- Gender and Relationships
True Friendship-Does It Still Exist?
Qualities of a True Freindship
There are times when you meet someone and it is obvious to you that the person you have met is true blue. True friends are usually
- Honest- they tell you the truth even when it hurts
- Compassionate- they empathize with you ,they see your situation with a loving eye
- Loyal-they stick with you through ups and downs,good and bad
- Kind- they are usually kind they speak and behave loving towards you
- Generous-they are generous with their resources ,time, space, and money
- Assertive- they know how to say no without being mean
- Love- they love you just as you are where you are
Certainly this is a tall order according to some . This is why we usually have only a few during our lifetime.
Does True Friendship Exist
Friendship is a single soul living in two bodies-Aristotle.This is the depth of a true friendship. Yes, they do exist. They are rare and from what I understand they usually start off in childhood. Sometimes we meet true friends in high school or college.True friendships are defined by their quality. When trust,love and genuine concern are among the elements in the relationship it is real.
Aristotle being a practical man went on to state this "there are three types of friends:those based on usefulness(contacts),on pleasure(drinking buddies) and on a shared pursuit of virtue(the highest form of all).True friends,he contended, are simply drawn to the goodness in one another, goodness that today we might define in terms of common passions and sensibilities.
I asked the question because as I observe the type of relationships that are passing off as true friendship. It intrigued me to see so many different types that did not come close to what true friendship is. We are now in the information age of social networking,where according to stats for every one person there is one hundred and thirty friends,really? I don't doubt the usefulness of social networking nor the fun millions find in this tool.However, I read somewhere we may only get up to four true friends in our life time
What True Friendship is Not
Sometimes it takes us to see what something is not before we can see what it is. This happens not only in friendships but love as well. We all have human vulnerabilities. There are times we want things so bad, we are willing to turn away from the truth. Other times we are simply inexperienced . We lose because we really do not know any better. When I say lose.I mean the time wasted on someone who isn't worth it. In truth, if you have ever been true to someone who has deceived you. It really is their loss. It sounds like a cliché and perhaps it is. Still,given enough time and distance from a bad friendship ,you will come to appreciate the wisdom of said cliché.So here goes nothing ,a true friendship is not:
- Built on lies- If someone who calls them self your friend, lies to you about anything, they are not a true friend. For whatever reason they do not trust you are themselves.This not a good sign
- Back Biting- If they talk bad about you behind your back .They are either jealous or petty. Still they can not be trusted
- Do not value your time or energy- If their needs must come first all the time while your needs are dismissed or minimized the relationship is one sided at best. At worst you could be dealing with a narcissist.
- Critical-If they curse or criticize you they do not think much of you and are probably dealing with deep seated insecurities. They see you as someone to boost their sagging ego.
- Break Your Confidence- If you tell someone something important and they become the town crier at your expense. That person does not value your privacy. They are not a true friend
I understand that we all fall short. That even some of the best people do bad things. At some point we all must ask for forgiveness for some unintended hurt we may cause someone else. However, if these characteristic show up at the beginning of the relationship and stay there. Houston ,we have a problem.
Friendship and Well Being
I have provided a few stats about friendship and well-being . I hope you enjoy them.
- Those who have friends over a nine year period cut their risk of death by more than 60%.Source:Anapsid
- Dr.Dean Ornish,a pioneer in reversing heart disease, notes that no other factor in medicine-"not diet,not smoking,not exercise,not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery- has a greater effect on how often we get sick than the healing power of love." Source:Capecodonline.com
- In on study,women saw "volunteer friends"regularly throughout the year.72% had remission in depression. That's about the same success rate as antidepressants.Source:Psychologytoday.com
- You will go through 396 friends in a lifetime but will have only 33 at one time Source:Flatlock.org
- Studies show unequivocally that it's the friendship part of marriage that makes it last.Source:Psychologytoday
- very rarely do they speak on the phone,and they are even less likely to meet face to face.One in 3 people admit they have silent friends and they say they make contact with them up to 4 times a year Source:Microsoft.com
- People with a strong social network are more likely;y to survive a major illness such as heart attack or cancer. Human companionship can also help reduce the effects of stress on the body, protect against illness and help us heal when we get sick. They are also less susceptible to chronic illnesses such as heart disease, inflammatory bowel disease and arthritis.Source:Capecodonline.com
- The famed Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School were so significant, the researchers concluded,that not having close friends was as detrimental to your health as smoking and carrying extra weight.Source:Anapsid.org
Do You Believe True Friendship Exist?
Did You Know About Friendship Day?
Here are a few facts about Friendship Day:
- In 1935, the United States Congress announced the first Sunday of August as the National Friendship Day and declared it to be a holiday in honor of friends.
- Women's Friendship Day is celebrated on the third Sunday of September.
- Best Friends weekend is an occasion established by the Best Friends Animal Society. It is celebrated every year from June 23-25 to honor and protect the rights of animals.
- D'del Amigo, the Spanish Friend's Day, is a celebration of friendship, held annually on July 20th mainly in Argentina and Uruguay.
- Old Friends New Friends Week is in the Third Week of May
- The Whole of February is designated as the international Friendship Month.
- In 1997 ,the United Nations named Winnie-the Pooh,the famous cartoon character as the Ambassador of Friendship.
- The immortal song"With a Little Help from My Friends"by the Beatles that deals with the theme of friendship was released in 1967.
(Source:Facts of Friends.Com)
Friendship and Our Wellbieng
Freindships in America
fat,happy or lonely?
Friendships in America
death,depression, or aging
will be happy with you
stop being annoyed after years of knowing you
have no one to talk to
risk of death cut by
will be obese
had remission of depression