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Trapped in an empty relationship

Updated on February 28, 2014

Lonely and Confused

Meeting someone that you fall deeply in love with is so very rare and to let go of someone is often not as easy as it seems. Confusion and complications keep you "trapped" in an unhealthy relationship that could waste years of your life and deprive you of eternal happiness.

For many the excuses are blaming yourself because you see leaving a bad relationship as a failure.

Money, children, being able to buy whatever you want, guilt and pride are the main reasons for couples to continue on in an empty relationship.

Love is an amazing gift and when you do find it, there is a connection, sense of safety, love, adoration, honesty and trust. Most of all there is a bond that nobody can break, you are the best of friends and yes, there are some challenges and lonely times but for the most part, you are happy, you are free and you feel loved.

Loneliness and a continuous feeling of doubt and entrapment, unhappiness and questioning your existence, is a relationship that is not working out and could destroy your well - being.

There are a few ways to find out if you are stuck or trapped in an empty relationship and ways to find your happiness and move forward.


Empty relationships can make you feel trapped
Empty relationships can make you feel trapped

Reasons to feel trapped

Money:

Money is the route of all evil, so they say and there is some truth to this.

Many people get into a relationship with a partner that will provide them with anything that their hearts desire. Being spoilt, pampered and treated like a king or queen can attract a person into being in a meaningless relationship. It is fun for a while but you might find that you have run out of things to buy or do and your partner has given you the means to splash out because it keeps you occupied.

He/ she might just want an object or accessory for convenience and would not really be interested in what you have to say or do. Great fun for a while but you do get lonely and there are times where you would want to share an experience with someone that is willing to listen.

Debt:

This can be a horrible adventure and you might find that your partner has asked you to get him/ her credit as they cannot get it on their own. Feeling so in love with the person, you do just that but reality eventually bites and you find that you are being used just for the sake of a name.

It could also be that you and your partner got into debt together and to find a way to separate the debts occurred, might be a hard and complicated task, keeping you in the relationship to avoid conflict.

Perhaps making a bad financial decision is what keeps you together and leaving your partner in financial ruin, due to your bad decision, is why you choose to continue.

Children:

Having children together could be the reason that you feel bound to your partner, children that you have not conceived, could be your reason to stay.

You do not want to abandon children that seem to like or love you and it is difficult to walk away from a relationship when there are kids involved.

Insecurity:

You believe that there is nobody else that will ever love you in the way that you are loved now, you might feel as though you are not good enough, attractive enough or stable enough to find someone new and this might be from a partner that has made you feel unhappy and worthless.

Family:

Perhaps you are the kind of person that does not let anyone down and previous relationships might not have been approved by family, leaving you to stay with someone that impresses your family, to avoid letting them down and disappointing them.

Pride:

The thought of him/her being with someone else could make you want to stay and fears of your partner running off with the guy or girl that did not think that you would make it, can also be a reason to want to stay in an unhappy relationship.

Illness:

Your partner could be suffering from a bad illness, leaving you to feel guilty and trapped to stay.

Abuse:

A partner can make you feel as though you are not good enough and that you need to be with him/her. Threats and damage to you physically or emotionally, can force you to stay trapped in a relationship.



Feeling empty and alone in a bad relationship
Feeling empty and alone in a bad relationship

Empty, Lonely and Unhappy Relationships

A blissfully happy relationship can turn into a sad, lonely and unhappy experience with one feeling trapped and unable to leave due to self doubt. Many of us have been in a bad relationship at some stage of our lives and there are some that have just not been able to settle.

In some ways you find yourself feeling as though you are the problem in the partnership and your feelings of loneliness and sadness stem from your own issues, pushing you to continue on and avoid the problems.

For many, you get caught up in the relationship and your deep love for a partner, that leaving is not an option and loneliness or feeling trapped is just a phase that you are going through.

How do you know when it is not you at fault and that you are trapped in an unhappy relationship?

Firstly, there is no such thing as being trapped. Every single one of us has free will to choose and make decisions that will affect our lives. Being trapped is a state of mind and nobody can be trapped, you can leave at anytime, it is up to you to make the move.

Loneliness and being in a partnership where you have been "one" for a long period of time, might make it extremely difficult to leave.

A loving relationship does have problems as no one person is the same as another. There are differences in opinion, opposite ideas and conflict in certain situations but great relationships can weather a storm with honesty and open communication, trust and loyalty.

Being a best friend is one of the traits in a good and healthy relationship. You should be able to tell your partner absolutely anything and they should be willing to listen and respond.

Loneliness comes from a relationship with bad chemistry. You are either unable to let your partner know exactly how you feel because you are afraid or because you know that he/she will not listen.

