- Gender and Relationships»
Top reasons why your wife fights with you over household chores!
‘I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.” – Jarrod Kintz
‘Will you bring me a glass of water?’ I was in the kitchen when I heard my husband call out. I immediately rushed to obey his commands. I never for one moment thought that he was ordering me about and felt it very natural to do such small services to him. Can you imagine such a scenario in modern marriages?
Husband was once the lord of the family
During my days’ household chores was a woman’s prerogative while the husband was the lord of the family. How times have changed! Are you a husband who thinks that your wife should slave at home while you laze around? Your modern wife never accepts it and argues with vengeance when you do not help her.
Why have woman changed so much?
Why has your wife and in fact most women changed so much? Do you know that sharing household chores has become a topic of bitter arguments between couples and one of the top reasons for divorce? What has happened in between that women are vociferously demanding that their husbands also share their household work burden?
During yester year’s woman had the luxury of staying back at home while her husband was the sole earning member of the family. She did her household work and had time to relax till her husband and children returned home. But mind you, she had tons of household chores as there were no such modern gadgets to ease her work!
Your wife has become very confident and self assured!
But today modern woman venture out to work and contribute equally to the financial betterment of the family. She enjoys financial freedom unknown by her yester sisters. Your wife does not depend on you for her personal needs as she too earns as good as you. Financial independence instills in you great self assurance and confidence. So naturally your wife has become very self assured and self confident and looks eye to eye with you.
She demands equal rights in every aspect of marriage and one such demand is that you must divide the household chores between you so that she too can have some rest. Quiet a normal wish, isn’t it? You have no rights to treat your wife as your maid, born to do service to you. She is an individual with her own wishes and inclinations and you should respect it.
You need her money to manage the family!
Will you be able to manage your family with your earnings alone? With inflation at the peak, it is impossible for you to look after the family expenditure, your children’s education, save for your family and maintain a good standard of living.
However much you might earn it never seems to be enough. It is your wife who lends you a helping hand when she goes for work and slaves in workplace to bring in that extra money to give your family a good status in the society. She has work related stress just like you, she is tired and fatigued just like you and she needs rest just like you.
How can you expect her to slave in her workplace to come back to slave at home also? She is not a machine to mechanically do her work without tiredness. She is very human just like you and all she wants from you is care and sympathy for her tiredness.
She feels used and uncared when you hide yourself behind the newspaper or plump yourself before the laptop or TV. She literally fumes with frenzied anger at your callous behavior and when tiredness overtakes her she erupts in fury and fights with you bitterly.
She feels your love when you share her work!
You should help her in household chores with willingness so that she feels cared by you. When you look after your children she gets a few moments of reprieve. Do you know that lending her a helping hand in all household chores is one way of showing your love for her?
You need the money she earns, don’t you? You do not have any prestige issue in accepting her help for the financial commitments of the family. But why do you feel it demeaning to share her household work? It does not humiliate you in any manner when you help your wife. In fact it shows you as a very humane husband who empathizes with your wife to make her feel your full fledged love.
© 2014 mathira