Torn Jeans: a Girl and Guys’ Real Kryptonite
There was a Time
in the near-distant past when America was under siege with a fad with the “Blue Jeans Attack,”and this was the talk of the town. TV and radio ads ran ads about certain brands of jeans; Movies promoted blue jeans and made this clothing the “stars” of the show and this was all due to the “Nation-wide Truckers Craze” (just ask C.W. McCall) that quickly-led to another “monster” fad: the “CB Radio Storm,” that was present from the east to the west coast and all areas in the mid-west—you could literally step out of your home and couldn’t throw a rock without hitting a fellow CB radio fanatic. It was the most amazing happening besides the Beatles invaded Shea Stadium in 1964.
And yes, the truckers and CB radio fans mostly wore blue jeans. I wish that I could put jeans into these two categories, but the jeans did run a hot third in the popularity of our nation. I have to admit that I had a CB radio in my car and I loved it. And if you had a CB radio, you had instant-friends and help from anyone if you had any trouble. What a time to live in the 1970s when you are (nearly) young, owning a CB, and wearing your favorite jeans in America.
Blue jeans had an identity all their own. Jeans was formerly the signet of rural America, but in the “CB Craze,” they stood for power, popularity, and never going out of style. We can add thanks to the folks who wrote, directed, produced, and starred in “Urban Cowboy,” with Debra Winger and John Travolta—who both wore jeans every time that they were on the camera. All of the folks inside Gilley’s, (formerly the World’s Biggest Nightclub) all wore jeans as well as the musical entertainment. It was like watching a tsunami overtaking our nation, but without the property damage.
Alas, This Piece is not
about CB radios, truckers, and Urban Cowboy. This hub is strictly about jeans, but in this case, the jeans’ main (and most-serious) problem: ripping and tearing in the crotch and back end. I know that these terms may sound vulgar, but I couldn’t write them any way but honest because if there were a medical term, you couldn’t understand them.
The most-caring and jeans’ wearers had to live with “that” always-present of when they would rip or tear right in the public and YOU and your friends (who did love you, but laughed at you anyway) and were quick to console you later. I know that jeans ripping and tearing is nothing but a natural occurrence and the incidents pose no problem to human, animal, or plant life, but they happen. Probably somewhere in the world a pair of jeans is ripping and tearing even as I speak.
But there is one thing that an amateur jeans wearer has to keep in mind: you had best hope that the tears and rips come NOT in the crotch and butt area, but in the leg of your best jeans. This type of tear and rip is not that embarrassing. And for that, the jeans wearer’s image and popularity are left intact.
When a jeans wearer’s jeans had an accidental rip or tear, it always comes at THE worst time possible. Jeans never rip or tear in the safety of the home, but in the eyes of the public, and although most people in the public are as understanding as they can be, but all in all, when a good looking guy is all dressed-up and feeling great—his hair is perfect and he has one, good looking, hot girlfriend who adores him and drives a very slick Corvette convertible. No wonder that this guy is walking “on Cloud Nine.”
In Most Times, Jeans
are ripped or torn in slow motion. Have you ever watched that? I have. In fact, I was wearing a pair of sport slacks in the 10th grade and before school was out, my slacks ripped in the crotch area, but (in those days) I was able to think swiftly and pull my shirt out and let the shirt tails drape over the rip. Oh, sure. My buddies pointed and laughed at me, but understood my dilemma. Fact is, the rip could not have happened at the worst time. Our high school had just put a Dress Code in the student body and the boys were NOT allowed to wear shirts that were not tucked in, so yes, I did some sweating.
This was a mild example of how a guy can go from feeling good about themselves and when their jeans rip, their image is shot down and burned like a plane in a Dog Fight in WWII. The guy does not have adequate words or explanations to suit the people around him. Although he tries so much that he gets hoarse, still, he has to endure the ripped blue jeans. And no amount of laughing and thinking positive can free him from this open humiliation.
Guys who have encountered a serious “Jeans Rip,” have two choices: going home to change or endure the laughing and pointing from others. In fact, I do think that there is a good side that surfaces from a bad “Jeans Rip”: it builds character in the jeans wearer that he never had before.
Character? Am I that ignorant to write that a guy’s rip to the jeans in the crotch area gives the guy a strong character? Well let me elaborate. When a guy is cool, and has it all together, it is like he is Superman and that nothing can harm or beat him with whatever weapon that life has to throw at him.
This is true, all except a ripped and torn jeans to a guy almost puts him to the ground just like Kryptonite does to the DC Comics’ Superman. The green rock literally causes our hero to walk like an elderly man and even a 90-pound weakling can beat him easily in the squared circle.
Did you Notice That
in all of the verbiage above when I talked about the Males and their jeans facing that awful sound of R-R-R-I-I-I-P-P-P, because he instantly realizes that his good day (or date with his smoking hot girlfriend) is history. Have you ever had your smoking hot girlfriend to cackle and laugh in shrill tones while pointing at your torn jeans in the crotch? It’s more than embarrassing.
Now let us talk for awhile about the Girls’Rips and Tears in their blue jeans.
Actually, and with all sincere honesty, when a pretty girl rips her blue jeans in public, it is more of a way for her to make more Popularity Points, than for everyone to point and laugh at her—especially the guys who are frozen, unable to move a muscle. But with the girls, that is a completely-different story. The girl who is enduring her torn jeans has instantly created a certain dose of jealousy in the other girl onlookers.
So there you have it. The truth behind a guy and a girl. And ripped jeans are a human being’s Kryptonite—speaking just for the guys.
But as for the hot, pretty girls in torn jeans, knowing that these girls are smarter than guys, they simply go to their lockers and grab a pair of cut-off jeans and the crowd goes wild. All but the girls who hate her. Oh, yes. In high school, there is no rule for boys’ wearing cut-off jeans.
So proud of you, girls!
May 20, 2019_________________________________________________
© 2019 Kenneth Avery