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Top 10 Worst Online Dating Questions

Updated on September 12, 2016
H Andelsmen profile image

H. Andelsmen realized her girlfriends were asking advice, often, because she herself has been through so much, so she decided to share.

Number 1 - Are you single?

Alright. I understand why some may want to ask this question. Many of the sites, or at least those that I have been on, offer a variety of options to select to represent yourself and your current status. It should be understood that all those on a dating site, should be available to in fact date, However, we all know that isn't necessarily the case. Some use it as a means to cheat. That is unfortunate. But, it really makes it difficult for those of us who are in fact there to date. Or attempt to. The result, is this. A common question surfaces amongst both male and female alike. Are you single? Even though it can be fairly easy to tell if someone is in fact available by their behavior patterns, some feel the need to just ask anyway. As if someone who is sketchy enough to cheat isn't sketchy enough to say they are single when they aren't. So yeah, I am sure asking this question is going to result in exactly what you want it to. On rare occasions will someone say, well no I'm not single is that a problem? A very high percentage of the time, you are going to get an answer like, if I weren't I wouldn't be here. Are they lying? Are they not? You still can't be sure. So why ask?

Number 2 - What brings you to the site?

Well, I was perusing the internet, performed a searched for: "biggest waste of my time" and low and behold, it brought me here. Or, I once replied, "I thought this was a website selling Valentine's Day decorations." What on earth would bring me to this site? Hmmm. Well, i just don't know. Apparently, I had aboslutely nothing better to do with my time. People, we are all there to meet other people. To do what with those people is the real question, but we all know why we are there. Don't ask dumb questions.

Number 3 - Why are you single?

You may as well ask them, "What is wrong with you?" Do not ask this question. See why here.

Number 4 - What do you do for fun?

Good question. Not. It seems to me that people start out trying to figure the other person out right out of the gate. Why? Why aren't there more people who start out by selling themselves? You can retrieve what they enjoy doing in other methods than just asking a mundane question, that everybody else on that site asks as well. How is that supposed to make you memorable? How does that make you stand out from the rest? A better approach would be to start with pointing out something from their profile and then adding on something about yourself. Something like, "Hey I watch Big Bang Theory too, my favorite episode was when Wolowitz was dancing to Dance Revolution, it cracks me up every time. Would you ever try that?" It lets them know you read their profile, it opens the door to conversation, and you just may learn that they hate dance revolution, they just enjoy watching it on tv. And there you go, you learned one thing they like to do, without directly asking what they like to do.

Number 5 - How long have you been single?

Folks, this is really none of your business. Whatever the time has been, it is obviously enough time for them to be there. So don't ask a question that you are in turn going to judge them for. What seems like an eternity to them, may seem like not long enough to you. Just steer clear of it. What if they have been single their whole life? Then you are going to turn around and ask number 3 and before you know it, you are the serial-site-attempt-to-dater who can not get a date because you ask all the wrong questions.

Number 6 - What is your favorite...?

Jeezus. Please sweet baby jesus, do not allow another soul to be such a loss for words that they must succumb to this. What is your favorite flower? What is your favorite color? What is your...anything. This is not attractive. This does not come off as you showing interest in them. This comes off as you are sending a message just for the sake of sending a message and trying to hold a spot in line. If I get this question, I usually come back with something like, "My favorite past time is throat punching mother truckers who ask me questions like this." Just don't.

Number 7 - What do you do for a living?

Again, too personal too soon (TPTS). Unless you are completely shallow and require someone have some specific income level before they deserve your attention, then don't ask this. If you are in fact that shallow, then put it out plainly on your profile. Make your screen name "Shallow" or "No Gold Diggers Please". If you are asking for logistic purposes, as in you would like to know if someone works the same shift as you because that would allow you to have time to spend together, then there are ways to find that out. Perhaps you can highlight yourself first, once again. For example one might say, "I have to get in this office and get some things done, I would like to pick up where we left off later this evening after I am off work and can focus my attention on you." This will force them to either agree or counter it with something like, "Well, I go in to work this evening so I won't be on here." You have firstly, given them insight on what type of work you do, so they don't have to ask you. Additionally, at least you find out that they work evenings, opposite of you and you are already having a difficult time communicating. But you didn't have to ask the question, what do you do for a living? Some, including me, may find that intrusive.

Number 8 - How many kids do you have?

I have written a whole other hub about this mess, see it here.

Number 9 - Have you had any luck on this site?

Ok, this as well as many of these other questions, have more to do with those of you asking than they do with anything else. This is more about your insecurity(ies). What luck anyone is having on a site, is none of your business. They are obviously on the site. If they have met someone, it wasn't a big enough deal for them to get off the site. Stop trying to put people on the spot. When I get this question, I try my best not to completely dodge it. Although, I do consider it as crossing a line. If I have met someone from the site, I will say such. If they ask if I am still in contact with them, I will answer honestly. But, If I have decided to see someone then I would no longer be on the site. I speak for myself obviously, but give them the benefit of the doubt. If they are dealing with multiple people at one time, that will become clearly evident without you having to ask. Just let it play out. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket either. This just makes you look, many things.

Number 10 - How many others am I competing with?

If you have to ask this, then you are competing with everyone. Including the milk man and the guy who comes to spray the apartment for bugs. What the hell, man? No pressure. First, what do you consider 'competing'? This is such a loaded question it is ridiculous. It can go a zillion ways. This is just not an area any of us should venture into. If you are guilty of asking this, stop. If you are on the receiving end, block them.

© 2016 HanDelsmen

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