- Gender and Relationships
Traditional Wedding Vows-Sacrilege or a Lifetime Commitment
Modern Marriage Philosphy
I may be about to express a hub on a subject that might be sensitive to some but nevertheless I'm jumping in with both feet and expressing my personal convictions on the age old union of a man and a woman. I'm from the old school and it is my conviction marriage revolves around a man and a woman, not two men or two women. In our state of North Carolina the issue will be on our ballots for our primary elections in May. Recent studies that have been done on traditional marriages indicate the divorce rate is an astounding 41.2%. What has happened to the idea of a life long commitment?
Although I'm not a marriage counselor nor purport to have any real wisdom on this subject, I have made some observations over the years. When most of us "boomers" as we are often called were married, we went through the normal process that involved courtship. The blessed times when we as young couples got to know one another. Our choice in a mate could well have been a lifelong friend or classmate or maybe perchance the proverbial love at first sight of one seen across a dimly lit room. We shared so many common bonds and ideals. Among those were beginning a family, getting our first house, finding good jobs to attain and support those goals. Most of all we were in love with one another and could hardly stand the thoughts of being apart. There were the smiles and simple things like holding hands, sharing one Coke with two straws, a twinkle in our eyes that revealed a deep love and a level of commitment that could stand the test of time. Is it any wonder in our wedding vows, we promised each other to love and cherish one another, in sickness and in health and poverty and wealth?
For many of us we have seen the whole order listed in our marriage vows unfold before our very eyes yet for some of us, ours have stood the test of time (40 years soon for me and my bride) with the same glue that knit our hearts in the very beginning. Marriage takes commitment and there are the good times and bad times, disagreements, disappointments and discouragements. Whoever said marriage is a 50 50 proposition didn't have a clue. One of my favorite movies was Love Story and in this movie the line "Love means never having to say you're sorry" comes to mind as I write. The real truth is we all have to say,I'm sorry" many times in our lifetime because it is inevitable two personalities regardless of the emotion of love will sometimes have conflict and difficult times where words are said in a moment of anger or frustration that damages relationships. We all hate the fighting but not enough can be said about the forgiving and "making up." Without compromise, give and take by a couple, I venture to say that percetage of failures would be much higher than the current 41.2%.
I see so many young people these days who are plenty smart with above average initiative and who have been bitten by the love bug yet are clueless when it comes to the moral values which are the traditional ones of marriage. Our society now accepts and condones a new "morality" where "experimenting and a trial period" of co-existing doesn't even turn head. We who hold to the traditional values are labeled square and old fashioned.
In my estimation, many have made a mockery of a most sacred pact. My beliefs and they are just that, my own, a marriage is a holy union between a man and a woman. A union first performed by God in Eden's garden when from Adam's side a rib was taken and "Woman" created from Man. The union was blessed by the Blessor of all mankind.
Society seems to have degraded the marriage institution in our culture. Regardless of my opinions, this will probably not change and we will continue to see high divorce rates. Our society accepts values that are tainted and the "white" wedding gown once worn to indicate chasteness and purity no longer represent those values once held dear.
What then makes for a lasting marriage relationship? As a Christian, I look to the Bible for those answers. Marriage must first be a relationship that has Christ at the center. Partnering with Christ as the Head of the relationship. In our Bible we find that the marriage institution is the one utilized to describe the relationship of Christ and the church, He is the groom and the church (body of born again believers) the bride. The conditions are simple yet cannot be compromised. Theses values are commitment,fidelity,mutual love and respect and a core of values that are based on the teachings of Christ.