ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Relationship Problems & Advice

Trust, Betrayal and Religion

Updated on October 20, 2016
DDE profile image

I learned about making sheep's wool during my stay in South Africa. An interesting process to oversee.

Relationship Issues

Source
Source
Source
Source
Source
Source

Trust Allows for Healthy Relationships

Marriages are often the problem for many couples. They want to marry but for different reasons.

If what they want is not accomplished within their marriage, couples feel the need to separate.

Religion gets in the way of life and can be difficult to cope with if couples make it a huge issue.

People need to trust without trust you have nothing much in any relationship.

Trust makes all things possible for one another.

Distrust can make an individual feel very lonely but there is nothing worse in life than to distrust another.

Betrayal hurts the one you love and intimately betrayal can hurt your child or close friends and other members of your family.

Trust is needed but people are afraid to trust one another.

  • For example:

Two people married of a different religion she is Hindu and he is Catholic.

After many years of marriage he wants to marry his wife in the Catholic Church the wife is fine with the arrangement and agrees.

The priest denies this marriage due to personal issues with the Catholic guy.

The priest does not accept to marry the couple.

The husband becomes upset and seeks the help of another priest after careful consideration the first priest reconsiders and accepts the marriage in church.

These kind of issues make a marriage stressful and distrustful.

  • Why distrustful?

To begin with at first the couple should have married in the Catholic Church then all the unnecessary issues would have not been a problem as the priest sees the marriage as sinful. The husband lied in parts of his conversation to the priest that he had been married in church.

The lies caused the situation to be most complicated.

The lack of quality in people are shown when they tell lies, when they are betrayed, and when religion is a problem in a relationship.

When the moment gets soft one chooses betrayal to get out of their mess.

The married woman found her comfort zone with a single guy he has never before been in a relationship and finds that to be his chance to open up to a woman.

Secret conversations and all the time spent together have made their friendship grow into a fantasy or lust for each other.

The husband trusts his wife and knows she would not step over any boundaries and neither would the single Catholic guy. That is exactly what went wrong. The single guy kissed the married woman on her the cheek twice and hugged her tightly.

The husband sensed these actions but failed to confront the single guy, or his wife about it.

No matter what the religion, trust is important between any couple. If you are not able to trust your partner you should not be with them.

Sometimes hugs and kisses don't mean a thing but when you think something is going on the best is to confront the situation.

When an individual is in love with someone the blindness of love denies them to see the part that will cause them hurt and betrayal.

Betrayal is possible by the one you love just the part of dealing with it that can get you down the most and trust makes all that go away for some people.

Trust broken is not easily rebuilt it is the core of any relationship.

Lies told can make the trust between two people and having an affair as betrayal, the religion differences is a lack of knowledge that makes couples rethink their decisions when it comes to marriage.

You can marry whomever you want love is what keeps a couple together but if they don't have trust then everything else becomes meaningless.

  • If there is less meaning to what one has in a marriage or any relationship. what is the purpose of having that marriage or relationship?

Family stealing from each other and yet you think family can be trusted that is the lowest for anyone to behave in such a poor manner.

You invite family over to spend the day together. The kids are playing sharing conversations with cousins and screaming while running through the house while trying to grab on to each other.

  • In the mean time you have to lock your valuables away because they would steal from you has this ever happened to you?

A wealthy family invites other family members over for lunch. The family arrives and one of the family members has one thought on their mind to steal something of value before leaving the home of the wealthy family.

It is not fair to any family to be this way in this case it works out well.

The cousins get together, and talk about stuff the wealthy cousin shares with her other cousins of how much money she has.

The cousin is eager to know more and scans where the valuables are kept. On the way out they manage to steal the birthday present, a gold chain with a lovely pendant.

Hours later, the wealthy cousin realizes what is missing from her drawer. Nobody else has been there, except for her very friendly cousin. The disappointed cousin stays away from this family member. Immediately. Trust is lost between two families.

Something you would not expect from family. The precious bond disappears or vanishes when together and friendships are made or broken just as trust is.

It makes people hate each other or love each other for who they really are or for what they really mean to each other.

You can be betrayed intimately by family and close friends this shows the lack of trust.

One can become angry and hate the other for behaving that way emotionally it can destroy you.

  • Would you reconnect to the one who betrayed you?

  • When you feel weak or vulnerable in such situations how do you approach the moment?
  • Do you feel improvement, appreciative?

  • Would you become upset, and angry?

  • Would you fall apart and close yourself from others?

  • Do you think cheating is the answer to get back to your partner?

Trust, love, understanding, betrayal, religion, make a relationship healthy or unhealthy.

With patience you can have what you want from your relationship.

Marry for the right reasons are often what you may think is the answer.

What are there the right reasons for marriage?

  • Is love the right reason?

Love is not always the right reason.

Most couples don't want to commit because of previously failed relationships, or marriage and from the experience of their parents being divorced.

  • Another example as the following:

A single guy at the age of fifty seven decides to marry a woman of forty four.

They met a month ago and are now planning their wedding she shares the same values as he and she is the kind of person he needs in his life.

The one who will attend church with him, who will be there at all times and as he wants the marriage to be.

It is traditional, and arranged for a couple to marry the one who can do everything for the other in this case she has to do for him.

Cooking, cleaning, serving, and to be there at all times.

It is normal for this to be in such traditional marriages.

I, however, don't think it is right for such an approach.

Traditionally, it sounds right but looking at how the world has changed some traditions won't fade and it is sad to see how most women are treated in arranged marriages.

He is dominant and won't have it any other way but his way.

She has to cope with everything he has to offer.

  • Can such a marriage last through all times?

Couples who marry for love can overcome many obstacles.

