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Top Ten Ways Of HowTo Tell If Your Husband Is Stressed Out

Updated on October 24, 2010


10. He suddenly increases his nicotine &/or alcohol intake (whether or not he smoked, dipped, or drank previously.)

9. He makes Ed Bundy turn into Bill Crosby. (“Hey, woman, gimme those taters” becomes “Dear, could you please pass me the potatoes?”)

8. His patience dips lower. (“Why does this traffic light take so long to change?”)

7. He starts believing that there are forces at work conspiring against him. (“That traffic light is slow on purpose-it knows I have somewhere to be.”)

6. He ceases to be wrong. (“I most certainly did not install that incorrectly! The directions were miswritten, their pictures were backwards.”-note the continued used of proper speech.)

5. His tools fail to work. (“How can you expect me to put it together if I do not have working tools? This would go faster if the things worked right.”)

4. He is so distracted his hearing takes a dive. (Your daughter asks for a low cut dress and he hears a low cost press and says yes.)

3. He answers the house phone with his work greeting. (“Thank you for calling fill in the blank, this is insert name.”)

2. He pays attention less than usual. (He fails to notice you are wearing that lacy red negligee you bought for last Valentine’s Day.)

And the number one way to tell if your husband is stressed out-

1. He is so tired, he falls asleep mid-fondle. (“Ooh, you’re wearing that red set I like so much! Come on over here. Yeah, that’s nice. Zzzzzzzzzz.)

At this point you may as well roll over and give up for the night then make plans in the morning to give him the most relaxing day ever.


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    • Chaotic Chica profile imageAUTHOR

      Chaotic Chica 

      8 years ago

      minesgm~Thank you! All I can say is that it takes patience and a sense of humor to avoid taking his stress personally!

    • minesgm profile image


      8 years ago from Texas

      funny but true.. keen observer you are. Nice hub.. can't help but smile.

    • Chaotic Chica profile imageAUTHOR

      Chaotic Chica 

      8 years ago

      mega1~The first time my exhusband spoke with proper English, I actually laughed out loud. He got more angry at first then I explained why I was laughing. It actually ended the argument but it was something he did subconsciencely that I always knew was an indicator. Sorry about the other stuff!

    • mega1 profile image


      8 years ago

      The mid-fondle stuff, that's understandable and all too common, but what's really scarey is the proper speech - that would freak me out big time! Fortunately, it never has happened to me. Course, I divorced the only dude who would take the risk of full-time living with me and he wasn't doing any of this - just some other stuff that caused bruises - go figure.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Well I know my hubby is stressed Thanks for the hub chica!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Oh I laughed at "when the tools fail to work" I cant not tell you how many times the hammer was crooked or something. I guess Im lucky in a way, my hubby never wants sypmathetic conversation. Just a nice half grope and some sleep. =) great hub.

    • Chaotic Chica profile imageAUTHOR

      Chaotic Chica 

      8 years ago

      Paradise7~That is the true trick of being a wife; telling the difference between whether he needs space and patience or sympathectic conversation. Either way he does need an understanding wife, not a self-absorbed one.

      Carolina~My dear husband works very, very hard and he has a lot of demands on his time. The last has happened but while I struggled to not laugh outright then and there, I think I actually loved him more then because I knew he was as tired as he was because he wants the best for us. He made up for it later though! LOL

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 

      8 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      Haha... if he falls asleep mid squeeze, he definitely needs some relax time alright!!! LOL

    • Paradise7 profile image


      8 years ago from Upstate New York

      So true, so true. The poor guy. The thing to do is really just back off until he's got it together again, and it could be a wait. Sometimes talking, drawing him out, helps; other times he really just wants to be left alone to work through it by himself.

    • Chaotic Chica profile imageAUTHOR

      Chaotic Chica 

      8 years ago

      SwiftlyClean~thanks for commenting! I'm glad you found it witty. Humor goes a long way towards achieving patience and when your hubby is somewhere else mentally, it's good to look at from a lighter point of view to help put in perspective so as not to take it personally. We women are really good at that!

    • SwiftlyClean profile image


      8 years ago from Texas

      Great and witty.

      What a great laugh but some are so true.


      Sharon Smith


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