- Gender and Relationships
Top reasons for divorce- valid and compelling!
‘Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers.’- Gerald F. Lieberman
You should save your marriage at any cost. It is very easy to let go your married life in haste and repent about it later. But sometimes you face certain situations in your married life when you feel you cannot live with your spouse any longer.
Varied tastes, non adjustability, intolerance, outgrowing your spouse are all feeble reasons for divorce. It is strange that modern couples find it very easy to throw away their marriage for the silliest of reasons. When you divorce for innocuous reasons, you make a mockery of your love and the years you spent together.
But there are valid reasons for divorce. In such extreme cases you should analyze your married life and if you feel that things have gone to a point of no return, you indeed can divorce your spouse.
What are such valid reasons?
- Psychopath behavior
The above mentioned reasons provide valid and compelling grounds for divorce.
When the infidelity level is just a temporary physical fling, you might forgive your spouse, but when he\she leads a double life, it causes you incredible agony and you crumble inside questioning the sanctity of your marriage.
When it becomes a procession of continuous extramarital flings, you cannot bear it any longer. You cannot keep mum at this stage of deterioration in your relationship. But when you argue and fight with your spouse, the main sufferer is going to be your children.
The bitter fights and arguments in your family have signs of complete lack of co ordination between both of you. ‘What should I do in such a traumatic situation?’ you ask yourself an umpteenth time. You should confront your spouse about it and if he\she comes to reasoning, you can try to forget the distress he\she caused for the sake of your children.
But if he\she is not ready to mend ways, it is impossible to save your marriage and the ruthless truth is you are in brink of a bitter divorce.
Desertion and abandonment
When your spouse does not look after you or your children and literally deserts you, you are confused about the future of your marriage. He\she just disappears from your life and you are battered by the callousness your spouse shows in deserting you just like that.
‘We had debts because of the loss in my husband’s business. The people who lent us money started pestering us. Do you know what my husband did? He just left us in the lurch and it is seven years since he disappeared. I now consider him dead’ my friend told me when I met her after a long time.
Such desertion and abandonment make a mockery of marriage and is a valid ground for divorce. You marry out of trust that your spouse will be there with you in all ups and downs of your life. But when he\she leaves you high and dry and you are made to fend for yourself, what is the reason for you to stay married to that person?
Betrayal of trust
Cheating destroys the sanctity of marriage. When you find your spouse leading a double life, your trust in him\her is shattered and you fall apart inside by the betrayal. Though having illegal contacts and having children out of marriage has become a common occurrence, you cannot digest the disloyalty of your spouse.
Loyalty and trust is very essential in married life for you to have peace and happiness. When the essential loyalty is destroyed, your married life becomes meaningless and worthless. Deliberate betrayal on the part of your spouse, thinking that you are a dimwit who knows nothing about his\her illegal connection is the highlight of callousness of your spouse.
This is yet another valid reason for divorce as everything crosses the boundary. Though it is self destruction on the part of your spouse to lead a second life, you need not live your life in agony and anguish while he\she just throws off everything in your marriage.
In India, some parents heartlessly hide the disability of their son and leave the life of a poor girl lose all the happiness due to her. In a country where arranged marriages are prevalent, this problem was once a cause of great mental pain in the girl’s life. But now with education and financial freedom girls have gathered courage to opt out of such marriages. Such marriages are better annulled.
When your spouse deliberately uses physical violence with the intention of endangering your life, you should immediately step out of such marriage. He\she might brandish a knife to hurt you or your children. Get out that marriage as you or your children will never be safe.
Divorce should be avoided at any cost, but these are some of the valid reasons which make divorce the only option. If you divorce for silly reasons you lose the peace of a happy marriage, but if you stay in a marriage where your life is at stake, you can never have a moment of peace.
© 2013 mathira