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Top relationship mistakes- Casual and unknowing blunders!

Updated on December 6, 2013

Lots of relationships fail because we spend more time pointing out each other’s mistakes and not enough time enjoying each other’ s company.’ – Unknown.

Marriage which gives you so much of pleasure can turn nightmarish when you make certain relationship blunders. You never do it on purpose, but the damage it does to your relationship is destructive and sometimes irrevocable.

Why do you commit such blunders?

  • You take married life very casually and overlook the essential need for certain niceties for its survival.

‘Is marriage so solemn that I should take it seriously?’

  • Yes, your marriage needs your attention always.

‘Can’t I be natural with my spouse? Do I have to put on an act and behave unnaturally?

  • What do you do consider to be a natural behavior? Is it being uncaring and insensitive to the emotions of your spouse natural? It definitely is not!

When you found it easier to put your best forward when in love, why is it you become so inattentive to the needs of your spouse after marriage?

What are some of the top relationship mistakes you make?

  • Taking your spouse for granted
  • Breathing down the neck of your spouse
  • Treating sex as a weapon
  • Being too calculative

Though you never plan to act in such a way towards your spouse, you do it daily, time and again till it completely intrudes into the happiness of your married life.

Taking your spouse for granted

Husband thinks from the male point of view, while the wife has her own womanly views. You are totally focused on your own view point that you forget that the thinking of your spouse might be entirely different. Husband thinks household chores and looking after the family is his wife’s prerogative while wife wants her husband to be at her beck and call always.

You should treat your spouse as an individual and give respect to the inner feelings of him\her. Unless the inner cravings of your spouse are satisfied there can be no true happiness in your marriage.

Breathing down the neck of your spouse

Just because you are married, it does not mean your spouse cannot have any privacy. Privacy is so precious, that when denied it can cause immense bitterness and resentment. Your spouse is an individual and should be respected for his\her need for some ‘me time’.

When you breathe down the neck of your spouse and clamor for all his\her free time it does not in anyway help your marriage.

Mistakes of wives

Do you check the whereabouts of your husband and keep calling about where he is? Do you demand to be taken out even when he is not in a mood? Do you cling to him and make him feel shackled? You husband will never enjoy your presence if you do so.

Mistakes of husbands

Do you not allow her to have some rest time and demand to be attended to? Do you insist on sumptuous meals even when she seems tired? She feels frustrated by your uncaring attitude.

Both are wrong in their outlook and unless you give some breather to your spouse you can never make him\her fulfilled in marriage.

Treating sex as a weapon

Sex is to make you come closer in love and should not be treated as a trump card to have things done your way. Woman makes this grave blunder casually, not thinking of the hatred it instills in her husband’s mind. You demand certain things and deny your husband the pleasure due to him. You literally tantalize him into submitting to your blackmail. A very wrong thing to do!

Man makes the mistakes of treating sex as his right and does not care for the mood of his wife. When there is an argument between you, you think that satisfying your wife physically is the true way of making up. No explanations! No cajoling words! No apology! Do you know your wife feels repelled by your attitude?

Being too calculative

You can never be calculative in marriage. You calculate about the money earned by your spouse, you calculate about his\her private spending, you calculate about his\her financial help to her\his family. You do not have a moment of peace when you calculate too much.

You even calculate the percentage of work shared and make a big scene when you feel that there was less contribution from your spouse. You calculate that he\she spends too much and does not contribute that much to the family and make it into a fight.

Marriage is not business deal that you have to be calculative, but a home which should have plenty of love, care and happiness to make your marriage successful and meaningful. Just do away with the mindless mistakes you make and reap excellent harvest of shared love.

© 2013 mathira


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    • mathira profile image

      mathira 4 years ago from chennai

      MsDora, thank you for your encouragement. You are always so.

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 4 years ago from chennai

      billy, thank you.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 4 years ago from The Caribbean

      A very good presentation, Mathi. Your points are well-established and you always find some powerful quotes. Thank you.

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 4 years ago from chennai

      Lady Summerset, marriage is indeed tight rope act and those who know the trick of doing it enjoy all the happiness of marriage. Thank you for the visit.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Excellent information and suggestions. Making a relationship work takes hard work and dedication, as you have pointed out so well.

    • Lady Summerset profile image

      Lady Summerset 4 years ago from Willingboro, New Jersey

      This is a very interesting subject. One that I've heard debated through many Church couple seminars, retreats, and conferences. You've hit key points that will cause much tension and stress, if couples are not careful. Some days marriage is definitely a "tightrope" act!