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- Relationship Problems & Advice
True Love Exists
If you read some of my other hubs concerning my past relationship (marriage of 15 years) for example: My hub titled Living With A Narcissist, you will understand why I shouldn't believe that true love exists. Not only did my abusive marriage sqaush the idea, but my entire life was full of selfish, non-loving, abusive people as well. I'm not saying I had the worst life in the history of life. I do have family that loves me, but back when I was young, things were not so sweet and lovey-dovey. I had no idea what love was. I never witnessed it, never heard about it, never even realized love was supposed to be a part of life.
All that being said, I'm not hashing these issues because I want pity. In fact, quite the opposite. I'm glad that i've been where i've been in life. All those people and events rolled into one, made me who I am today and for the most part, I love myself completely.
When I wasn't looking:
After I finally left my abusive marriage, I obviously needed a plan to remodel my entire life. I'd been stuck in the same rut for so long I wasn't sure how to go about living on my own and taking care of myself, I'd never had to do so in my life. I went from living at home with my mother straight into my marriage.
So of course things were "up in the air" at that point, I couldn't take any of my three children with me because I had no money, no job, no vehicle. I literally had to start from the bottom. This was the saddest time of my life, having to leave my children with their jerk father while I got on my feet. Nonetheless it was the best decision I've ever made, to go off the subject for a moment, I'm getting custody of all three children very soon.
Anyways, I got a job right after I left, stayed at a shelter and took the bus and got rides from co-workers. After a couple months I moved in with a family member and got a car. I was so proud of myself, I still am. I never thought I could do it on my own, especially that quick.
So at my new job I had a trainer that taught the new employees how to fundraise for the Republican candidates and committees in the country. Now don't get on me for the party I worked for, I didn't say whether I belong to the party or not, I just worked for them:)
Anthony, is his name. My beautiful, manly, smart, funny, and charming coach/trainer, Anthony. He mesmerized me from the very first day in training. I watched his every move as he poured his heart and passion into what he was teaching us. He bolted back and forth across the front of the room with energy and character. He was one of the best teachers I've ever had in my life. You could feel his passion for what he was teaching. As he'd scan his eyes across the class of 5 while lecturing, our eyes would meet for just a few moments. I was totally enthralled by him. He could see through me, I could see through him. For the first time in my life I actually analyzed him to the point where I found out later that I was dead-on. I'd never conciously tried to foresee or read a person's character, I always took them for what I saw. But for some reason Anthony made me want to know him. I wanted to know his soul, I wanted him to know mine. It was a bit awkward at first, for me, because I didn't know why I was so into him in such a short time. I'd never had these feelings in my life, ever.
Of course at this time I was still reeling from an ugly separation from my abusive ex. And I was also well aware that it's not healthy to get into a relationship within the first year after a breakup. That being said, it was on.
A few weeks after I started working there I just couldn't help myself anymore. I had to know him. So I found him on Facebook and the rest is history. We have talked every single day since then and we've been together now for over 10 months and I've never felt a love like this, never thought it existed.
Long Story Short:
Anthony is the most amazing male creature I've ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life. We talk about everything, we laugh about everything, we've had many similar life events happen to us. We connect on every level possible. He cares about me, he's thoughtful, he's sweet, he's kind, he's honest, and we have the most amazing romantic life I could imagine!! He far surpasses any man I've been with in the past in every way possible. He loves me, he truly does. And I truly love him.
I know what many of you are thinking, "oh you've only been together less than a year, just wait"...but that doesn't compute for me. That's not true. I've had three other long term relationships in my life and none had still been good by this point. Things were already going downhill by this time in my other relationships. Not that they were horrible, but Anthony and I have something special. To this day when we look into each others eyes, we see into each others souls, it's true, magical love and we will be together for life!
So please, hang on if you're single and want to be in love. If you think there are no good men out there, just wait. Stop looking!! Like they say, it'll happen when you least expect it! And that is the truth! Make sure God is a part of your life and you will have good things happen for yourself in every area. Be sure to love yourself first, then you will be able to allow someone else to love you completely.
My Abusive Relationships
- Das Boot
- Social Phobia Keeps Me Inside
Suffering with a social phobia can be extremely debilitating. You are so anxious and/or depressed that you're literally unable to leave your home. Sone people are able to leave home but only to do things that require very little or no social contact.
- Love My Kids, Hate Their Abusive Father