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Trouble That can Lead to a Husband Relaxing in the Backyard

Updated on May 2, 2017
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth has been a member of HubPages for five years. He is retired from a 23-year career in the weekly newspaper business.

This was Just an Innocent

backyard barbecue with the devoted wife and two mature teenage children. That's all. This is not a hub about some nerve-tingling adventure about a loner alpha male who wears a five o'clock shadow with long, matted hair and blue eyes and helps to rescue a gorgeous single woman, 22, who was being attacked by a gang of thoughtless thugs.

So if you are not into me talking about dynamite exploding at every turn or maybe a car overturning from a high mountain road, then turn to some other hubber. I am going to take a little time exploring what can happen when a mature man who holds down a stressful job helping to pay his mortgage and supporting his loving wife while she applies for a job now that she is unemployed thanks to her company scaling down due to a sluggish economy.

Just one simple, natural act of the mature husband catching a rest while the briquettes in his barbecue grill is turning red and the wife and kids are preparing the steaks and salad for a family barbecue that they have not enjoyed for months because the man (who is now resting on his lawn chair) has put in 65-hour work weeks--and is grabbing some rest.

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All That This Poor Hard-Working Slob

did was innocently-glance (as most guys do) at the girl in the photo above. Isn't this girl a knock-out? You bet. Did I hear most of the men yell "yes" when I asked if she was a knock-out. I would ask what man wouldn't respond like this, but in today's world, there is something called sensitivity and tolerance, so you guys just keep a lid on it.

That was all. One innocent glance. Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, how can you measure a glance in moments, micro-seconds, or maybe nano-seconds? I am here to tell you that I have read up on this nano thing and turns out, nano means so small it takes a nuclear microscope in some scientific lab in Brunswick, New Jersey has to be handled by a lab tech who graduated in the top of his class from M.I.T.

Now that I have established both the impossibility of a lab tech using a nuclear microscope trying to measure how long or deep a glance really is, we can turn our attention back to what happens in (that) one innocent glance given by the hard-working guy who has put in a lot of 65-hour work weeks.

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At First, The Hard-Working Husband and Father

notices (in that innocent glance) that he recognizes this gorgeous beauty sprawled ever so graceful on her chase lounge on the yard next door. This guy may not be the smartest man on earth or maybe in his neighborhood, but this hard-working guy just happens to have a very sharp memory with near-perfect recall enabling him to know that this girl whom he has now recognized was at the beach where he and his wife and mature teenage children were spending some quality time swimming, surfing and just hanging out relaxing on a perfect sunny Saturday afternoon in mid-June.

The hard-working husband and father now recalls (still in that innocent glance) that this hot girl on the lawn next door lives in that two-story brick, ranch-type house and has her own ladies clothier located in the downtown area where he and his co-worker "Tom" had lunch one day two week ago when she came into "Franco's Italian Diner" and ordered take-out consisting of a hoagie sandwich without onions, a bottle of water, paid for her food, quickly smiling at him and "Tom" (who didn't see her) and leaving to go back to work.

So what, he asks to himself. She is much younger than him. He softly laughs to himself and comically-ponders that she could pass for his granddaughter. What a waste of this this innocent glance was. Just a passing innocent glance. Nothing to worry or think anymore about. Just part of living. It's now amazing how quickly this hard-working guy can rationalize with light speed every situation that he has faced.

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Just Look at What This Gorgeous Girl

is now doing. She has slipped into her two-story ranch-style home and put on a flimsy sun dress to cover her two-piece bathing suit. Good, the hard-working man thinks to himself. Less for him to look at, but now he is now looking at the gorgeous brunette who is now reading a book that looks to be about "Early French Poetry in The Late 1600s," and she is not interested in him whatsoever.

You know what's so funny right now? I have been talking to you about this all-American guy resting while the briquettes are turning red in his barbecue grill and innocently glances at the girl, but his wife or two mature teen children have not in any way noticed the pretty girl now wearing a flimsy white sundress while she is reading and her husband and the kids' father has yet to notice her.

He has now let out a sigh of deep relief for he does not want to hurt his wife or children in any way. He is not lusting for this hot brunette with perfect legs and teeth. No, sir. He even laughs to himself while he quickly entertains a thought that might be considered dangerous if the thought should take root. But he has too much to lose than ever think that he, being much her senior, would have a fiery affair with her in her own home living next to him and his family. He is a wise man. He starts to think about other things such as: the steaks being ready to put on the grill, has his wife made his favorite salad and is their mature teen children going to stay with he and his wife or go out on dates?

