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Top 13 Ways To Get Your Partner To Cheat On You

Updated on October 10, 2016
Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah is a writer, healer, and teacher. Her goal is to empower people to transform their lives from the inside out. Live your best life.


Your cheating heart

There are difficult times in any relationship. The longer you are together, the more likely it is that you will have some hard times.

Remember, if your partner cheats on you, it is not your fault. A cheating partner can only blame their own decisions, they cannot blame you.

However, there are certain behaviors, attitudes and activities that can drive you apart. If you do these things, you will likely increase the likelihood of your partner stepping out on you.

Be suspicious

13. Be suspicious of every friend. Try to read texts over your partners shoulder. Ask questions about all of his or her friends, acquaintances, and associates.

If you act like you don't trust your partner, then they will begin to get sneaky, just to get out from under your control.

If you want to look at his or her phone, read their messages, listen to phone messages and invade their privacy, then your partner will likely become much more secretive, just to protect her own privacy. She may have nothing to hide, but with you constantly looking over her shoulder, she will hide everything.

Trust and respect build safety and security, whereas suspicion and mistrust breed deceit and deception.

Close yourself off

12. Become closed physically and emotionally. If you want to drive your partner into the arms of another, then be sure to completely close yourself off.

Don't talk to her about your day. Don't share your feelings. Don't tell her what bothers you or makes you happy.

Don't hug or kiss him, and definitely don't be intimate. Wear heavy flannel pajamas to bed, just so he knows that he's not getting anything tonight.

Shutting yourself off, whether it is physically or emotionally, is a surefire way to help your partner feel neglected and unloved. Before too long, he will be telling the nice girl in his office all his deepest secrets, and she'll be wrapping her legs around the hips of the nice guy at the gym who really seems to care.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable and share yourself with your partner, to avoid calamity.


Stay busy

11. Never make time for your partner. If you keep busy, work long hours and come home too tired to talk, let alone kiss and hug your partner, then you are creating a wedge.

If you stay busy all day, running around until bedtime volunteering, shopping, visiting, and not saving any energy for your partner, then you are creating a wedge.

Relationships take energy. If you give the best of yourself elsewhere, then your partner will find somewhere to give the best of themselves too.

Save some energy for your relationship at the end of every day.

Complain about everything

10. Never be happy. If you begin complaining when you walk in the door, or when your partner gets home, then you could find yourself alone.

It's okay to be happy. It's okay to enjoy your life. Looking for little things to be irritated about is discouraging and disheartening.

If your partner thinks they can do nothing right, then they may stop trying to please you. You could probably find something to complain about, in any circumstance. Your partner can only take so much constant criticism.

Instead of complaining, look for reasons to be happy. It is your job to make yourself happy. No one can make you happy. You have to choose peace instead of strife.

Do not have fun

9. Forget why you like each other. When you are surrounded by kids, the house is a mess, and dinner isn't made, the last thing you may consider is why you even like your partner.

It's easy to lose sight of his strengths, when you are constantly complaining about all the things he doesn't do.

And you can't appreciate her attributes when you are always irritated with the way she talks or chews her food.

Make sure that neither of you ever has any fun, and you will suck the life right out of your relationship.

Tell your partner what you like about him or her, and you can rebuild what life has begun to erode between you.

Why are we fighting about this?


8. Constantly remind your partner that they don't measure up. Compare your partner to your dad, who was a great man. Or to your sisters husband, who never lets her down. Constantly remind him that he doesn't quite measure up to what you deserve.

Or tell your partner about the cute girl in your office with the terrific figure, who is smart and funny and who never complains. Tell her that she could stand to fix her hair, or her face, or her clothes. Let her know that she is lucky you still come home.

When you undermine your partners confidence, not only do you make them question their own judgement in choosing to be with you, but you also encourage them to spend time with people who make them feel good about themselves.

When you encourage and empower your partner, you validate and strengthen your relationship.

Don't show appreciation

7. Never show gratitude. If you want to alienate your partner, then make sure you never appreciate anything they do. And even if you do appreciate it, don't mention it.

Don't notice that she cleaned the house. Don't thank him for loading the dishwasher. Don't thank her for making you coffee. Don't say thanks when he scrapes the frost off your windows.

If your partner does nice things for you, ignore them. Always. This will certainly drive them away from you. Regardless of how significant or important the act was, do not say thank you.

