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Top 10 Break Up Reasons or Reasons for Divorce

Updated on February 21, 2012

Any relationship, especially the love relationship, depends upon many things, factors and reasons. When one of those reasons starts to deteriorate in a relationship; problem arises and if those problems are not avoided or cured, they became the reasons for break up or the reasons for divorce.

Following are some important break up reasons in a relationship:

1. LIES:

Lies, are the most important and catastrophic reason for the breakdown of any relationship. You cannot supposed to have a well-going relationship with tons of lies involved in it; it won’t last long and it is guaranteed. It is important to understand that a lie (It does not matter precisely when?) but it will be revealed sooner or later, and its effect may last forever. So, it is much better to tell a truth that may even hurt, because the hurt-effect-part will soon fade out. It is a proven thing.

And in some circumstances and situations, when to lie is must, make sure as soon as the circumstance passes, you yourself explain the entire situation to the other person prior to the fact that he/she finds the truth from any other source.

2. Not Trusting Your Partner:

In order to have a healthy relationship, one must have to trust his/her partner. I understand sometimes, it got difficult to trust someone blindly, but without it, your relation cannot last long. It will lead to such catastrophic arguments that a relation cannot afford to have. Following are worthy-to-mention trust quotes:

(i) “When you are in a relationship, you must trust to its full potential. In the end, either you will have an excellent relationship, or an excellent lesson.”

(ii) He who does not trust enough, Will not be trusted. (Lao Tzu)

(iii) The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. (Earnest Highway)

(iv) Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

3. Broken Trust:

When people start to speak lies or do such acts which break the trust in any relationship, the situation leads to the phase of distrust and the reverse counting of that relation’s days is deemed to start. No relation can ever be back in the position that it was, after the distrust phase starts.

It is a common saying:

“Trust is a like a glass; when it is broken, even though it may be repaired but there always will be a crack.”

4. Disrespect:

One of the major breakup reasons, is disrespect. A relationship is in between two people and it should be between two equal people. You may not agree with other person’s point of view, and you two can have a discussion and arrive at a better found result, you must give other person’s opinion a respect that it deserves. Not listening, not paying attention, abusing etc. are all different forms of disrespect and a relationship cannot last long without the respect factor being involved.

If we lose love and self-respect for each other, this is how we finally die.” (Maya Angelou)

5. Communication Gap:

One of the root causes of a relationship breakdown is the communication gap. It is one of those breakup reasons that many people just ignore, but the fact is; without communication in a relationship, it deteriorates and long-distance relationships seldom work.

It needs a huge amount of trust, independency, matureness and a high degree of understanding and compatibility to have a long-distance relationship working.

Communicate your thoughts, your inner feelings to your partner. Make the relationship work out, are the key ingredients to save it from a breakup.

6. Acts of Anger:

This MUST be avoided at any cost. In acts of anger, we say those things; we do those things that we do not actually mean; but it hurts and sometimes greatly enough to break a relationship. So, it is best to avoid any conversation during the anger phase because it is one of the most ignored breakup reason in a relationship.

7. Comparisons:

When in your heart, or sometimes even expressly, you start to compare the person you have with persons you do not have, the relationship is bound to be destroyed - sooner or later.

Be content with what you have, communicate your thoughts what you want, but do not go seeking and searching and come back home, with a grudge in your heart, and start fighting out of frustration. It won’t do any good and will eventually lead to frequent fights and even to breakup of the relation.

8. Lack of Transparency:

Sometimes, lack of transparency turns out to be an important breakup reason. You hide your bad qualities, start a relation and when the person meets the REAL YOU; things start to deteriorate. It is important to understand, that you cannot be an artificial person for the whole of your life, it is just a fantasy to be one. Unknowingly and unintentionally, you will act according to what you are. So it is better to be the real you even before you start a relation. The person, who is right for you, will love you the way you are and if he/she doesn’t, it means they won’t love you afterwards (because eventually you will be acting as what you are). Logical, right? So be transparent and do not let be this, a reason for divorce.

9. Misunderstandings:

Misunderstandings in a relationship turn out to be an eventual result of many things; communication gap, lack of transparency, lies, broken trust are some to be said. When all these things grow in abundance, misunderstandings are being created. These misunderstandings often carve a path for a third person, so better to avoid it. Otherwise, it will eventually lead to mental distress and become a break up reason or a reason to divorce.

