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Top ten common mistakes couples make! Avoid it!

Updated on October 28, 2014

The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” - Fawn Weaver.

Marriage relationship needs love, care, commitment and responsibility to make it work! You want happiness in your relationship, but you do not understand that you should contribute towards it. Both should retain the love you had for each other during your dating days. There should be commitment and accountability in your relationship.

But modern couples do not have the patience to make their marriage a success. Work related tension and hectic work schedule drain your energy and you do not feel like interacting with your spouse. When there is no communication the rift between you widens.

Bitter arguments, harsh words, maladjustment, intolerance and incompatibility are the order of the day in today’s marriage. It is as though two enemies are residing in the same house.

Why are you finding it difficult to retain the love you had for each other? Why does your marriage lose its sheen and glow after a few months of marriage?

What are the common mistakes you make in your married life?

  • You want your spouse to change according to your wish.
  • You play the blaming game.
  • You take the anger of your spouse word by word.
  • You see things from your viewpoint.
  • Modern technologies have taken over your time.
  • You do not demonstrate your love openly.
  • There is no transparency in your interaction.
  • You discuss your spouse with your friends\colleagues\relatives.
  • You do not pool your money together.
  • You live like two islands

1. You want your spouse to change.

You have certain perceptions about marriage and expect your spouse to change according to your whims and wishes. You fail to understand that your spouse is an individual and not a robot to do things according to your way of thinking. You should not interfere in the individual inclination of your spouse. You should also let him\her have enough freedom to do what he\she wishes to do. This makes your married life lot easier to live.

2. You play the blaming game.

You take a magnifying glass to look at the faults of your spouse. You argue and fight over minor faults. You forget that in the process you ruin the happiness of your marriage. You should overlook the faults of your spouse. It makes your relationship relaxed and comfortable.

3. You take the anger of your spouse seriously.

You take the words spoken in anger literally and think that your spouse meant each and every word he\she said. Words spoken in anger are always superficial and meaningless. You should forget it then and there and not keep brooding about it.

4. You see things from your viewpoint.

You do not understand the world of your spouse. You are in the dark about his\her expectations and perspective. Husband should see things from the perspective of his wife and wife should see things from the viewpoint of her husband. Such understanding goes a long way in knowing what your spouse expects from you.

5. Modern technologies eat your time.

When you squander your free time at home with your mobile or laptop, you waste the precious opportunity of spending quality moments with your spouse. Togetherness is very important in bonding your marriage with love and care.

6. You do not demonstrate your love.

You do not demonstrate the love you have for each other. Guessing games in marriages always leads to the misconception that your spouse does not love you. You should show the love you have for your spouse openly and implicitly.

7. There should be transparency.

When you have too much of secrets between you, it is a clear indication that not all is right with your marriage. When there is trust, you want to confide in your spouse and this confidence is the essence of good marriage.

8. Do not backbite about your spouse.

Do you discuss about the personal issues between you and your spouse with your colleagues or relatives? This is a very wrong attitude! You are virtually letting your spouse down when you talk behind his\her back. If you have any issues with your spouse it should be resolved within the four walls of your home.

9. Pool your money together.

You blame your spouse for any financial down slide and he\she retorts back saying that it is your entire fault. Both indulge in mutual mudslinging and in the process forget to put your heads together to solve the problem. When you earn for the betterment of the family it is very essential that you pool your money together and share all the financial commitments with mutual involvement.

10. You live like two islands.

When the initial sheen of your love wears off, you do not smile at each other, do not admire, do not appreciate and do not share your feelings. In fact you live like two islands. You live in your world and your spouse lives in his\her world. When you become total strangers towards one another there is nothing exciting in your marriage.

Retain the freshness of love always.

When you were dating, you were one in thought, first to appreciate, instant in apologizing and completely focused on each other. Why do you reverse your behavior after marriage? You become opposite to your spouse in thought, forget to appreciate, hesitate to apologize and become diversified from one another.

Why does this happen to your marriage. After marriage there are lots of responsibilities which you never thought existed. It makes you tense and stressed. Instead of sharing your commitments you lose interest in your marriage and drift away from one another. You can make your marriage work with perfection only when you keep your feelings towards one another fresh and new.

© 2013 mathira


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    • Rich11 profile image

      Richa 3 years ago

      great hub

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 4 years ago from chennai

      Thank you, Eiddwen.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      Interesting and useful .

      Voted up.