If they marry for specific reasons like for one to have their child there would always be an issue to solve in their relationship, and this can lead to a break up.

It also depends on what kind of an agreement one has to go through a marriage.

Happiness is so important to any relationship apart from trust without happiness there is not much to enjoy.

Living together before marriage is considered a sin in some cultures. Gone are the days when that matters to anyone.

Most people choose to live the modern way and some still choose to follow their traditions.

It is also good to keep up with tradition never forget your roots or where came from and how you were raised.

Also, you should not stop living life as you like a bit of each makes you know more and experience more in life.

Trust in Relationships

Trust and Religion is affected by Intimate Betrayal

Do you think Religion is a Problem in many Relationships?

See results

Arranged marriages

The open-minded writer who enjoys sharing her interests.
The open-minded writer who enjoys sharing her interests. | Source

© 2014 Devika Primić

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Nell Rose true it the marriage can work if one understands he situation they got themselves into. Thank you for commenting.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      There are many things that can get in the way of a good relationship, religion being one of the main ones. Not the actual people themselves but relatives, and the religious leaders. Saying that, I have a friend who is Christian, and she has been married to a Muslim for 30 years! lol! so it does work!

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      AliciaC thank you for sharing your valuable thoughts here my best wishes to you for 2014.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      There are lots of interesting ideas in your hub, as always, DDE. Trust is definitely very important in any relationship! I hope you have a great 2014.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi MsDora thank you for sharing your thoughts here and sometime it can be a long wait my best wishes to you for 2014.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi FlourishAnyway thank you for commenting my best wishes to you for 2014.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi savvydating so kind of you to comment and sometimes couples can put their differences aside concerning religion, I too know a couple in the same situation, My best wishes to you for 2014. Thank you

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      "With patience you can have what you want from your relationship." I believe that, but sometimes the wait seem so long. Thank you for reminding us of what really matters in the relationship.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      Like any issue, religion can splinter people apart as well as unite them. It's definitely one of those issues to thoroughly discuss before marriage.

    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 3 years ago

      I know a couple who has made their different religious beliefs a non-issue. One is Catholic, the other is Jewish. They take turns gong to Mass and Synagogue, but of course, they also trust each other deeply. Theirs is a solid marriage.

      By the way, I hope you have a successful New Year, DDE. Happy 2014.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Jackie Lynnley Well pointed out and so true thank you my best wishes to you for 2014.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi billybuc thank you for commenting my best wishes to you for 2014.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      sheilamyers you made a good point ''If your religion is important to you, you have to let the man or woman know ahead of time. If they can't accept your beliefs before you get married, then there shouldn't be a wedding.'' Thank you and my best wishes to

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      sunilkunnoth2012, I am glad you understand this hub thank you for commenting my best wishes to you for 2014.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      tom mukasa, thanks for sharing your thoughts here my best wishes to you

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      kidscrafts My best wishes to you for 2014, thank you for sharing your experience so kind of you to come by.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      purnasrinivas well said and thank you for commenting my best wishes to you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Faith Reaper, thank you for the vote up and more so glad you understand this hub and I so agree with you. My best wishes to you.

    • DDE profile image
      Author

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi ChitrangadaSharan thank you for commenting and understanding this hub so kind of you to come by. All my best to you.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Nice hub, on Trust, Betrayal and Religion.

      Successful relationships need lot of trust and understanding. Both the partners must have the mindset to make the relationship work and to overcome any problems that arise.

      Thanks for sharing!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Yes, trust is number one and if one there is not trust in the marriage, then the marriage is not a good one for sure! It is important very important to marry one with the same beliefs, as God tells us to not get married and be unequally yoked. When a couple has different beliefs, then it is very difficult for the marriage to work. My husband and I were married very young and we came from different denominations, but both Christians.

      Up and more

      Happy New Year, Devika!

      Faith Reaper

    • purnasrinivas profile image

      purnasrinivas 3 years ago from Bangalore

      People never change so it is always better that we accept the person as she/ he is during the marriage. We should never start our life with an expectation of changing a person. Good hub!

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 3 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      When you are from different religion, you have to find a common ground. I now that some couples fail because of religion and I think it's because of the pressure of other family members. My husband and I are not of the same religion and we found a way to be in a neutral zone. We are not from the same country and don't have the same first language.... and we found solution for that too. So the secret is always communication through everything to have no grey area in the relationship!

      Happy New Year, Devika!

    • profile image

      tom mukasa 3 years ago

      To be in a relationship requires talking, communicating, planning together, knowing you both are humans and not asking too much of each other every day.

    • sunilkunnoth2012 profile image

      Sunil Kumar Kunnoth 3 years ago from Calicut (Kozhikode, South India)

      A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

      -Mignon McLaughlin

      Adjustment and compromise will do wonders. But the million dollar question is who will be good enough to adjust or sacrifice.

      A decent topic with clear presentation. Thank you for sharing some great thoughts.

    • profile image

      sheilamyers 3 years ago

      I may be missing the point of this hub because I don't see how you're relating religion and a betrayal of trust. Yes, a difference of religion can in fact lead to feeling betrayed and for other reasons destroy a marriage. However, one of the problems in the modern world are that people leap into marriage without ever having discussed religion with their spouse. If your religion is important to you, you have to let the man or woman know ahead of time. If they can't accept your beliefs before you get married, then there shouldn't be a wedding.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Considering how complicated human beings are, it is amazing that any marriages last more than one year. It takes work, willingness and a whole bunch of love. Great thoughts here.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      So many marry thinking they can turn this other person into who they want to, teach them to believe like them and all will work out, but it does not work that way, they best marry who they want not someone they want to mold. ^