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Top ten ways to avoid divorce!
Whatever might be the reason for your divorce, you feel a pang in your heart when you decide to call it quits. What happened in between to make the love you had for each other disappear? Who is in fault? Have you ever asked this question to yourself?
Do you ever understand that your children are confused as to why you have decided to part ways? Divorce is a heart rending experience for your children as they lose the emotional security they enjoyed when you were together.
Can divorce be avoided? Your marriage can work only when you give your relationship special attention! Unless there is dedicated contribution from both, your marriage will never work.
What should you do to avoid divorce?
1.Nurture your relationship
Your married life cannot be a success unless you nurture your relationship with your spouse. When you completely ignore the inner needs of your spouse you never really know what he\she expects from you. Can you be successful in your profession without your input of hard work? You cannot! It is the same with your marriage! It needs your care and love to bind you together.
2. Communicate and keep communicating.
Lack of communication makes your married life an intolerable existence of two lives. Before marriage you spend many hours talking about everything under the sky. Why is it after marriage you forget to communicate? It is no use if you talk about mundane day to day matters. Very dull and boring! Rekindle your love by talking about your courtship days, your love for each other and about the happiness your children give you. Small talk with your spouse!
3.Don’t be too focused on yourself
Do not thrust your opinion on your spouse and expect things to be done your way. If you do so your spouse feels resentment against you snowballing into hatred. Your spouse is an individual with his\her own inclinations and whims. Your married life becomes beautiful when you adjust to the diversified thoughts of each other.
4. Spend quality time together
Do not return from work to spend your free time either before the TV or to recline in the bed to have a quick nap before dinner. Of course you are tired! But this does not mean you should spend your time at home away from your spouse. Share what happened in your work place, ask eagerly about how the day went for your spouse and enjoy fun moments with your children.
5.Are you indifferent? A marriage wrecker!
Do not show indifference to the views of your spouse as it hurts and makes him\her feel left out. Always discuss family matters together so that you feel emotionally close to your spouse. Reassuring your spouse when he\she is feeling dejected is another way of showing your love.
6.A big ‘no’ to degrading comments
You can tease your spouse in a loving manner, it is pure fun! But degrading comments evokes a sense of understandable sadness in your spouse. If your spouse is on the plumper side, you can tease jokingly, but if you start a sermon of how bad your spouse looks with those extra pounds then you border on verbal abuse.
7. Overlooking the goodness of your spouse
Appreciation is the manna of your married life. Appreciate the good qualities of your spouse and enjoy the happiness and closeness it gives. When you appreciate your spouse, he\she feels that you acknowledge the contribution he\she makes towards the family.
8.Too much of expectations
Do not have too much of expectations in your married life as expectations have no limits. When your expectations fall shorts you feel frustrated and your frustration makes you feel deprived. Loving your spouse with all his\her faults and drawbacks is yet another intricate side of a good married life.
9.Take care of your appearance
Maintaining and grooming yourself is another way of making your marriage a success. When you look good, your spouse is interested in you and this attraction is much needed for a marriage to survive. If you present a shabby appearance your spouse feels completely dissatisfied which is very natural.
10.Never asking forgiveness
Asking forgiveness when you are in the wrong minimizes the hurt and resentment your spouse feels. Never feel egoistic to say sorry. When you say sorry it shows you care and when you show your care it induces a feeling of love in your spouse.
Do not let the love you had for each other dry up. Keep the embers burning by showing your love and care. Divorce makes you feel lost and your children lose either a loving mother or a caring father. When there are so many ways to make your marriage work, why do you want to opt for divorce?
© 2014 mathira