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tomodachi to omoiimasu

Updated on February 18, 2011

 “To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all desires; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it. We admit of course that besides a wife and family a man needs a few ‘friends’. -C.S. Lewis

I am in a journey. A journey of my choice. A choice I may not surely know the destination. Only, I envisioned it.

Albeit, I know that this journey will not be an easy one. On the contrary, it will be a journey of hardship and difficulties. Pessimistic I am not, I know how to look upon the silver linings of the gray clouds scattered upon my path.

This journey means that I have to leave my comfort zone and thread the unknown. It means taking risk and to open up to all possibilities. It means that I have to empty my cup and be filled upon.

And it means that I have to trust, albeit be vulnerable from those who, for one reason or another, did not desire that trust…or abuse that trust…or simply belittle that trust.

In my journey, I have some company. They too are journeying a parallel path with me. Our motivations are different from each others. Some are miles apart while some are nearly apart. Nevertheless, it is still apart. For our intentions are all motivated by our own desires. Some are selfish, some are true, some are noble, and some are just for the heck of it.

But damn me. Who am I to judge their desires. I simply do not have the right.

In this journey, we keep our others company. Some are forced and, again, some are true. The true ones are the vulnerable ones. Sadly. I belong to the latter.

Company is far different from friendship, of which I hope and pray will sprout upon this path of a desert. There is a degree of difference between these two.

Company thread upon an almost the same trail with friendship for friendship may spring upon a company. But the degree of intimacy and trust in friendship is far deeper than a company. A company may be kept for one’s own survival, yes, for one’s own selfish reason.

But not friendship. Friendship is always a two way street. It is my conviction that it is always characterized by a mutually helping behavior, a desire for what is best for the other, reciprocating and reflective dealings, sympathy, empathy, honesty, care, understanding, and most importantly…Trust.

Trust is the unbreakable bond that ties. For without it, friendships will not exist. An element of this ensures the entwinement of two or more humans until they all developed the same habits, same tastes and even thinking alike. How do I have known this? These are the element of friendship I had left in my comfort zone when I left for this journey. A friendship I sourly missed.

At present, the company I keep keeps me. I keep them for I hope upon friendship. They keep me for reasons I truly do not know. Judgment upon one’s intention was never my virtue. I always look upon one’s good heart and tends to withheld my judgment upon others misguided interests. I always hope for the best and never expect for the worst. Ah, now you know my little Achilles heels.

True, developing friendship requires risk. Like all other relationship that are far reaching, friendship requires emotional bond. Friendship comes third from spousal and filial relationship if level of time, effort, psyche and emotional investment requirements.

Risk means being hurt, or betrayed or frustrated. These are the operative words of these lowdown areas. There are many causal factors that brought along these effectual reactions. Maybe from an uneven level of expectations? Or feeling of unimportance? Unrecognized contribution? But these are the so-called growing up woes and wounds so to speak. These exist because it means the “friends” are not yet walking on the same footprints.

You might argue that even in deep friendship, these still exist. Yes, I concur. The intensity is even stronger in a friendship that had withstood the test of time as compared to those of lesser periods. But on the same breath, should these be natural for a supposed to be dynamic human interactions?

To philosophicise this great human interface might lead me to undermine it. Friendship is neither an art nor a science. For the greatest of friendship is mystery. Even the greatest philosopher, Aristotle, failed miserably in thoroughly understanding this human behavior in his article “Philia” under his book Nichomachean Ethics.

During my college days, our Social Philosophy class took a riotous road when it was discussed. The room shook and turned upside down. Thus, we never attempted to discuss “Love” as we were afraid we may astound the whole world. And so, I shall hold my breath.

At this point, I shall concur without ending. As I had said, my journey is still in the beginning. May this adventure develop ties that bond.

Live life my friend.


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