing.

Your wife is as beautiful as you make her feel and appear. Her dignity is very much in your hands. For heaven’s sake don’t make someone’s daughter live in hell. When love fades have mercy on her and don’t treat her like trash. In due time things get better. Don’t beat, don’t belittle, and don’t disrespect her. Every bad thing you do to her you do to God, her parents, brothers, and sisters and all those who have raised her for you. In my humble experience, the woman you get may well define if you succeed or not. So be careful don’t be deceived by looks (although they matter a lot) Go for the character. You will be good I tell you.

If you don’t do that, you will tell me later and if you land on a good woman, trust me people will think you are mad. Total bliss I tell you!! :) :) You will have peace, succeed and be happy with yourself. Please don’t impregnate anyone until you are sure this is a girl you want to stay with for life. It is not cool, and you will leave a stressed life. Avoid that trap.

Lastly, women are very many. Many of them are just waiting for an opportunity to stick to someone. Do not get trapped, be in control of your thoughts and keep your zip up. It will save you a lot of problems. If you get a woman that you love, love her profoundly and madly. She is, even when the days pass by still that beautiful girl you met. She hasn't changed, time has. Celebrate your lives.

LIVE FULL. LIVE LARGE. LIVE LOVE.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      12 months ago from Chicago

      It should also not go unmentioned that many men have been known to marry single mothers and raise children who were NOT their own. There are also instances when a DNA test proves the child is not a particular man's child and yet he decides to stay in that child's life as a father figure.

      Some blood related fathers abandon their own children.

      This is especially true if they do not get along with the mother.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      12 months ago from Chicago

      I suppose it all depends on the country and culture one lives in.

      The average person in the U.S. loses their virginity by age 17. The average age of a first time bride is 27 and for grooms it's 29. Essentially most people here will have at least 10 years or more active sexual experience (prior) to getting married.

      Many people don't get married until they are in their early to mid 30s. We have over 11 forms of birth control along with the "Plan B" pill also known as "morning after pill" and abortion is legalized.

      Therefore there is no such thing as an unplanned (birth). Only the {woman} has the right to (choose) if she will go full term or not.

      There is very little social stigma to being a "single mother" or father so it is fairly rare these days for a man to marry a woman just because she is pregnant. The only "potential trap" is being forced to legally pay child support and that's if a DNA test proves it's {his} child.

      In the pursuit of equality many women here have sex on par with men. Neither gender is standing on holy ground when it comes to cheating. Even lesbians cheat on each other!

      Monogamy is a lifestyle choice and not a DNA code.

      For some people being monogamous is the equivalent of going on a strict healthy diet. It's not a matter of (IF) but rather (WHEN) they will cheat. This is true of both genders. In the U.S. we have popular TV shows such as "Cheaters", "Paternity Court", and the "The Maury Povich Show" AKA "You are NOT the father!"

    • Isivwe Muobo profile image

      Farrah Young 

      12 months ago from Nigeria

      Good writeup, but these words especially spoke to me:

      "When love fades have mercy on her and don’t treat her like trash. In due time things get better. "

      It's amazing how some men start to treat their wives like thrash a few years into the marriage when that initial high fades.

      I wish more men would get to see this so they know its not just unacceptable, it's also inhuman on so many levels.

      Really enjoyed reading this piece.

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