- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
Busting Out from Prudish to Erotic
Being a published author is something I have always dreamed of. All my life, I have survived various negative environments by living a fantasy life. My virtual world is rich in characters, biographies, plot lines, and serial stories. I have written many of them, and have actually published a few; you can find some right here on HubPages. I am not crazy; this idiosyncrasy, in fact, has saved me from mental madness.
I have always assumed my first book would be about some of these stories. However, another project has taken up most of my writing time over the past three years, due to someone commissioning me to research and write several articles. Because many of the compositions were about the same subject, I had enough to compile them into a book. At long last, I have finally accomplished my goal of being published, and with numerous revisions, I have not one book but three. What are the topics of my books? SEX! I can’t believe this!
So why would I write books about sex education – especially since until recent years I was basically a prude? This is for several reasons. First, I was able to write those compositions because I was hiding “under the cloak of anonymity”; thus, I was able to be not so squeamish regarding the subject. In the process of researching and writing, I realized out of all the mistakes I’ve made in life, relationship - related ones aren’t on the list. Some of you may find this strange, considering the proliferation of single mothers with a ghetto background like mine. The reason I was able to escape such a fate is, I attended a Christian high school where a wonderful teacher (who was not the least bit prudish) taught us students all we needed to know, and provided a value system that prevented us from making unwise decisions. I decided it would be a good idea share with the world the knowledge I was taught in high school, because it is greatly needed. I am living breathing proof that people make the best decisions when they’re well informed.
Second, because being older and wiser has led me to become less rigid and fearful. I grew up in an environment where sex was ugly and men were a threat. I have long held the belief that good men are rare, and I was supposed to go after what few ones I could find. I was a MISERABLE failure in this venture.
Since becoming enlightened, I have learned that most men are really wonderful. Being past the typical dating age, I now flirt indiscriminately with them, regardless of whether or not they’re relationship material. As a result, I was once asked out on a date by a boy one third my age!
Third, having travelled and lived in various places, and studying many cultures, I’ve discovered the whole world is not Oakland, CA (I’m still learning!). Because of this knowledge, I am able to deal with issues that developed because of what I was forced to live with when I was younger and dumber. Facing these issues has enabled me to see matters from a completely different point of view – and a far more positive one! The world is not necessarily going to hell in a handbasket. Sure, some things are worse, but most of the changes that have happened in recent decades are improvements. That’s why you’re able to read this on the internet!
There are other reasons, but I’ll skip those for now. So here they are – the fruits of my wisdom and labor!
This is a facts-of-life book for youth aged 12 to 15. The 8 chapters explain in detail the basics of healthy and wholesome relationships, pitfalls to avoid, sexually transmitted diseases, birth control, and money management. The illustrations are in black and white. This book is also available in kindle format; in it, the illustrations are in full color.
The books I wrote for youth are Wage Peace Between the Sexes (Sugar Version) for ages 12 – 15, and Wage Peace Between the Sexes (Spice Version) for ages 16 – 18. I start each chapter with a true or false quiz, and discuss those questions within the chapter. At the end, I add activities and discussions on the subject matter. Though I have aimed primarily towards a heterosexual audience, homosexuals can also apply the knowledge offered. Some of the topics my book covers are:
How to be an Alpha Male / Female. I’m not referring to domineering he-men and bitchy women, but rather people who naturally attract dates like magnets and have fun doing it. The key is to genuinely like the opposite gender. How do you overcome your personal suspicions and achieve that? By focusing on their positive aspects. What do you like best about them? Also figure out what you like the least, and avoid situations where that’s an issue. Ultimately, men and women are more alike than different, and we all want pretty much the same things, so rather than resort to negative stereotypes about them, give them the benefit of the doubt and treat them with respect.
Where to meet great men / women. This is not as difficult as it seems. The best way is to do the things you love with like-minded people. I list several excellent venues towards this end. I also name numerous ideas for dates that will help couples truly get to know one another.
