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Too Many Marriages & Not enough Love

Updated on September 12, 2016
Lenora Haynes profile image

Lenora Haynes, an author, a writer and a committed mother who intends on helping with the rebirth and building of the urban communities.

Do you really Love your spouse?
Do you really Love your spouse?

How long can you stay married to someone you do not LOVE?

Is it me or is everyone jumping the broom these days? I mean don't get me wrong marriage is a wonderful thing, but only when it's genuine. When reality TV shows hit mainstream and became popular, shows like; Love & Hip Hop and Real Housewives, ditching your side dude/chick and finding your lifelong partner became the new it thing to do, but for whatever the reason marriage is back by popular demand, I hope that love is that top factor.

I don't want to make it seem like being married is a bad thing, because it's not, but marrying the wrong person for superficial reasons instead of pure love will not only ruin the heart, but it could change how you love therefore after. The world is changing, everything is moving so fast from the way we order food, shopping online, apply for jobs and even the way we date and finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with is more like speed dating instead of getting to know one another in depth. People are getting married after 4 months or 6 months and sure the heart wants what the heart wants, but make sure the heart will want it 20 years from now no matter what!

Imagine being married to someone that only wants to marry you for the car you drive, the career your in, the money you have or even worst just because of your sexual performance in the bedroom and not love at all, that would have to cause the ultimate heartbreak. Falling in love is not something that just happens and if you are lucky enough to find your love in one try, good for you, but for most, it just won't be that easy. Love takes time and it is certainly worth it. If you ever get a tiny taste of truelove it will feel like no love you have ever felt before and losing it will feel equal to walking through life as bird with a broken wing, not hey I'm over you, next!

Making a decision to get married because it looks good is highly overrated. I would have gotten married in my twenties, but each time the subject came up in my relationships I'd get sick to my stomach thinking about spending the rest of my life with a man I know I would not love at his worst and now that I'm older I realized I was a runner, I ran from marriage, because instead of going with the flow, I had to be honest with myself, that is just who I'am. Too many people are getting married before building enough love that will hold the test of time. Marriage is not about all the happiness the two of you bring into each others lives, it's more about growing each other after being tested and having the strength to reach out and pick your love back up.

Love is such a powerful word and without it a marriage won't work , you might last some years, but will you be happy more than you are sad?


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    • V Greenfield profile image

      V Greenfield 16 months ago

      I think people get married for superficial reasons because they're afraid. Maybe they're afraid of being alone or not being financially stable on their own. Either way I don't think it's good. I think that's also a reason why there are so many divorces now. People also don't understand what a marriage takes and then want to quit because it seems so much easier.