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Trying online dating

Updated on January 15, 2012
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Early last year I thought I’d try online dating. I’d been single for some time and thought that it would be nice to meet someone. Thinking about it now just makes me want to laugh. It was the most hilarious time of my life and quite an interesting journey. Don’t get me wrong on this one, if you seriously want to find someone I believe you will meet that special person. But I also think it can be hard finding that person online. Well at least I found it so.

There have been people; two of my close friends who have found love online. On the other hand there is another friend of mine who hasn’t found love online and keeps attracting the wrong kind of guy. I on the other hand had some good dates and some not so good dates but no lasting dates. Will I go online again, yes I would but without expectation. The reason I say this is because online dating can be exhausting and disappointing. Not everyone is going online with genuine reasons. Some people have different intentions than you have so you have to be extra careful. I will share with you some of the things I did wrong and some of the sites I used.

Things I did wrong.

I joined a free website. Big mistake; maybe. Have you heard of the website Plenty Of Fish? Oh well, that just says it all. There are plenty of fish alright, catching the right one, hmmm, tall order. I’m not saying this site is all bad and I’ll give it some credit because a very close friend of mine found love on this site three years ago and they are still together. I also meet a very nice guy on this site but it didn’t work out. So yes you can find good people on there but you’ll have to sift through the not so good.

The problem I had with this site was that everyone and I mean everyone, from the married to the single to the god knows what are on this site. My mail box would fill up pretty quickly that it became annoying. If you choose to go on this site, you can get rid of the unsavoury characters easily. There is a settings tab you can use to bar people. I decided that if anyone wanted to contact me, they should at least be able to string at least twenty words together. So I put a word count on the email tab so that if anyone wrote to me using text speech or less than twenty words they couldn’t contact me. I guess it made people make the effort if they really wanted to talk to me. I also barred the unemployed. Unfortunately for me it just isn’t what I was looking for. There is nothing wrong with being unemployed I’d just think that finding a job would be a top priority than finding a date. That’s what I’d be doing if I was unemployed, dating would be my least priority.

After about two weeks of idiot mail, I got a decent long email from someone. He seemed genuinely interested. He practised Buddhism and I hoped that with this he at least had a clue on life. We had great conversations for a week and then we decided to meet up for coffee. I’m not so fussed about looks, but if a person lies about their looks then it becomes a problem. To say you’re six three when you’re five ten is just not honest. Anyway we sat down for coffee and had great conversation for about thirty minutes then slam, he train wrecked the conversation.

Who tells you their life story on the first date? He was married seven years with one child, then got divorced, a year later met a Thai woman who fell pregnant, then tried to marry her to keep her in the country. The Thai woman was deported with his son and has to visit them every six months….I stopped him right there and shot out of the place like a bullet from a gun. It was hilarious not that I think about it. I must admit I was a little bit shocked.

After this I decided to shut down my Plenty of Fish account. It wasn’t working for me, but then again it’s worked for two people I know. It might work for someone else but I would honestly say go in expecting nothing and you could be pleasantly surprised.

Dating sites I used

I did some searches on dating websites and tried a few more.

Match.com is good, I met a lovely guy on there but we when we met there was no chemistry.

Be2.co.uk. Please be wary of this website, the terms and conditions aren’t very clear. It lures you into a one month trial for £5 with the option to cancel before your renewal date. You must read the conditions because what many people fail to realise is that they have to cancel the subscription fourteen days before it expires otherwise you are tied into the subscription. I will do a follow up topic on be2.co.uk on how to cancel membership as a lot of people have been trapped into this website.

Zooks.com – this website was okay, no complaints here.

Fitness singles – also okay if you’re into fitness. I meet a guy who was into mountain biking and he couldn’t shut up about it.

eharmony – I would say that if you’re seriously looking for a long term relationship this would be the best. People on this website are just as serious as you are about finding a partner.

I’ve tried it and I'm glad I did, but for now this isn’t for me. It was a great experience and perhaps later when I’m not too busy I will try dating online again. If you seriously want to find a date online, make sure you choose a reputable site. A site that has a phone number and has great feed back. Hopefully you’ll find that special person.

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    • lin8t profile image
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      lin8t 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thanks for your comment perspycacious, I agree you should do detective work and find out as much as you can about the person. Some people a masters at deceit and could tick all the boxes and turn out to be a psycho. As for me, online dating is not the way to go for now.

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 5 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      You can easily play detective in this area, and you should! Find out everything you can find out about the person before even considering a date, and that means doing some homework (not just asking him or her questions online.) Good date-matching services will at least do the minimum of this for you, i.e. the person really is single, really is employed or owns a business or is otherwise self-supporting, the phone number isn't just a commercial answering service, is there a criminal record, etc. It isn't just separating the sheep from the goats, it's a matter of personal safety, too.

    • lin8t profile image
      Author

      lin8t 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Angela, nurse or purse, that's a funny one. Dating on the web is a tricky one. I think I'll keep away at the moement. Thanks for your comment. All the best to you :-)

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 5 years ago from Central Texas

      Hi lin8t -- tried some dating sites a few years back and immediately found that in my age group all the guys were either looking for a nurse or a purse and I don't fit either description. Great Hub and right on target. Best, Sis

    • lin8t profile image
      Author

      lin8t 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi alexsaez thanks for you comment. Talks to the dead??? And I thought I'd heard it all. That's so funny. POF is some site!

    • profile image

      alexsaez1983 5 years ago

      PoF is the only site I ever tried. Never again. I'm friends with a couple of girls I met there, but the rest were completely insane. One was a former heroine addict who claimed she could talk to dead people.