To The Girl Who Struggles With Speaking Her Mind
Being That Girl
It is hard having so many thoughts swirling around inside of your mind and yet you cannot form them into words. Expressing your emotions is something obsolete that only happens on a rare occasion. It is only on those rare occasions that you can form your feelings into coherent sentences and even then you might be misunderstood.
Your the quiet one. The shy one. The push over. The girl who doesn't really say no. The one who almost never seems to talk about her feelings or her thoughts. Its a lonely world inside yourself when you struggle to let everything out.
What Everyone Else Sees
To anyone who doesn't know you, your the quiet girl.
Maybe even to those who do know you, you are the shy one who doesn't open up a lot. Everyone else looking in from the outside only sees what you allow them to, which in reality, is not a lot. Your soul is as vast and endless as oceans but you only let them see the surface, not what is within you. If only they knew how loud your mind was compared to how quiet your lips stayed.
You are the girl who cries alone. Who struggles with her feelings in silence. Who can have a thousand things going on in her personal life yet no one would ever be able to tell. They would have no idea because you do not let them see it. You want to tell certain people. You want to shout it out to the world but the world only sees your surface, not your depth.
The Storm Inside Your Mind
The thoughts and problems whirl around inside of you, building up and creating a pressure that you cannot even begin to understand.
You want to tell someone. You want to talk to anyone at this point, but who will understand? Who will care? Is there anyone out there willing to listen to you attempt to say everything that you want to?
Repressed feelings can build to the point of causing stress, depression, agitation and many other issues.
Maybe, just maybe, if someone could look into your eyes they would see the storm brewing behind them. They wouldn't just ask, "Are you okay?" They would say, "I know you are not okay."
So many moments have passed you by from biting your tongue, afraid to say what is really on your mind. Because of this, the storm has continued to build and can become very fierce in your soul if you allow it.
Is It Possible To Overcome Your Fears?
It is not impossible to break out of your 'comfort' zone.
There is nothing comfortable about feeling like you could come apart in a million directions from all of your emotions yet we choose this feelings over the feeling of rejection.
There could have been a time where you chose to open up to someone and they turned away uncaringly. Or maybe you opened up to someone whom you thought cared and they used your feelings against you. Rejection and betrayal are scary, so instead of facing the possibilities of this happening, you bottled up your feelings and keep them to yourself.
I understand. I myself have been there.
It is possible to overcome your fears and move forward. To find the value and worth in yourself so that the rejection and the betrayals hurt just a little less. The negatives become slightly more tolerable and opening up doesn't seem so frightening anymore.
The first step is understanding that keeping everything inside is only hurting you. It can cause you more grief than simply venting it out and saying what you want. Say what you need to say when you need to say it. Don't miss out on opportunities that you will regret later because you were too scared to speak your mind. Confrontation isn't fun but pressure building inside of your heart and mind from lost moments will cause you much more harm.
Learning To Live Unafraid
Practice what you want to say in the mirror everyday and don't back down when the moment comes. This may seem silly but it will help prepare you to being more vocal and expressing your feelings. When someone says something that bothers you or hurts your feelings, tell them. Don't repress those emotions anymore. Of course, you still want to be respectful, but there are ways to tell someone to get lost politely.
Life is too short to be walking on egg shells around other people. Being the girl who is afraid to express her emotions is not a bad thing. It simply means you are a blank slate. You are the budding flower that only needs a little more sun and a little more rain to grow. Try things out, test your limits, and step outside of your comfort zone. Don't waste precious time being afraid to say what needs to be said. Don't hurt others feelings or your own because you feel obligated to keep everything inside in fear that you will hurt someone else. The best way to hurt someone is to lead them into believing something that isn't true all because you could not be upfront and honest with them.
It is a Journey for the girl who struggles with expressing her emotions, to learn how to live unafraid and open up to others. To take a stand and be more confrontational and vocal about how she feels and what she wants. It is a journey worth taking to find yourself in the midst of the chaos in your mind.