Common social pitfalls to avoid, such as giving inappropriate gifts, going steady and becoming intimate too soon in the relationship, stealing someone else’s partner, slut-shaming, “settling” for someone who you know is inappropriate but you’re afraid you can’t find anyone else, clinging to someone who is unavailable, abusive partners, date rape, drugs, and alcohol. This chapter also addresses homosexuality, acquiring and screening friends through joining social groups, recognizing cults, and the use of erotica / pornography.
A full discussion on sexually transmitted diseases, the prevalence of each, the different ways they are contracted, common symptoms, and how they are treated.
A complete guide to birth control, how each method is used, the advantages of choosing that method, the disadvantages, and their degree of effectiveness.
A chapter on money management, since the #1 subject couples fight about is money. In this chapter, I discuss the 3 major ways to earn a living, advice on how to acquire skills (such as taking courses in high school that will enable you to earn a sustainable wage) , and approaches on saving and investing money so people don’t spend all their vital energy worrying about finances. Included is a link on how to make the most of a college education, so those who choose to pursue that route don’t wind up as yet another statistic. I also explain the importance of obtaining the proper insurances, how to budget wisely, and what is involved on leaving an inheritance.
How to make a marriage last. Divorce statistics are actually far lower than the media would have you believe; same with the demographics on infidelity. I list attributes people should have in order to make an ideal marriage partner, and traits to avoid / overcome. This chapter also includes important factors to discuss after finding a partner they want for a lifetime – BEFORE marriage.
Have you ever broken loose from a lifelong shackling belief?
This is the same as the Sugar Version, but includes an additional chapter describing sex and dealing with its common issues. It is for youth aged 16 - 18. The pictures are black and white; in the kindle version, they are full color.
The Spice Version contains an additional chapter on the basics on sex, and how to deal with common problems. I discuss the benefits of a positive erotic life and ways to achieve it, as well as addressing the adverse effects of psychological dysfunction and physical diseases. The activities at the end of this chapter include discussions on the Madonna / Whore syndrome so common in Western society, the possible causes behind it, and ways other cultures have dealt with such a dilemma.
This book is “Wage Peace Between the Sexes” for adults. A large book (8 ½ by 11 inches, containing over 400 pages), it is loaded with sexual information presented in an honest and beneficial manner, and beautiful erotic images. This book will help couples, whether they are new to sex or older and jaded, live a healthy and wholesome sexual lifestyle! In the print version, the images are black and white. in the kindle version, they are in full color.
If You Like Sex, Read This Book! is for people 18 years old and over. It is ideal for those new to intimacy, and also those who have been in a relationship a long time and have therefore become jaded. The first half of the book is an adult version of Wage Peace Between the Sexes (Spice Version). The second half consists of nine chapters discussing various aspects of sensual living such as dance, lingerie and fashion, seduction - enhancing products to buy, gift ideas, and erotic devices. Three chapters provide a catalog on board, card, and other types of games couples can play to educate themselves about lovemaking, explaining the rules on how to play them, including additional items needed and ideas for embellishment. In the last chapter, I include movies, literature, and ideas for vacations and honeymoons. This information also entails erotic practices from countries around the world. At the end of each chapter is a list of links where to purchase the products.
So, are you guys ready for an exotic, erotic adventure? If so, please check out these three titles: Wage Peace Between the Sexes: A Guide to Healthy and Wholesome Sensual Relationships for Youth (Sugar Version) and (Spice Version) and If You Like Sex, Read This Book! (Wage Peace Between the Sexes for Adults) by Ana Kolomeka. (This is my pen name; it means Andromeda in Hawaiian). You can read the first 2 chapters of the youth books and the first 3 chapters of the adult book in the Kindle versions on Amazon. Please write your thoughts, opinions, and reviews on Amazon, and in the Comments section here. Enjoy!
Sensuality is more than a Red Light District...
I have posted excerpts of a few chapters of Wage Peace Between the Sexes (Sugar Version)on a separate HubPages site, under my pen name Ana Kolomeka. I did it so educators can review it and decide if they want to use it in their curriculum. Here is the link; you can read it there.
© 2014 Yoleen Lucas