10. Over to You:

I am not writing about the 10th reason for divorce. I am leaving it to you people. Usually I’ve seen and experienced the 9 above mentioned general breakup reasons. If you have seen or experienced, or you just know any other break up reason that is quite common; feel free to share it. I am leaving the slot for you people to fill, only because in this way, we can have many different opinions and reasons. Thus, the viewers will have a more diversified look.


What is the most important breakup reason or the reason for divorce?

See results

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    • profile image

      Zoey 5 years ago

      Long distant relationship broke up my marridge, husband and wife shud try and not be seperated,

    • profile image

      CHETNA 5 years ago


    • Hunbbel Meer profile image

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Vinaya: Haha! I hope you never face anything like that. And should I start hoping that when will you be getting married or are you happy being single? :P

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Homesteadbound: Thank you for sharing your valuable thoughts. It is always a pleasure to meet you :)

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 6 years ago from Nepal

      I appreciate your expertise on relationship, though I have not been pushed into divorce. (I'm not married yet. LOL)

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 6 years ago from Texas

      Many of the things you addressed really come down to truth and trust I think. lies - obvious. Trusting - truth would being trust. Not trusting - not being truthful will bring not being trusting. Lack of transparency is not trusting the truth will be accepted. These are just my two cents. Obviously, if someone brings things into a relationship and projects them onto you, there is very little that can be done about that.

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Scatteredmusings: Thank you :)

    • Scatteredmusings profile image

      Scatteredmusings 6 years ago from Brandon, Florida

      Great hub indeed!! communication gap!

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Sunshine625: I really can't say anything about that :P

      Thanks a ton for liking and voting up :))

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hubby #1's reason for a divorce: I'm just not happy and it's your fault. I'm going to see if the grass is greener on the other side. 15 years later....ooops still not happy. Grass isn't greener. Guess it wasn't my fault after all :) GREAT hub!!! Voted up!

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Ghost32: First of all, best wishes for you marriage, I hope you both be happy with each other, forever :)

      Secondly, this is why I left the number 10 slot, so as to get many diversified breakup reasons. I found No.6 and No.7 really very harsh on you :(

    • Hunbbel Meer profile image

      Syed Hunbbel Meer 6 years ago from Karachi, Pakistan.

      @Kamran210 & Subron7: Thank you :)

    • profile image

      Ghost32 6 years ago

      Good Hub, but I didn't vote--because most of my six divorces (yep, Pam is wife #7, these past 15 years and counting) were "inspired" by reasons not listed here. Here were the reasons in my case (I was always the one to leave):

      #1. Wife refused to grow, I was growing FAST, and the "lack of comprehension" gap between us just got too wide to bridge.

      #2. More than anything, a lack of interest in sex on her part...and an increasing difficulty she had emotionally with the number of times we moved.....

      #3. Jealousy and mistrust. She'd been seriously abused in her childhood and in her first marriage with the result that she "assumed" I was getting it on with half the County every time I was five minutes late getting home from work. (Note: I was entirely faithful the entire time we were together.)

      #4. She was, quite unabashedly, a control freak. I handed over the reins to my life for a year (the shortest of my marriages), and did learn some important lessons through the experience, but enough was enough.

      #5. When I came under attack from a family (sibs and associates of wife #1) whose clear intention and attempt was to see me dead, broke, and in prison--ideally all three--and I moved out of their immediate area as a survival tactic...she refused to follow. The 800 mile commute between us got to be too much.

      #6. This one...yeah, THIS one was a communication gap, all right. I told her we had a couple of issues I felt needed to be seriously addressed, she laughed at me and said, "I don't think so!"...and I started packing.

      That said, I'd like to underscore the fact that every one of the six ladies was entirely honest and trustworthy. Some of them did have affairs, but never without telling me--one the following day, but in every other case prior to the event.

    • SubRon7 profile image

      James W. Nelson 6 years ago from eastern North Dakota

      Good hub, Hunnbell Meer. I voted "Broken trust."

    • kamran210 profile image

      Kamran 6 years ago from Pakistan

      Misunderstandins and lack of trust