Truth in Dating
Wikipedia defines a lie as:
A lie is an intentionally false statement to a person or group made by another person or group who knows it is not wholly the truth. Lies can be told for various reasons, and with various amounts of success.
Wikipedia defines deception as:
Deception, beguilement, deceit, bluff, mystification and subterfuge are acts to propagate beliefs of things that are not true, or not the whole truth (as in half-truths or omission). Deception can involve dissimulation, propaganda, and sleight of hand, as well as distraction, camouflage, or concealment. Deception is a major relational transgression that often leads to feelings of betrayal and distrust between relational partners. Deception violates relational rules and is considered to be a negative violation of expectations.
Pathological Liars are unable to control their lying.
Whatever course of action one might label oneself, a false presentation of your situation robs the other person of making a judgment based on accepting you for who you are and where you are in your life. Contrary to popular belief you can not keep the lie alive forever. For some, deceit and manipulation is a way of life in order to cause others to believe. How long does “smoke and mirrors” last? How long before a false presentation not only is “discovered” but any level of respect a partner may have had for you dissipates. Honestly ask yourself, who could trust and love someone who is not real? A figment of one's imagination is not the person deserving or worthy of a fulfilling long-term relationship.
When deceit and lies turn deadly:
Lying and deceit when dating is a trend that has existed throughout the ages. Who could forget such stories of deception, tragic love stories, dating back to biblical times. Remember Sampson and Delilah?
Who could forget such countless scenarios such as Celeste Beard? Celeste Beard thought she had killed her husband, Steven Beard, a retired television executive who woke one night to find his innards lying where his belly normally would have been. Apparently his wife Celeste had manipulated her lover into being the “hit man” in an attempt to get away with murder.
The murder of Ted Binion of Binion's Horseshoe in Las Vegas, NV at the hands of his girlfriend.
Sandy Murphy and Rick Tabish were arrested for Binion's murder and charges included: conspiracy, robbery, grand larceny and even burglary. Both Murphy and Tabish were charged with conspiracy to kill Binion for his wealth, drugging Binion into unconsciousness and burking him. Burking was an outdated form of manual suffocation believed to be carried out because it was taking too long for him to die. The wealth of Ted Binion included the removal of his fortune from a vault on the desert floor in Pahrump of which only Ted Binion and Rick Tabish had the combination.
Dr. Martin MacNeill. Who could forget the famous trial of the successful doctor and attorney that used his medical knowledge to cause his wife to overdose at her residence while she was recuperating from cosmetic surgery. Medical examiners found Valium, Percocet, Phenergan, and ambien which were essential in leading to her death.
The Point of It All:
So to all those who are dating be honest about who you are, don't waste your time or others.
Have the conversation expressing the truth about what you want, keep in mind and remind your partner that your desires are not necessarily tailored to include them in your life? It's perfectly logical to say that you hope to meet that person you enjoy spending time with and getting to know each other in a relationship.
Make sure you partner knows that's your intent but make it clear that just because you have those desires doesn't mean they are the source of your long term plans. They don't have the job by application.
Take your time to determine truth from lies. Weary of people that want to rush relationships so urgently.
Be honest with your presentation. If you like to go out then enjoy activities going out. If you like to stay at home then you should present yourself as such. Ladies and gentleman do not lie to yourself. Do not compromise important things that you want out of a relationship just to have someone – you will be miserable. The other person becomes miserable because you didn't accept them for who they are and you are miserable because you settled.
Truth in presentation, always remember people come as is not with upgrade hopes and dreams. Know what are "must haves" and "preferences."
A website dedicated to dating and relationships list some of the lies that stand out the most when people express the joys of dating.
Here are some of the lies that stand out according to the website:
I don’t want a serious girlfriend/boyfriend. Who are you kidding? Men and women date because they want to fall in love. It’s OK to admit that! It’s a good thing!
I just want to meet interesting people. Yes, you do, but you also want to fall in love and be in a relationship.
There are no good men/women out there. Of course there are, you just haven’t met them yet. If you keep dating, you might meet some more bad ones, but a good one could be right around the corner!
I’m just dating for sex, nothing else. People who say this are self-protecting because they are afraid to be in a relationship, or they have low self-esteem and feel like they are only worthy of sex and nothing else. You deserve to be in a relationship that offers more than physical pleasure. Tell yourself that!
I don’t want to fall in love. Sure, you don’t.
I’m really enjoying meeting all these new and interesting people. That might be true, but honestly, you just want ONE. You want to meet an interesting man or woman and date only him or her.
Dating is overrated. I’m happy being alone. Not saying you’re not happy, but you’re not happy about being alone. It’s human nature to want to be in a relationship.