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Boyfriend Distracted by Hot Women

Updated on July 27, 2012

Casanova men don't marry

I was recently speaking a 30-year-old Casanova about his dilemma. During the past year, he has been dating a very stunning 30-year- old woman. He said that it’s the first time in his life that he’s actually been in love, and not only are they lovers, but he considers her as his best friend.

After a year of dating, his girlfriend feels that it’s time to move to the next stage of the relationship, which for her, is to move in together. She wants the two of them to plan their future, together. In other words, she hopes to marry, have children and own their own home. What’s wrong with that?

According to Casanova – plenty. He said that it is difficult to make a commitment.

When I asked ‘why,” he pointed to the fact that there happens to be many gorgeous women and he knows he would cheat on his girlfriend and that he wouldn’t want to be the cause of her pain. He also said that he’s not certain where he will be in the next couple of years or what his financial situation will be.

(No one knows if they’ll wake up the next day, but they assume they will.)

I asked him if he could envision his life without her in it. He said, “No.”

I couldn’t help thinking that if he truly loves her and feels she is his best friend, then why wouldn’t he give moving in together a shot?

Casanova said that he enjoys living where he is, not too mention his lifestyle. “If things didn’t work out, I would have to find another apartment, and it’s difficult finding a decent apartment in this city. Rents are much, too high. “Do you know that condo’s have a den and that occupants are renting the den out for as much as $1000.00 per month? Just to live in the city?” No, I wasn’t aware of that, but it seemed to be nothing more than an excuse.

I couldn’t help but to wonder about his girlfriend. What does she want and why is she putting up with him?

A couple of weeks after their first anniversary of dating, they had an argument about their relationship. She started with “Let’s talk about us.”

Casanova became annoyed. “We’ve had that conversation before. Can we just have a good evening without having to have that discussion again?

The girlfriend became upset. She promptly gathered her things and walked out. As far as she was concerned, the relationship was over. He was never going to be able to give her what she wanted. However, she made one mistake before she left. She forgot to take her heart with her.

Three days later, she returned and agreed to take things one day at a time.

But, why? Was she hoping he was going to change?

This is a woman who feels that time is slipping away. She’s in her early thirties and wants to plan her future. She feels her biological clock ticking and doesn’t want o miss out on the opportunity of having children. In other words, she wants a life.

Somehow, I doubt she is going to get what she wants from Mr. Casanova. I asked “Why are you still with him, if he’s reluctant to move in with you?”

She said she was afraid of making a mistake. “What if I leave him and end up regretting it? Perhaps, we need more time together before he’s ready to make that commitment.”

In other words, she is hopeful that things will change.

Women are strange that way. If there’s one grain of hope that her boyfriend will change, she will hang in there. It isn’t until the very last grain disappears that reality appears.

I deliberately did not give this woman a name because according to the Casanova’s I met, women aren’t exactly human. They're just hot.


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