Work differences could also be a reason to feel lonely and your partner could have a job with unsociable hours, could be a workaholic or you find that you are both working on completely different clocks, so much so, that you have no time to communicate because you are tired or you have gone through this for so long that you have lost communication.

Being able to let your partner know that you feel lonely is something that should be easy to do. Work, kids and life get in the way but good relationships and partners make time for each other.

It is great to have an "alone day" to relax and do whatever it is that interests you and not your partner. Having this gives you the opportunity to do something without the moans and groans to go with it.

Spending too much time alone can also damage your relationship as a partner might enjoy being away from you or you find yourselves drifting apart.

Should you find that you never have someone to talk to or when you do speak, it falls on deaf ears and you can see the blatant lack of interest in what you have to say, then you need to rethink your situation.

Waking up and doing things for your partner is great but if you are unhappy and lonely doing it, then it is not worth it.

There is nothing worse than waking up and feeling deprived of affection, silence whilst drinking your morning coffee, work with no contact from your partner, coming home to silent dinners and having him/her fall asleep before you can tell the tale of your day.

Loneliness starts with a lack of communication between partners or being with someone that has absolutely no interest in you or what you are doing.

People continue on with excuses for their loneliness and many just push through and learn to accept that their partner is just not a great communicator but others continue to drift away slowly, until they cannot feel anything at all.

The empty feeling can make a person unhappy and they will either continue on until they eventually get captivated by the first person that shows interest or they will drift into a world of their own with a feeling of being dead, due to the partner being in coherent.

Loneliness leads to emptiness and that leads to unhappiness.

Unhappy people cannot enjoy their lives and they cannot meet good people because they become empty inside and show a lack of concern for anything.



An empty relationship happens when?

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How to tell if you are in a trapped relationship

Firstly, nobody is ever trapped as this is just a state of mind. We have the will to move and speak freely regardless.

A relationship that is empty is one where a partner shows not interest in your thoughts or ideas. Your partner will give up their time and energy for anyone but you.

They do not have the desire to spend time with you physically, emotionally or actively and finding yourself alone in situations where you need comfort is a sure sign that you are in an empty, meaningless relationship that allows you to feel trapped because your love is that deep that you think it might automatically be your fault or your over reaction in a situation.

The simple truth is that love is easy, free and filled with joy, adoration and time set aside for those we care to spend time with.

Tagging along, running around doing things that go unappreciated and getting an eyeball instead of a hug, means that you are in an empty and trapped relationship.

Trapped because you are weak and unable to see the light, empty because you are alone and have lost all sense of feeling as it has been that long that you do not know what true and deep love is all about.

Making time for the ones that we love is important, unless you are with someone that is self absorbed, a narcissist or someone that is with you for convenience, which in that situation will never allow you to feel true happiness or make you feel complete.



Trapped and lonely
Trapped and lonely

How to Leave a trapped and unhappy relationship

There is no mending a relationship that has left you to continuously feeling alone , empty, unhappy and unloved.

Should it be that you work crazy hours and your partner does make a little effort then great, you can work on things if he/she is willing to listen and try.

Relationships that you have already attempted to fix but have not been worked on, are ones that you need to leave as if your partner cannot listen, learn and try then it means that they are not interested in you, they do not love you or they are incapable of love due to past experiences,(in this case you should seek therapy.)

For those who are just oblivious and insensitive to your feelings, you need to walk away and set yourself free as they will never care for you and you will lose out on having someone that will truly love you.

If you have tried to let your partner know how bad you feel then finding a hobby or focusing on something else is not going to change your relationship.

You have got to walk away and acknowledge that no matter what the situation, you are more than capable of working on a problem, even if you are no longer together.

Money, illness or whatever it is that is keeping you "the living dead," understand that there is someone out there to ignite your inner being.

Pack your bags, make plans if it involves debt or children and get the "hell out of dodge" so that you can learn what it feels like to be important, significant and absolutely adored and loved, even if your jokes are not funny.

Empty?

You spend most of your time alone

Debt, children or loneliness does not have to force you to stay

Talking to your partner and receiving nothing but a blank face

Dates outside of your home are non existent

Walk away

Nobody likes to walk away or break up but if you are in an unhealthy relationship with a partner that just does not care, then you have to revise your situation.

Love is easy when dishing it out and receiving it feels as though you are the most important person to your partner, should you feel neglected, then talk it through.

Walk away from a bad relationship that just cannot be mended. You will never get the best of your partner as he/she will be willing to run.

Do not feel guilty as you are the one that is alone.


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      Sonam 2 years ago

      That's a smart answer to a difiucflt question.

    • Tashaonthetown profile image
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      Natasha Pelati 2 years ago from South Africa

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