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As Kenny Loggins sang, "Highway to The Danger Zone,"

it is now happening to this hard-working husband and father who has made an effort to ask if the wife and kids are anywhere near the meat and salad being ready to bring out to the picnic table. His wife slightly scolds him for being impatient and the two mature kids laugh at him while he once again, for some magical reason, looks at the briquettes that are not hot enough to grill the steaks, burgers, and hotdogs, and with the speed of light, (again) glances innocently at the sizzling brunette who has now halfway smiled at him and even winked at him all before he could look off from her.

He starts a frantic series of thought processes and truly believes that he has witnessed a vision or a dream for no girl this young and hot is going to smile at him much less wink at him. It has to be a trick of Mother Nature. But he knows that it is not wise for him to stand and walk closer to the hot brunette reading her book and try to find out if what she did was real or not. He knows that his wife is still jealous although they have been married for 21 years, so he just sits and looks down at his lawn and feels proud of how close he mowed his grass only yesterday evening.

Remember The Husband's Innocent Glance in Light Speed

well, let me tell you something about guys and pretty girls. We are adults here, but do not worry, HubPages editors and AdSense, I am not about to jeopardize myself or this hub to start talking about risqué things that this hard-working husband and father of two teenage kids is about to run throughout his mature mind . . .all because of that once innocent glance.

  • The mature, hard-working husband and father notices that she has nicked her left leg while shaving her pretty legs prior to stepping out to get some sun on her chase lawn chair.
  • The halfway smile and wink given to him was real alright. And looks differently from her eyes than in his vision for she is now turned on by his mature age because she has had enough male band members and unemployed, lazy male college guys. She is single but she is not promiscuous.
  • The hard-working husband and father even finds out (thanks to his keen sense of smell) that her perfume costs around $45.00 an ounce because while he and his wife were shopping in a store last year in the mall, a lady sampled this very perfume that the saleslady sprayed on his wife's arm.
  • The hot girl who is now reading is not reading at all. She is faking the reading bit because she is very lonely and wanting some guy, this guy at the barbecue grill, to just talk to her about her store, her life, and how great it would be to have a long-range relationship with a man of his advanced age.
  • The hard-working husband and father also realizes that her hair color is not her original color. Guess what her original color was before she moved into this house? She was a pure California Blond, but people thought of her to be not so smart and changed to being a gorgeous brunette.
  • What if, the hard-working guy thinks, would happen if she would just talk to him. Now let me tell you this: all of these nano-thoughts are going on during that one innocent glance, and neither any of you or I, would be able to know that these things are transpiring in this husband and father's one innocent glance.

Now Look at What This Pretty Girl Sitting on This Hard-Working Husband and Father's Lawn is Wearing

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And Dear, Loving Followers, Just Allow me To Ask you two Questions:

In the things that I did reveal to you that was happening while inside his hard-working husband and father's innocent glance . . .

1.) What other things did occur inside this innocent guy's innocent glance. What you read in this piece was just a mere sampling of how quickly and precise the human psyche can perform you might say in cosmic speed and . . .

2.) You and I may never know what things were transpiring inside the hot brunette's counter-innocent glance when this mature guy gave her that once innocent glance.

Not even Steven Hawkin, Ph.d, and Theoretical Physicists could answer these questions.

Now good night, York, Alabama.

© 2017 Kenneth Avery

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    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 13 days ago from Queensland Australia

      I'll try my best never to even glance next door. It is much safer, Kenneth.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 13 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Jodah,

      My good friend, I have to hand it (your comment) to you. In your brief comment therein lies reams of advice that most men are oblivious.

      Not you. Not me.

      Thanks for confirming that you are a good guy and good friend.

      I appreciate you for NOT glancing too.

      I will be honest. Once, a week ago, I was "tempted" to glance, but a buzzing fly came into my eye and that changed everything.

      Flies. Would could have predicted this?

      Talk to you soon and write me anytime.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 13 days ago from Queensland Australia

      Haha Kenneth, wise men think alike. We have plenty of flies too. I just wrote a hub called "The Book of Jodah" wherein I list my own personal commandments I live by. I may have to include: "Let not your eyes stray unto the girl next door." Thanks for the idea.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 12 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Jodah,

      You are welcome for the advice on flies.

      Incidentally, flies are the only life force that neither you or I can control--and as for your book about commandments, I want to read this piece. Closely. I can use all of the unknown wisdom that you can give.

      Peace.

      Kenneth

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 12 days ago from Queensland Australia

      Here is the link, Kenneth: https://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/The-Book-...

      I hope you get some positive message from it, My Friend.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 12 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Jodah,

      Got/secured your link.

      Ready to read.

      Hey, I feel more mature right now.

    • SakinaNasir53 profile image

      Sakina Nasir 46 hours ago from Kuwait

      Haha great hub Kenneth, my dear buddy. Loved reading it and never know one could think so deeply about a single innocent glance. Deeply written, loved the humor and the images are apt as well. Keep writing such amazing hubs :)

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