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To what extent do you believe one person should maintain the bulk of control in a relationship and who do you believe...

Updated on December 6, 2007

One should maintain the bulk of control if he or she is more of an expert in that area. Also, the personality plays a major part. One might be more dominant than the other though the other wouldn't really mind. In this situation, the dominant spouse has the bulk of conrol too. I believe like others have wrote earlier that if there's compromising and equality in a relationship, that's the best. Best of all, both partners must trust each other in their respected areas. It can be anyone who's actually maintainin the bulk of control as each and every household has different situations and scenarios. We definitely can't expect them to follow this or he must be in control since he's the better and dominant one. Fine, if he's better than so be it, but she must be fine with it too. If not, then it's no use.

Often, wives have control in kitchen and household stuff, like groceries and children and husband have control in financial areas and the rest. But this might not always be the case as you all should know. Both should be agreeable and have trust in each other to know that they can work it out, and there, your marriage will be successful.

Personality wise, of course the dominant spouse always have more control over most of everything, but so long as the quieter spouse is fine with it, then the marriage is ok because usually as is the case, if a quarrel is starting, the quieter spouse is the water while the dominant spouse is the fire if you know what i mean. Meaning that the quieter spouse is able to diffuse the tense situation much more easily.

As long as both partners are happy in their role and are able to compromise, the marriage is fine.


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    • sminut13 profile image

      sminut13 7 years ago from singapore

      that's a good marriage that you have there. for me, it's the opposite. my husband is the more dominant personality in our house. of course, house wise, it's up to me as i'm a house wife but as i'm not really good at it, mostly because i disilke it, we have our little squibblings here and there regarding this. he wants me to clean properly while i don't do it, but as he has the habit of nagging on and on repeatedly, that gets to me and boom, it's started lol

      but i agree with you. the quieter person will tend to do things better if the stronger spouse is doing it, partly because of guilt too i feel. hehe

      cooking, i'm not good lol i can cook to survive and make it edible but am not great, my husband is better but because he's busy, he doesn't do it often.

      thanks so much for responding, happy marriage^_^

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 7 years ago

      I find your topic very interesting.I am sure many others will agree.Some one has to be more dominate and take control over diferent areas.I am very happy to let my wife have control over different areas of our relationship.It makes things so much easier and you realize how much you need each other.I think in any relationship there is a give and take.I like to think the person best for the job takes control and does the job well.Then the other person also does certain things better because of the nature of the person.I love to help out but not always cook.My wife loves to cook and try different recipes.So the kitchen is hers to run and she does a wonderful job at it.Could I cook more probably.Would I enjoy it more.Probably not.My wife loves to try nre recipes and watch the cooking channels.I find other interests.It works out well.This is only one area of many that we often have a give and take.It works out for me and we are able to both do what we enjoy in the little time we have each day.