Express your gratitude for the little things and the big things, to let your partner know you appreciate having them in your life.

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Let yourself go

6. Become a slob. It's okay. You're in a relationship. You don't have to try anymore. Don't fix your hair. Don't shave. Wear sweat pants and dirty, baggy t-shirts.

When you go to work, then, of course you want to dress to the nines, shaving close for a nice, smooth feel, putting on your nice clothes and even adding some cologne or perfume.

But why go to all that trouble for your partner? Your partner doesn't deserve all the trouble. And they don't even appreciate it when you do go all out.

When you let yourself go, whether its your hygiene habits, the way you dress, or the way you take care of yourself, what you say is you don't care. You don't care how you look and feel, and you don't care what your partner thinks.

If anyone deserves your best it is you. If you aren't willing to take care of yourself for you, then do it for your partner. They want to see you at your best too.

After the thrill is gone...

Do not communicate

5. Stop talking. Remember when you were dating and you and your partner shared your hopes, your dreams, and your fears? Remember when you used to ask about her day and you really cared what she said? Remember when you listened raptly as he shared his work struggles?

And now, you don't talk at all. When you do talk, you are mad and fighting. You complain about the kids, the house, the job. Instead of communicating, you talk at your partner. You don't listen and you don't respond.

Communication is an important part of any relationship. When you refuse to communicate openly with your partner, you create tension and stress.

Instead, try to open yourself up. It is okay to be vulnerable with someone you love and trust.

Fight. About. Every. Little. Thing.

4. Pick a fight whenever you can. If you want to discourage your partner, then start picking fights. Anything will do. You can fight about everything, if you'd like.

You can fight about how late he works. You can fight about her constant texting. You can fight about the toilet paper and toothpaste. You can fight about the kids, the pets, the neighbors. You name it, and you can pick a fight about it, and get yourself really mad.

Picking fights and arguing about every little thing is a sure fire way to alienate the person you love.

You can see peace, instead of this. Remember, you have a choice to be a victim, or to be peaceful. Choosing peace will benefit not only your relationship, but you personally as well.

You do you


Depend entirely on your partner

3. Lose your independence. Although it's nice to be wanted and needed, if you lose sight of who you truly are, in favor of depending entirely on your partner, you may create tension.

Your partner loves your independence. They love the fact that you have your own friends, your own hobbies and interests, and your own opinions. When you give up everything that makes you unique and interesting, then your partner may lose interest.

Take care of yourself and your relationship by maintaining a life outside of your partnership A little time away from each other can rebuild that fondness and desire that disappears when you're always around.

How to trust


Pants on fire

2. Lie. It's pretty simple. If you lie, if you are dishonest, if you are deceptive, this behavior is destructive to a relationship.

Regardless of what your partner is or is not doing, if you are lying and deceitful, they will catch on. They will find out. And they will be hurt. And if they catch you lying, they may fire back by becoming more secretive and lying to you.

Dishonesty is a vicious cycle. One of you begins, and the other retaliates. Instead, honor yourself and your partner by speaking the truth. Sure, it's hard, but it can save your relationship.

It's never too late to care

Choose again

1. Pick the wrong partner. If you and your partner hooked up when he was having "marital troubles" or when she and her boyfriend were having an argument, chances are, they will cheat on you.

When a relationship begins with one or both of you cheating on someone else, this is not a good omen for a long term partnership. Of course, people can change, but you will both be suspicious of each other, and you will both always be thinking that the other may be cheating on you.

When you start thinking this way, then you begin responding and reacting as if it has already happened, further deepening the chasm.

Instead of starting off on a bad foot, choose a partner based on good, solid qualities that would make a healthy relationship.

It's not your fault

These are suggestions for how to make a relationship stronger, if you look closely. When a partner cheats, it is never your fault.

When you work together to build a strong partnership, you will still face struggles and difficulties, but you can handle them together and become stronger as a result.

When one or both of you is constantly eroding the foundation of your relationship, chances are, someone will cheat, and if not, the whole thing may collapse anyway.

At the end of the day remember:

1. Only you can make yourself happy.

2. You only have control of yourself.

3. You can change your perception and see peace instead of strife.

When you keep these three things in mind, you will be much happier with your life, regardless of what your partner is doing.



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